UGANDA JOURNAL.


 Besides this Bones was an omnivorous reader of magazines, particularly
of such as bame from America, and he was the kind of man for whom advertise-
ments are intended. This was the sort of thing that appealed to him:-
 "Missouri man makes 500 dollars in six months, in spare time! You can
 do the same! Cut out this coupon,' sign your name on the dotted line and
 post with remittance to-day!"
 Bones invariably did so, and thus involved himself in all kinds of corres-
 pondence courses, bought every possible kind of patent gadget and patent medic-
 ine, and in general took up with every possible kind of stunt. Here is a somewhat
 miscellaneous list of his interests, hobbies and activities:-
 (a) He was a great buyer of sweep tickets, and once actually drew a runner in
 the Cambridgeshire.
(b) In addition to the bag-pipes (above-mentioned) he bought, and, obliv-
 ious of the discomfort caused to his colleagues, endeavoured to learn in-
 numerable musical instruments. He also sang, and this too was not popular.
(c) He adopted a native toto, who, while still an infant, was appointed chief of
 one of the tribes, in much the same way as the first Prince of Wales was
 imposed upon the Welsh.
(d) At one time or another he studied either directly or by correspondence the
 following subjects: -archaeology, botany, biology, law, accountancy (in which
 he obtained a Diploma from an American College'), eugenics, astronomy,
 invalid cookery and home nursing, native folklore, psychic phenomena and
 mesmerism, civil engineering and mountain-railway construction, electrical
 engineering, short-story writing, Ihotion-picture production, and sociology.
 Perhaps his most remarkable feat was to learn aviation by correspondence
 in twelve lessons, without leaving terra firma or even seeing an aeroplane!
(e) After two months' residence in the Territories, he wrote a book on West
 Africa. In this of course he was not unique. He also wrote a play, and
 several film-scenarios, (21), and he even tried his hand at poetry.
(f) He imported a bull-dog.
 A special hut had to be built to house the junk that Bones accumulated. In it
reposed old wireless sets that did not work, and never had worked, volumes of
self-improvers, such as the 'Hundred Best Books' and innumerable encyclopedias,
discarded saxophones and banjoleles, thousands of samples, ranging from lino-
leum to breakfast foods, boxes of scientific and quasi-scientific instruments, every
possible kind of patent lamp, and a unique assortment of safety razors and
razor strops.
 In more recent times, Bones might have produced cast-iron solutions of the
various racial minority problems of Europe and devised schemes for the settle-
ment of Jewish refugees in Africa. He would certainly have learnt the Palais
Glide and the Lambeth Walk.

 (25) Here is one of his captions (with spelling corrected):-"Far from the hum and
competition of the busy world, the native goes about his daily tasks, under the watchful
but benevolent eye of the Chief Commissioner,"