F UTN.


[MARCH 15, 1862.


 YEOMANRY CAVALRY.

CORNET BUSBIE (OF TIE TURNIPTOPSHIRE HUSSARS) TRIES ON HIS UNIFORM. HE DOESN'T IEAR
 THE LAST OF IT FOR SOME TIME TO COME.


 PAN AT THE PLAY
 AN actress may necessarily be fond of onions, perhaps because she is
 on'y an actress. We do not admit the right of AIR. CHELTNAM to
 (H)arrogate to himself special knowledge on this point; we simply
 record the fact, that in his drama, A Fairy's Father, at the Olympic,
 he asserts the existence of this singular characteristic. But why
 should rabbits smothered in onions gastronomic smother unions
 matrimonial between actresses and young gentlemen moving in good
 society ? To enact that such a catastrophe should be entailed by
 eating duck stuffed with onion would be Drake-onian; but, od
 rabbit it! the penal edict promulgated by MR. CIIkLTNAM3 even sur-
 passes this in severity, and proves that he is either rabid himself, or
 a dull fellow who naturally shrinks from the presence of funny-uns.
 As a punishment for his aspersions on the taste of the ladies of the
 profession, he ought to be shut up in a room with a score of metro-
 politan actresses. He would be smothered at once by their glances,
 though I will answer for it that he would not find those glances
 sunny-uns: and at the expiration of half an hour, I would undertake
 to bring away in the smallest of carpet-bags all that was left of him.
 A Fairy's Father is a flimsy and foolish piece; but MR. F. RonsoN
 has made it a success by one of those marvellously finished character
 portraits which he alone, of all living actors, can produce; and biss
 FLORENCE HAYDON plays the onion-eater so prettily, that even her
 passion for that odorous vegetable would not repel from her any
 rational man. Her smile would turn garlic into ambrosia, and even
 deodorize the Thames.
 In the Life of an Actress at the Adelphi, MR. DiON BOUCICA'LT
gives us a very different view of theatrical manners, His actresses
are neither lovers of onions nor sage,-ducks though they may be.
One of them holds morning levdcs, at which she receives officers,
rouds, billets-doux, and presents ofjewcellery; another runs away from
the theatre in her stage costume before she has half played her part
on the night of her debut, merely because she has received a letter
from her lover, intimating that he wishes to see her. .Then we have


 WOODEN WALLS v. IRON.
 The Qpinions of the House of
 Commons, Feb. 27.
 SmI MORTON PETO
 Would put his veto
 On each wooden erection
 For assault or protection;
 He refused to rely on
 Any substance save iron.
 But the LORD CLARENCE PAGET
 Jumped up in great agit-
 Ation, and spoke
 All in favour of oak;
 For his part, he should
 Build his gunboats of wood.
 Whereupon MR. LAIRD
 Said experience declared,
 That till iron was used,
 And all timber refused,
 He had no hope at all,
 To see estimates small.
 MR. W. DUFF
 Pronounced this to be stuff:
 Iron boats he had seen,
 That would never keep clean;
 And when foul, they all failed
 To be steered straight or sailed.
 Then MR. LINDsAY
 Thought quite t'other way:
The wood ships he'd got,
That were useless from rot,
Not worth cost or labour,
He sold-to a neighbour.
At last, MR. BENTINCK
Said he never did think;-
And the House, it was clear,
All agreed with him here.
So the talking then stopped,
And the subject was dropped.


an exiled Italian duke, who is engaged as an actor at the Nottingham
Theatre, and who, when he expresses himself in his native tongue,
talks French, but when he delivers himself in English, speaks with a
strong Irish brogue. He cuts the gordian knot of the plot by adopt-
ing the heroine as his child, in accordance with the provisions of an
Italian law, which, he says, permits such a step when it is needed to
perpetuate a noble name-the young lady being already married, so
that this end cannot be attained. Finally, we learn that this damsel,
though she has become an English viscountess, is still to remain an
actress. Such are the romantic realities of theatrical life," accord-
ing to Mn. DION BOUCICAULT.


 THE ABDICATED JAMES.
 HE rose in his place in the court at New York,
 And, in his ancient style, he
 Began to lay himself out for work
 In "BErHAN versus RILEY."
 He pointed each sentence and weigh'd each word,
 And he plied the judge with flattery;
 And flushed his maiden American sword
 In a case of assault and battery.
 And he settled his tie and he cleared his throat
 The Federal Court before,
 And he thrust his left hand neathh the tail of his coat,
 As if a silk gown he wore.
 And tender Old Bailey memories came-
 As he rose to speak-in a flood ;
 And his eyes were filled with tears of shame
 As he called the judge my lud."

 A PITH-T REMARK.-The pythoness is said to be in an over-anxiouo
-ova-anxious-condition!


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