FPU TN.


SEPTEMBER 21, 1861.


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 Adolphlus:-ELLEN! FAIRER THAN THE FAIREST FLOWER! GIVE, Ou,
GTVE ME ONE INCII OF THOSE LOVELY TRESSES TO WEAR NEAR MY DEVOTED
HEART! "
 NauJhti! Cousin:-"DON'T, NELLY, DEAR. IF YOU GIVE HIM AN INCH HE
MAY TAKE A NELL "


 OUR OWN MANIAC.
 TIE Editor of Fux is surrounded by such an unpleasantly sensible, deep-
thinking, intellectual, logical lot, that it is with feelings of extreme gratifica-
tion ho is enabled to announce in his first number to his million readers, the
consolatory fact that he has, after the waste of much time in Hansom cabs, of
,utuch money in omnibus fares, of much invective in every variety of vehicle,
succeeded in obtaining the exclusive services of a fine, healthy, gibbering,
full-grown, full-blown MANIAC. Many maniacs presented themselves at our
office, imploring an engagement, the amount of emolument to remain with
ourselves, as in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred it would most decidedly
have done, for very few of them appeared worth their cell. But the model
mianiac, the pattern madman, whom the Editor had seen in his mind's eye,
appeared not. All were harmless, all were willing to be confined, all had
lucid intervals. But one bright afternoon an individual presented himself so
incoherent, so impatient of contradiction, so restless in his movements, so
dangerous to approach, that we were only too happy to rush up to the first-
door landing and arrange with him about terms over the banisters. Our
liberal offer he laughed at; we doubled it, and he smiled; we trebled it, and
with a howl of gorilla-like inharmoniousness, he seized a pen and signed his
engagement. He then commenced a frightful solo, seemed to be strongly
inclined for a round with somebody, but eventually retired from our office in a
mad-wriggle. This maniac is a great traveller, and promises to give us the
benefit of his wanderings weekly. We shall devote a half-column to him
hebdomadally, and he will never be admitted to see his proof on any account
whatever. Advertisers, purchasers, contributors, artists, and others, need be
under no alarm; he will never be encountered on the premises, and his salary
will be flung to him down the front area of his lodgings in Mad-dox Street
every Saturday.


 PLEBEIAN BALLADS.
 Adapted (for the fvrst time) to Aristocratic Oircles.
 No. 1.-THE BALLAD OF LORD LOTEL.
LORD LOVEL reclined at his club-house daw,
 Displaying his milk-white teeth,
He lisped forth Exthithtenth ith quite a baw,
 I think I thall go to the Eath, Eath, Eath,
 Yeth, I think I thall go to the Eath."
Then up drove the young LADY NANCY BELL,
 In the narrowest bonnet e'er seen,
But its scanty width was made up for well,
 By the breadth of her stiff crinoline-line-line,
 By the breadth of her stiff crinoline.
"Oh, where are you going, LORD LOVEL ? she said,
 Oh, where are you going ?" said she;
The which repetition, though perhaps 'tis well bred,
 Smacks strongly of tautologes-gee-gee,
 Smacks strongly of tautologee.
LORD LOVEL he lifted his languid lidth,
 And replied, "To the Eath, like fun;
Thothe jolly old thwells the grand pyramidth,
 Are thingth that muth weally be done, done, done,
 Are thingth that mouth weally be done."
"When will you return, LORD LOVEL ?" she sobbed,
 When will you return ? sobbed she ;
"In thixth month if I'm not murdered and wobbed,
 In that powilouth countwie-twie-twie,
 In that pewilouth countwie."
He'd hardly been absent a month at the most,
 Or it might have been just the fifth week,
When he met with some lines in the Morning Post,
 Which quite blanched his most delicate cheek, cheek,
 Which quite blanched his most delicate cheek. [cheek,
 So he travelled his fastest by mail and express
 Until he reached London town,
 And then, calling a cab, without waiting to dress,
 To Grosvenor Place rattled down, down, down,
 To Grosvenor Place rattled down.
 What there are the flunkeys in liveries new,
 The bells from the church gaily sound;
 His heart beats in terror, he seeks for a clue,
 From one of the crowd standing round, round, round,
 From one of the crowd standing round.
 "Oh, what ith the cauthe of thith wow, pwythee tell ?
 I'm weally motht ankthiouth to know."
 Said a boy, A hold swell's married LADY HEN BELL,
 And haint it no end of a go, go, go,
 And haint it no end of a go."
 Then he orders the door to be opened wide,
 And not any one's pardon he begs;
 But up to the breakfast proceeds with one stride,
 Interrupting a gent on his legs, legs, legs,
 Interrupting a gent on his legs.
 "Ekthplain thith pwoceeding atwothiouth and wong;
 Yeth, ekthplain it, moth faith LADY BELL."
 "That lady's not present, so pray go along,"
 Gasps a gorgeous, though elderly, swell, swell, swell,
 Gasps a gorgeous, though elderly, swell.
 She who was LADY BELL is now married to me,
 And has been so two hours at the least,"
 "'Twas your own fault, my lord, sighs the LADY NANSEE,
 But you should'nt have gone to the East, East, East,
 But you should'nt have gone to the East."
 MOwAVL.
 (Addresse: bA his Lordship, from th doorstep, to a particulturly derisive
 mob.)
 "All you who have thweethearth, take warning by me,
 When engaged don't go woaming about;
 Or thomr thuob will thnap up your LIAD NAXTIIHE,
 And your tesmpar anl nothe he'll pub out, oat, out,
 And your bothom's bwight hopes put to wout"