F UN.T


LMARCH 1, 1862


 LTOOIC BEEOR.1E -YOTT .LEA.P.

 THIS IS THAT GOOD-NATURED LITTLE EASYMAN, ACCEDING TO MRS. AND THIS-THIS IS THE CHARMING PERSON," MISS VIRGINIA
DE SELLINGTON'S REQUEST TO BE ALLOWED TO INTRODUCE HIM TO SCRAGGS.
A GREAT FRIEND OF HERS,-"SUCH A CHARMING PERSON!"


 POLICE AND PERAMBULATORS.
 DEAR MR. EDITOR,-It is only on very rare occasions that I con-
descend to trouble you paper people with my opinions. When I tell
you that I am a mamma, you will at once understand that my time is
very much better employed than in writing long serious letters for
you professional people to laugh at over your filthy tobacco and gin.
But the subject on which I am going to write is one on which I feel
very strongly, and EDWIN will tell you that when I feel very strongly
on a point, I invariably give expression to my feelings.
 On Friday last I read in the Daily News a police report about a
nasty rag and bone collector who was very properly fined five shillings
and costs for wheeling an abominable, old-fashioned child's go-cart on
the pavement, in the neighbourhood of Kensington Park Gardens.
He had the insolence to attempt to justify his conduct by saying
that if perambulators were permitted on the pavement, he did not see
why his nasty four-wheeled child's chaise should be turned off. As if
that had anything to do with it! But that dear MR. DAYMAN soon
overthrew the ignorant fellow's argument, by saying" that although the
law said that anybody driving any carriage on a public footpath was
liable to be fined or imprisoned, still if the policemen thought that the
perambulators were not to be meddled with, he could not interfere."
 Of course not! It is ridiculous to suppose that any magistrate of
gentlemanly feeling would order a policeman to take up a nursemaid
for driving a perambulator with two darling children over people's
toes just as if she were a common orange girl with a basket on her
arm, full of nasty cheap fruit. Everybody knows that when SIR
ROBERT CARDEN was Lord Mayor, he used to fine and imprison the
wicked vulgar fruit women who stand at the side of the pavement,
bothering you to buy their rubbish; but as that dear, clever Ma. DAY-
MAN says, that's all very well with the orange women and rag collec-


tors, but in the case of perambulators, it isn't the magistrate but the
policeman who expounds the law: the magistrate only administers it
under the policeman's direction. And catch a policeman walking off
(perhaps) a Member of Parliaments children and perambulator to the
station-house, to say nothing about the pretty nursemaid whom he
may be unwilling to offend.
 Kensington Palace Gardens. ANGELINA BROWN.


 A NURSERY RHYME.
 BAH! Bah! Python,
 Have you any eggs? "
 "Yes, kind keeper,
 That I have, i'feggs!
 One for BOMBALINO,
 And one for the POPE,
 But none for GARIBALDI, though he'll waken snakes,' I hope! "

 INNOCENT SIMPLICITY.-An old lady from the country, who had
been sadly terrified by hearing that cheap goods in London were gene-
rally adulterated, saw this announcement in a coffee-shop window:-
" The 2imes to be had at half-price." A dark suspicion crossing her
mind, she indignantly wanted to know "what stuff they put into it"
that it could be sold at a reduced rate.
 VERY APPROPRIATELY INDEED.-When a young man, who is court-
ing an heiress, raises money on his "matrimonial expectations," say
he not be said to be "billing and cooing" in more than one sense?
 WHY are'the East and West India Docks a contradiction in terms ?
 -Because they're a paradox (pair o' docks.)


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