iv PREFACE.


 THE DUKE OF NEWCASTLE thought they should ask the Head of the Government what they should do.
 LORD PALMERSTON, who was waked out of a sound nap, said-" Go to the De- "
 Yes-and then! Ye whose clay-cold heads and lukewarm hearts can argue down or mask your passion-tell
 me what trespass is it that a man should lose his temper if you tread on his gouty toe. Whip me such humbugs, say
 we to ourselves. After which STERNE denunciation we will explain that EARL RUSSELL had pressed LORD
 PALMERSTON'S foot under the Council table; and, after all, the remark which the noble Lord intended to make was-
 Go to the Dead Philosophers."
 The Council immediately adopted the plan. LORD PALMERSTON himself was to descend to the Shades (not in
 Leicester-square), and learn from the defunct sages the wisest thing to be done in the present emergency.
 A Hansom was chartered, and his Lordship, declining the company of MR. GLADSTONE, who was anxious to inspect
 the three heads of Cerberus, and have a few words with HOMER, stept into it, and was rapidly whirled down Parliament-
 street, which, as every one knows, is the shortest cut to the Styx.
 After a drive of some duration, the Styx (in the shape of a turnpike bar, which CHARON had the care on ") was
 reached and passed, and the noble Lord was ushered by a Fury, who was fashionably code with small Pythons, into
 the Halls of Wisdom-the abode of the Shades of the Illustrious Sages of the Past.
 HA! IA! HA! HO! HO! Ho! HE! HE! HE! HI! HHI!I! HA! HA! HA! HO! HO! HO!
 We are not laughing at the reader. The above cachinnatory monosyllables are a feeble attempt to type-ify the
 sounds which re-echoed on his Lordship's ears, as he flung open the door, and found himself in the presence of the
 COLLECTIVE WISDOM Of the Past.
 Sor.oN, SOCRATES, PLATO, PYTHAGORAS, TIIALES, ANAXIMANDER, XENOPHANES, DIOGENES, and all the wise men of the
Old World were laughing consumedly. Never were such chuckling, cacklings, guffawings, hawhawings, heheings,
hohoings, side-holdings, cheek-wrinklings, teeth-showings, and quizzable risible antics since the days of RABELAIS.
With some doubt as to whether he had not come to the wrong place, his Lordship, amid incessant roars of laughter
(to which, however, his Parliamentary career had accustomed him), explained to the worthies that the English
Government wished to learn from them what they should send to the International Exhibition of 1862, as the
masterpiece, not only of England, but of the world-the first-fruits of taste, talent, art, science, wisdom, excellence,
and inexpensiveness ?
 Then rose SOCRATES, and in a terrible voice, half choked by a giggle, exclaimed-

 "FTTUN!
The truest Wisdom is Wit-the greatest Philosophy is Folly-the mightiest Weapon of Mankind a Laugh! "


 .......--r---- ------- = ------ ;----'^- -.W.t- -'
[Our readers must not mistake the meaning of the initials in the corner of this block. They are not those of J-N M-LL-s-,
 but of MATTHEW JONES, our Pre-Raphaelite artist.}.