IMARCH 8, 1862.]


STUN. 245


 QUANTITY AND QUALITY.

 S the quality of the dresses
 and head-dresses now in
 fashion has been already
 severely commented on by
 analytic chemists, it only
 remains for us to treat of
 their quantity. As for the
 skirts-or rather out-skirts
 -of steel-hoopcd gowns,
 the stlent of their offelnce
 .against good taste is glar-
 ingly conspicuous. The
 head-dresses remind us of
 the Covent Garden basket-
 women, loaded with flowers
 and vegetables. What is
 the use of asking MAUD to
 "come into the garden," when she has such a nursery ground on her
 head ? or of talking about a wreath of roses" to a damsel who has all
 the variety of Kew Gardens round her forehead.


 ALMANACK AND DIARY.
 METEORILLOGICAL AND ASTRILLOGICAL NOTICES.
 HIGI WINDs.-The winds having fallen in circumstances, several of
 their cold-headed hurri-canes will be sold by auction.
 NA AL RESERVE.-Several planets have no objection to serve as tars.
 BY THE MUNDANE COMMIrTTEE.-Ordered, that several needle-women
 be employed to hem-a-sphere.
FRACAs IN HIGI LIrE.-There will be no eclipse this year; the Sun
 and Moon cannot be induced to meet, owing to their having
 quarrelled and kicked up a shine. The origin of this unfortunate
 affair is said to have arisen in some light words let fall by the Sun
 about the Moon standing in his light; on which it was retorted that
 the former took up so much time that the latter could never get a
 day out; the Sun then spread several reports in his own circles to
 the effect that there was a man in the case, which assertion she,
 the Moon, indignantly denied, saying that he treated matters too
 hotly; the further scandal, however, which said that the Moon
 was palo from being out every night, appears to be not entirely
 without foundation.
THE SrIGS OF TIIE "ZoDIC are not very favourable to the Chester
 Cup.

 I MARCH.
 2 Z Requiem sung over (until it's all over) those members of
 the Zoological Society who have suffered from taking
 in python.
 3 M Day for paying dividends (if any) by the Mutual Accom-
 modation Bill Society, first established at Borrowdale,
 Yorkshire.
 4 Tu Further Revival of Old English Sports. Throwing stones
 in a gin sling.
 5 V Publication of a new number of the F:N-etic Nuz.
 G Tit This day, at TATTERSALL'S, sale of four horses belonging
 to one of the Royal Humane Society's drags.
 7 F Gipsy parties supplied with hot water at any of the metro-
 politan police-courts. Apply, SELINA SMITH, Wimble-
 don Common, and other Drei Land.
 i S Game in tim Strand. Follow my leader, played by MRs.
 MIELLON and the members of Covent Garden orchestra.

 KITCHEN GARDEN.
 SPARE BEDS.-It is always necessary to keep spare beds ready; fill
them with strange plants and what-do-caul-i-flowers.
 Two nice vegetables will soon be in season; they are procurable in
the neighborhoods of Islington and Bayswater, known by the
inhabitants as Ncwington, Paddington, and Turnham Greens.
 SALAD.-In warm weather break you attic windows, and make
salad with the lattices.
 CUCUMBERs.-lf you want to rear these in your back (or rear)
garden, go out every morning and speak kindly to them. Persuasion
is always better than force. Depend upon it, if you use violence
towards them, they will, when they grow up, disagree with you.
 BROC-COLI AND MELLON-CHOLY are quite different: too great a
quantity of the former might produce the latter; but the one is a
vegetable and the other isn't.


CONCERNING AIY BOOTS.
 S I watch M.tAAl flitting
 lRound l anld roun thel room, I grown,
 Through the evening I've hlcen sitting
 On a rout seat, all alone
 Yes, ahliough T igeinrally
 L altz and gallop till I'm ill,
 Like a monarch li in L alli't
 1 alone am sitting still.
 S Would von understand thle riilllo
 Wh19y I'm sitting so forlorn ?
 Run a needle tlirouilgh tlie iiltil'l
 Of your softest, telnd'rest, corn.
 With a boiling hot, potin'r,
 S1oulticeo it witholou a 'frwii,
 Next, i ith ru111 ed ut' iii I-;riat',
 Rub it tgaily up iand do wn.
 With ta mllet smaruly tirike it,
 tGallop then l iti t ill your iwcNr ;
 Come anid t'll ie' hlv you likh' it,
 hIn a quarter of an hour.
 As I watch the -wrenth.s and fimath iors,
 How to whirl willi thonl I hloIn 1
 t iutl my demon paitl it, ;ilaiit rs
 S Keop me from tihe i usy throng.

 Oil to change tliem l'' IIithose liiilhn l
 Hlitppers, which I seri'edl ni ;i!
 As they say n'irs the channil-
 ~ llfi t' :&;i''il't' p))I'r c' iric l .u
 VWaltzing's one of life's elixirs,
 Ilow to join ii it 1 longe
 IIarrowing fourth en-aln-sixers
 HIave I. dono you ally wrong ?


 PAN AT THE PLAY
 LET me begin with an apology to Miss .1 i:ssil McIL:.;A, X, who imuit,
have been considerably startled by the intimidion which I wNal niiind
to convey to her last week, that she has suburb cyes." I wro'it
" superb," and your printeris respoihible for tho nlltralioni. l'Ierh:ps
lie meant to express his own privalo opiinioni tlint ihey were ey'i
which beCam(b)-er-well, and, in that cat I a, 1. ti quilto real y Io iidourso
his judgment.
 The bold lessee of the Princess's has opened a new school of thelology
and moral philosophy, the doctrines taught in which lhaive i, any raio
the charm of novelty. It is well that they lMvi thits mril, for ihey
possess no other. We learn, for the linit time, Itlt tlho Angol if'
Death has the power of bestowing wealth ind finie, ialtn1 giving iawiny
a young lady in marriage against her tlihter's will; furl her, thlt, thisi
same destroying spirit is an ilileltpndent soveirigin walkliiii
about and killing wlhomsoevor it chliooss, until Imclllnbody i-yl II
prayer, upon wlich it runs awaly through la brick wall, andl gorvs
straight up to heaven, though fin what, pu'rpolse doiesi not ipplelI r;
and lastly, that a matrionial nii onl lugtiin uinlir the lihlpi'est
auspices when consecratedi bY ils bles;iiug. lost lblks linv hillherto
hoeen under the impression that in;rriago Ihai more to do with the
other end of lilf, l,ut it seems that this is a nlliake. A crtlil ulr of'
viaisemoblance is imparted to a portitii of tlhe action bly Ilt lict tlhat
MIt. GEonRG JaiDAN is just the dismally liguirioius sort of I'person
with whom the Angel of Death would like to have a clihl,; ain it
cannot be denied that the scenery is good, the dresses fai .ltil, tlh
effects startling, and the acting, especially of Miss lMAlAutilo''r, Ali. II.
WIDIIco3111, MR. HASIL PO'ITBE,? and Ml?. .T. (G. SIolil.;, ailirable.
But the AIngl o f Midn ight is a piece which 1ielIontgs to a highly objec-
tionable school, and the nmaniier in which it, tlifl'e with tlh niist
solemn matters is absolutely repulsive, wholly apart from the abtluridly
false doctrines which it inculcates.
 Orange Blossoms at the Strand is a capital piece, combining the
rattling fun ot fare with the polished and brilliant dialogue of comedy.
The author, MAl. J. P. WooLI.Ei, has cleverly worked util, a good idlil,
and fair justice has been done to him by the actors, especially by Milt.
J. CLARK one otf the best impersonators of a certain claus of' grotIt li:'1
characters on the stage, and by Miss FANNY .Josei'is, wo is as clever
as she is pretty, which is very high praise indeed.


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