FUN ALMANACK, 1862.


He offers his heart and hand to the servant of the
 establishment, and is referred by the lady to her
 paternal parent, YOKEL Can.WACON, Esq.


He proceeds to Hampshire to visit that noted agriculturist. and arrives onYOKEL CHAWBACON'S territory with
 During the latter part of his journey h, receives the offer unexpected rapidity.
 of a lift on the road,


Ms. POTTs having produced credentials of his
 pecuniary stability, his intended father-in-law
 signifies his full confidence and approval, and
 kindly borrows 20.


On his return be finds, to his dismay and horror, that during his
 absence his property has been swept away, and the inhabi-
 tants and furniture of the house have disappeared in conse-
 quence of the proprietor having put in an execution for rent


Being seized with despair, he rushes off frantically
 to secure a berth in an emigrant ship, resolving to
 complete his work on the Druidical remains of
 Central Australia at the place itself.


 FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.
 AnnRVALS.-At a sense of his duty-MR.
NEWDEGATS, who will retire into obscurity
accordingly.
 At the height of his ambition-Nobody
that we know of.
 At a decision-A Chancery suit. (We are
inclined to doubt it.)
 At the object of his wishes-A gentleman
who is consequently miserable.
 DEPARTUREs.--From Routin--Nobody in
a government office.
 From common sense-the county magis-
trates in a body.
 From the Law of Nations-The comman-
der of the San Jacinto.
 From his senses-The gentleman who
offered himself for Finsbury on purity
principles.
 From the truth-Everybody who says
FUN is not a Fun-d of entertainment and in-
struction.
 From this paragraph-Gracefully, its
Author.

 HISTORICAL.--TITus OATES, the perjured
witness, was placed in the pillory, and one
of his ears cut off. Hence the advertise-
ment, "Do youbruise your Oats? PErys'
young nephew, happening to meet OATES
'after this punishment, with great facetious-
ness and Christian feeling said to him,
" OATHs, my boy, a merry Christmas to you,
and a happy new year."
 WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY.
--This proverb is fully exemplified at
Doctors' Commons, where, if you want
your will, you pay a shilling and you have
it.
 WaY is the relative position whichIsling-
ton bears to Stoke Newington like a house
near the Burlington Arcade ?-Because it's
nearer Holloway. (Near a hollow way!)
 CisANso OF AIB.-To INVALIDS.-Alter
your wills, and leave all tothe Editor of
FUN. This heir is sure to agree with you.
 NoTE nY A MEMBER OF A GUILD.-A bad
frame of mind is produced by gilt.
 8*


The Amateur Photographer has taken the Portrait, and the opportunity ofbroaching
a tender topic.-NELLY'S REPLY:-"YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING WONDERFUL AT
LAST, COUsIN,--OB To 'VS PRODUCED A POSITIVE-NEGATIVE."


 A (N)ICE CHANT.
 TO BE SET TO "A NIPPING AND A EAGER
 AIe."
 I'm ve-e-er' co-o-o-old!
 My tee-ee-eeth cha-a-a-atter t
 The i-i-ice 'n m' ba-a-ath
 I mu-u-ust sha-a-atter !
 The sno-o-ow is, o-o-oh I
 Thi-i-ick on the pla-a-ain,
 I thi-i-ink d' y' kno-o-ow
 I'll go-o t' be-ed 'ga-a-ain m
 (The effect of the song may be enhanced
by a soft tremola accompaniment on the
bones).

 Curious FAcr.-Christmas, it is said,.
 comes but once a year; this is perfectly
true: but the peculiarity is shared by the
let of September, the 2nd of July, and
many other days, while modern science
teaches us that the 29th of February on
some occasions never appears at all.
 CHEss.-Our chess problems will be
omitted, owing to our worthy professor's
board being unfortunately in pawn for his
lodging, and his having no cheque to pro-
duce for its recovery.
 WHY were the Russians in Sebastopol
like sovereigns in the Mint P-Because they
were well milled before they were shelled
out.
 ALGEBRAICAL.-To find the value of x.
Buy a cask of treble X, the value of X will
be a third of what you pay for the cask.
 CorTINeaxTAi CRUELTY.-A French mili-
taire is often drawn as a conscript, and
sure to be quartered as a soldier.
 A sAILOa aboard his vessel in a storm,
may be accurately described as pitch and
tar.
 TUNE OR TrH PxPEe-MAIxKERS.-"Bel
Raggio," sung by the outside choirs.
 WHY is LEOTARD an expensive man?-
Because he is always taking a fly.
 BLUSa RosE.-The rose under which so
many improper things are done.


London: Printed and Published (for the Proprietors) by CHARLES WHYTE, at FUN" Offce, No. 80, Fleet Street, E.C.-December 19th, 1861.