GILLESPIE / DE BEAUVOIR


 veneer of Bajan masculinity glosses a deeply sexually ambivalent
 male population. Although Diva embraces traditionally feminine
 behavior and emulates prototypical female pop icons, she proudly
 foregrounds the masculine and intimidating aspects of her
 physicality when describing instances where she has had to use
 these attributes, particularly her six foot four height, in order to
 defend herself against assault. Diva's David and Goliath-like
 confrontations with authority are, however, the most riveting
 narratives in her interview. In these moments, the complex literal
 and psychological signifying she engages in reveals the strength of
 her character as well as the depth of her commitment to her
 startling, compelling, and persuasive philosophy. These episodes
 also reveal the enormity of the obstacles she faces.
CG- Let's talk about Barbados and your experiences here.
DA- Barbados, the land of pretense, the land of hypocrisy. That's what you
 want to talk about. To be a woman in Barbados is scary. We have a
 land here of people who go by certain rules .. certain laws that
 have been put in place in the 1870s. Laws that, to me, are not suited
 or compatible with the times that we are living in. I'm not saying that
 we have to change everything. I don't believe in that. I believe that
 when you see society going in a certain direction and things are
 happening negatively that you cannot control and being homosexual,
 gay, or whatever you want to call it in this country is like most countries
 I guess. It's a stigma, a stain on your reputation. It is a blemish. People
 scorn you. People heckle you and call you all sorts of nasty names.
 We all have a spirit. A soul. Our spirits are either masculine or feminine
 S. our spirits have genders too. That is the nucleus of you being
 female or male. But sometimes the physical side is not all there. It's
 like a key fitting into a key hole. Sometimes it doesn't fit. So there's a
 rubbing in that process. I believe strongly that my soul is female.
 Strongly. The way I think, never from a male point. But yet I can see
 from both sides. So I see both sides of the coin. I see the male side. I
 see the female side. That's why I have a certain balance. Most of the
 Gods that the Indians and things worshipped are ambiguous, bisexual-
 looking gods that to them is a completion or to have that dual thing
 going on.
CG- What is your experience of transgendered/gay life in Barbados?
DA- I live like this all the time. I get problems, but not a lot of problems.
 People get a lot worse than I have. I believe in being true to one's self
 and in representing the truth in a very moralistic and decent fashion.
 People will accept me eventually and say, "oh she is not so bad. "But
 we live in this closet. I don't believe in this bisexuality. They say