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 t i T~- "-T I' it not, we pI cy, (en- Strangely enough, lie grumnibles at this arranlgementl, dec'laring lie ,hall
 tic reader, save in a salta- never be able to get the sack."
 S lory sense, -namly, in These be our principal contributors, but we have others, minor
 -', delight at its lpugency iterrymen, who will rather astonishl you whlin you comit' in know
 a i m-...i""- and point. Now, then, them. But, be it understood, we shall glally receive tclirilltion
 1iK l'-T-, .... to be terribly 'ntuny,- (which we shall never return if not used), lor tiere is nothing like
 now for the primary new bloi" flor eepig FIN leire." You seN we an' S-urI get,
 ,I' -' plnnge,-- now to make on capitally with the support of such a salf; Ither shall be no
 4 'I.-y *I '-Ai ^'-._ ithe first joke, the pioneer- grumbling at the fair quality of ihe prosei or lie lse quantities iin Iie
 ing pun, the crashing nietre ; while as to the a iounlt weekly providel'd ifor pIllleny, is w'e
 -_ coinunldrumn which is to intend to wield our conductor's haton in tli most liberal manner,
 .clear the course, and rely upon it every one shall have his whack. In concluhsionl, \we oiver'
-_ -==- '.j,- ___. iwhichishlouldbe decidedly intend leaving oil. "' Iow yeo do go onl!" will resound thlroiiglhout,
 "out of the way." We the land, for there will literally be "no end of' FIIN." And now, !is
 *~'- -falter, we blush, we break the overture is finished, let us have a clear stage and lots of thyvour,
 ---.... down. The eyes of mil- down (with ycnr money) in fi-ont, ring up, and conltlllneo lor tile
 lions are upon us ; thou- season.
sands and thousands of throbbing breasts await it in painful expect-
ancy. We are not equal to the occasion, and for oicc we will be
serious, promising never, oh! "never to be so again." FEMALE CONGRESS FOR TH'IE 'lRMOTlIO'lN OF
 In these days there are but three recognized coins of the realm,- SOCIAL SCIENCE.
the sovereign, the shilling, and the penny. Other coins exist we
know, but we take no heed of them; the florin has long since come AT' the first meeting of this Association paper's woro read by tlio
to the ground, the half-crown is entirely deposed, and the once following members :-
flippant sixpence has become so punished hi its lengthened battle By the Ex-QUENx of N.ki.iis:-On 'Tolbuco,-- its Uses and
with the world, that it is a perfect anomaly, for although its counte- Abuses.
nance is exceedingly battered, at the same time it'shows no evidence By Mits. GAt.N-:-On Chits in General, and Young H ussies ill
of the mill. What may you not procure, and where may you not go, particular.
for a pound ? It becomes bewildering to think of the lap of luxury in By LAIIY i .cu-I,.:Tni :-On Woman's Mission and Lawlil Conjugal
which may loll the proud possessor of that noble coin. Then the Supremacy.
shilling; with that satisfactory sum in your possession, you may pick IBy Mus. M .tsitt. :-On the Rapid Spread olf abid Credulity in
and choose your pleasure with the unflurried calmness of a million- the 5Middlo Classes.
naire. As Guppy says, "the ole garden is open to you," and you may By Mv.tDmiIosE E ParT :- On Aeousl.t's, tand th Advantnges
take a comprehensive glance from the lowest walks of the drama to derived by Sound from Travel.
the highest seats of the opera. As to the penny, what with penny ices, By Miss EIri O'CoNxoO:- On frequent, ialhiug,--it,s Pleisiures
penny collars, and penny newspapers, it is but too evident that he is and its Profits.
the popular favourite, and now that FUN may be obtained anywhere By the Female BLONDIN :-On European hDpendciieies on t.lh
and everywhere for that sum,--now that the wretched misanthrope chords of Public Sympathy, and the Balance of l'ovcr as resulting
has a chance of making his miserable life happy,-now that the ladies therefrom.
may be certain of procuring "all the fun of the fuir,"-now that By MAD.AM FECiTEt :-On the Reflectionsinspired by tho Contlin-
capitalists investing in our Funs discover the advent of dividend day plation of a Romantic Village-or Hamlet..
once a week,-now that passengers by steamboats will find out that By Mts. STEAD:-On the absence of Splciic (;ravity in Beloved
the fun'll be necessary to their getting on,-now that omnibus riders Objects as observed in Domestic Sdances amiuong choice Spirits.
are certain to wonder how they have bussed so long withoutany FUN,- By LENOIA PEREA NENA:-On the lnflliuence of Songs and Dances
now, in short, that a "perfect cure," a penny-seer (small prophets on National Character, instancing Lilli-bohleo," lec.
and quick returns, say we), a universal nostrum for blae devils By MADAMEl GtISr:-On the numerous Advantages arising from
and other low spirits, may be obtained all for the small charge of Perpetual Retirement.
one penny,"-all the other coins current must admit its supremacy,
and be content to hide their diminished heads-and tails.
 And now our first blow shall be at a cowardly old custom. We COPYRIGHT.
scorn sheltering ourself under the anonymous, and boldly publish the AN ingenious manufacturer of conjuring apparatus has, we observe,
names of our contributors:-- invented what he terms "a magical life-like portrait" of Mil.
 PAN will give us a sort of Satyr-day Revicv. of Music and the SPULcGEON. This toy when placed on the ground, ie says, dances
Drama. gracefully, defying detection." This is an iijudicious annoullnceent
 MOMUS will keep his eye on the Parliamentary proceedings (he is on the part of the inventor, for it cannot be a life-liko portrait if it
staying in Wales, at Mirth-er Tydvil, at present, but will run up to dances gracefully; and as to defying detection, the individual in
town this week), superintend the metrical department, compose all question has been found out long ago. We are then infoirmed that it
the comic songs, and write all de riddles. is sent free by return for eighteen stampss" As, however, we may
 TOUCHSTONE, who is transferred from the Woods and Forests to obtain a genuine character for twelve, by applying to Professor
Fleet Street (much to Audrey's delight), will undertake to play clown 'Bilkingsop, we have no notion of giving eighteen for an artificial one.
to our most enormous circle-of readers.
 YORICK (those damaging remarks about him in Hamlet are untrue,
he is alive, and,-as the country papers say of the gigantic goose- DEFUNT De ll Y
berry,-" to be seen in our office") has recovered his skull from a THE DEFUNCT DRAfm F.--The disease which generally caries off
repentant property-man of the period, and is to be our sub-head-itor. dramr-drinkers is half-quartern ague.
 FALSTAFF is one of our real staff, and in consideration of his gene- Wi.rAT musical house should exclusively publish Bacchanalian
ral incompetency will "always be retained on the establishment." ditties?-Boosey.

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