"BARBADOS ..." A CONVERSATION WITH DIVA ALEXANDER


 am a person. I can stand up for myself If it means that I have to kill
 you before you hurt me then I'm going to do it and I'm very serious,
 because I've had incidents in the past where people tried to hurt me
 and they were shot. What they are condemning, they go and do the
 same thing. With a man or with a woman they do it. They do this thing
 about trunking [having anal sex with] women.
CG- So you see yourself as being honest?
DA- I believe I couldn't live any other way and it's sad to be so
 uncomfortable in this country and at dis-ease with the whole situation.
 Well I like to be myself all the time. I don't want to try and pretend
 and say, "Hey, hey. What going on?" I can't deal with that. Too much
 on my brain.
CG- Did you have trouble when you were younger with people trying to
 threaten you physically?
DA- My childhood was very good. Around seventeen or eighteen, it started
 to get very stressful. I have people trying to bully me. I was always a
 tough one. I am one who looks very soft, but when you come to me, I
 fight you. I don't give up until I see blood coming. I fought all my life.
 I used to do martial arts. I use these [indicating her hands], girlfriend.
 I have no fear. Igo into place where people would say. "You went up
 there?" I don't care. I have to live my life and I'm not going to let
 anybody tell me I can't go here or there. When you go to gas stations
 and people don't want to serve you, I kick up a fuss and the nasty side
 of me comes out. I believe in justice and treating everybody fairly.
 And when I see that I say, "hey, uh-uh. People losing jobs for that. Hey,
 I'm going to have your job." Simple, simple. Most of the time I get
 people just looking. 'Cause I'm so calm.
 One day this girl said, "I just want to tell you, I consider you so brave.
 You are so cool. How do you keep so?" I meditate all morning.
 Whenever I go, wherever I go the father is watching me. Angels are
 there. I believe in that strongly. Situations where I could have died, I
 just floated right through them. I had an ordeal this year. This is
 tantamount to anything that has happened to me so far and in situations
 like that quotes from the Bible come to you so easily. And I started to
 recite Psalms 27 and I was released from what happened.
CG- What does it mean to you to be a Bajan?
DA- I have no idea what it is. I don't feel like a Bajan. When we have our
 independence, I don't feel it. I don't know what it is. I don't really
 have that thing. I don't feel like a Bajan to be honest. I am an
 international person. I am very global. I think global. I don't want to
 say I am a Barbadian. I am this. I am that. I know you Americans say