DON’T-
KNOW

‘How is it you don’t know? Did you keep your
eyes shut?’
‘Don’t know.’
Well—the king thought it was high time to have
his three daughters married. So he had them
advertised in all the daily papers :—

WANTED, three desirable husbands, for three
eligible Princesses. Must be of Royal
blood, good looking, cleanly in their habits,
and not given to chewing or smoking or
snuffing tobacco. Apply: Buckingham
Palace. N.B.—No post-cards.

The king was very amiable, and he said to his
daughters: ‘My dears, I positively don’t want to
force any undesirable husbands on you. I give you
free liberty to pick and choose and take whomso-
ever you like.’
‘Any one, revered father?’ asked the youngest.
‘Is not royal descent a sine qua non?’
‘So long as he is cleanly in his habits and person,
and doesn’t chew, snuff, or smoke, I will not insist
on that requirement,’ said the king.
Troops of princes came to London, all aspirants
after the hands of the princesses, and every one
was scrupulously clean, and none were devoted
to tobacco.
The king had them all trotted out in the yard
before his daughters, and the eldest chose her
husband, then did the second the same, both
desirable princes. But the youngest did not find
any to her mind, so she said to the king: ‘Father, -
may I have one of the court ?’
‘By all means—if cleanly in his habits, and not
addicted to the filthy habit of snuffing, chewing,
or smoking tobacco.’
“Will you have them all up?’ asked the princess.
So all the court was brought forward and marched
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