Visiting a perfectly capable of doing it themselves. The risk for any kind of
 teacher is that he is tempted to show off his own knowledge and
Farm skills rather than develop the knowledge and skills of the person he
 is supposed to be teaching. This is to overuse the transmittal mode
 of communication-and create dependence rather than independ-
 ence.

 Computing
 The computing line is an interchange of messages without any kind
 of emotional loading. It is a straightforward exchange of informa-
 tion. When the concern is the task itself-rather than what either
 of the parties feel about it-this is the line that is operative. The
 tone is therefore neutral or "businesslike". The image of a computer
 is apt because computers process information without any emotion
 coming into the communication!
 However, this line is not wholly positive. If you overuse it, you risk
 becoming dull and boring. Imagine what it would be like to spend
 a lot of time with someone who behaves only like a computer!

 Reacting
 When we are "reacting", we are adapting our behaviour in some
 way according to the people we are with-or in line with the
 circumstances. On the one hand, a Reactor is a polite person,
 respectful of the wishes of others. On the other hand, the Reactor
 can be reacting in a negative way, by complaining or whining.
 The difference, if we take examples of reacting behaviour in
 children, is between the child who sits still when his parents say
 that he should (using the directing line)-and the child who cries
 or stamps his feet. In both cases, the behaviour is in reaction to the
 behaviour or the assumed wishes of someone else.

 Venting
 The venting line is an unedited, spontaneous expression of feelings
 of pleasure or displeasure. It is the opposite of reacting in that the
 expression is completely without regard for what others may think.
 We commonly see such venting behaviour in very young children,
 before they have learnt the need to adapt to the influences of other
 people around them. If a baby is hungry it will cry-wherever it is.
 It is only later that we begin to control our urges to express
 ourselves according to our interpretations of what other people will
 think or feel about what we do.


Chapter 6