MARCH 15, 1862.] ]F U Ns- T. 2 53


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 "WHAT NEXT-AND NEXT?"

AFTBE GARIBALDI SHIlTS AND KNICKERIOCKCIi.S, WHIAT IS A YOLNG LADY'S DREss
 COMINJl TO ?


 ADVERTISEMENTS.


/] B. G.-Sinco your departure, the house
 Shas been burnt to the ground, your fthcer
has been taken up for beating his wife, and your
motherlhas never recovered the blow. With all this
we are happy und contented. Stay away as long as
you like.

LOST.-A HEAD, near the General Post
 Office. Any one finding it, or the senses
belonging to it, and forwarding the samet to Ianwell
Asylum, shall receive a reward.


TO EQUESTRIANS.-To be Sold, a Fino
 CHESTNUT MARE, 15 handa, and on all hlnnd
admitted to be a splendid animal. Also to be sold,
with the Marc, a strong iron lrhin for fastening her
to the stall, and an entire suit of steel nrniour for
the use of the groom in attendance. Only iarted
with because the owner caln nako nol use o her.

TO BE LET, with immediate possession,
 Sa ten-roomed house, situated in tho vicinity lof
 Hounslow Powder Mills. lTlie house has leren
 entirely rebuilt and beautifully decorated since the
 last explosion, whou the teinul was ejected without
notice.

1H DO, DEAR PAPA, buy me one of
 Bray's Traction IE ngine! Tlh'y will drnw
 ever so many hunudrcdweight alollg i turnupike road,
 and for moving timber or machinery they are in-
 valuable.

 TO PERSONS ABOUT TO TRAVEL.-
 Buy the Portrait of tle GORILLA, taken froin
 life; it is a capital joke, and persons travelling to
 the Land's End, the Hebrides, or the wilds of Gal-
 way, will be almost certain to flind somebody who is
 not aware of the sell.

 O YOU LIKE A NICE IOT MEALY
 POTATOF--Very Inmch. Will pineapllle
 jam, a few blue pills, a pint of trencle, a scoro of
 periwinkles, and i pound of nmoist Bilgar, it mlakeii
 a nical lit for ai aldermaln.

 T1AVE YOU SEEN ILONDIN?-No,
 S'lbecauoe he performs at Bichl an natonisling
 altitude that lie is (lqite inlvisible to the liked eye,
 but one of Bollind's celebrated gliiseln will ciiebl"i
 evey)odly to'aiintwer this world-wide Iluestioin with
 a satialiictory allirmnativc.


 SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.
 DEAR FUN,-I've been down (several times, by the way, in the
course of my ride-but no matter) to see the great Leaptonshire
Steeple-chase. My entertainer, who is very fond of sport, offered me
a mount to the top of the hill, from which situation I could obtain a
good sight. "But," said he, "if you really want to see it, I will point
you out a crosA country line, and you can, without any trouble, ride
with them." I jumped at his offer ; it wasn't the only thing I jumped
at on that day. He pointed out the line, which didn't appear to be
at all in my line, but I had accepted his guidance. Cross country I
should think it was, with rude huts and rough uncultivated manors.
I know that I was cross enough before the end of the day. Well, the
start for the chase was to take place on Monday in Quaggymarsh
Bottom. There were lots of people there who were all sold, as the
start was fixed for Tuesday in Copplethrop Meadow. I told every
one it was a wrong-day-view," as the French say, but they only
laughed. However, I had got the arrangements by rote, so knew I
was right. When the riders met, they were thus dressed : one
blue with gold; another gold without ; a third was black and blue,
he had been beaten several times lately; a fourth was green; a fifth
all reddy; two or three more wore different shades of orange, which
I thought a nice orangement. The signal was given, which, as only
one attended to it, proved a signal failure. I, myself, was notlooking,
for having made but a poor lunch, I was standing at the stall of an
itinerant confectioner who, while uttering a fulsome puff on his pics,
drew my attention to the false starts. I threw him a penny, was on
my horse in a second, and off again in another, for the brute began


kicking. However, there's many a slip between the stirrup, c'il), and
the hip, and in a few moments 1 had, like a Yorkshiro M.l'., taken
my seat for the Riding. At last, after a great deal of trouble, the
race began. For some little distance I was able to trot along quietly.
through a series of open gates, which was quite in my style. All
went on very well, until the third hedge, with a largo ditch on either
side. Here blue and black got a fall. Poor JEm! what a purl it
was! We then crossed a stubble field, and here it becomes neces-
sary for me to record several sad facts, proper to the situation, for,
as KING SOLOMON said, facts are stubble things." In the middle
of this field was a largo unexpected pool: here, I believe, two
or three ill-starred individuals lost their lives. I saw two riders
fall, namely, red on white, whip in hand. The spot was a very nasty
one. Well, after getting out of this, away they went, bucketing their
horses at such a pace as makes me pale when I think of it. We
neared the park railings, which an Irish sportsman riding beside me
observed was "the rail thing, me boy!" He, dctcrmined to see all
the fun, put his horse at it, cried hie over! and high over the rails
le went. I was much put to it whether I should put my animal at it or
no. She became very restive, so I rode on till I found some wooden fret-
work, which I thought if we didn't jump we could break through.
Just then I saw an opening, of which I availed myself; and by nuin
chance came on to the high road. Here I found that the race wiis
finished, with the following results: One arm broken, no other harm
done; one knee-cap injured, its owner much put out; three ribs
broken, I believe they were spare ribs, so it doesn't matter. Coming
home I fell out of the dogcart, which reminds me that I've got another
tip for the Derby.-I remain, yours truly,
 A TuI'Irn 'UIN lAMONS; TiE V)hINNERS.


VOL. I. I D