FU TN.


[FEBRUARY 22, 1862.


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Jonec's Apolo.:j! for 1is ,infrnios behavior :-"WHEN ONE CAN'T SNOWBALL WHITE,
 ONE MUST SNOWBALL BROWN i"


 On, I love, on a merry May morning
 To see lovely nature unrolled;
 I love to see sunrise adorning
 The lawn and the hill-tops with gold.
 I love the bright dew-drops that glisten
 On lilies, by gentle breeze shook,
 And oh! how I love, too, to listen
 To the murmuring, bubbling brook,
 And I love the sweet lavrock that's soaring,
 With warble deliciously clear-
 Liquid music upon the car pouring,-
 And I love-oh! I do love-my beer.


 LET GO THE PAINTER.
 ONE of England's art-nobles has been
 arrested by-a tailor. May the thread of his
 existence be shortened! May he lose his first
 stitch, and anon find it in his side 1 May he
 be the perpetual victim of thimble-riggers,
 and be squeezed to death on the camel's
 hump going through the eye of a needle !
 The wondrous delineator who was long ago
 summoned to the courts of Windsor and St.
 James's for the exquisite manner in which ho
 put on coats of paint, was summoned to an-
 other court recently because he could not put
 on two execrable coats of broad-cloth. The
 action was a needle-less one-the gifted de-
 fendant being considered non-suited; the
 plaintiff was accordingly presented with an
 equal measure of justice-he was nonsuited.


 Wmncli is the most enduring trade ?-A
 cobbler's, because it is ever-lasting, and the
I solo is at the bottom of it all.
 WHy is weeping in solitude like the con-
 federate ship Sumter ?-Because it's a pri-
 vate tear.
 WHEN do trees resemble besieged garri-
 sons ?-When they are released.
 REBELLING AGAINST ROYALTY.-A IMace
 knocking down a King.
 PENNY WISE."-FUN 1


 ffadsionable EntIdligence.
 SEVEN DIALS, TUESDAY.
 ON Saturday last, Mas. JONES left her chwse powU laver (washing-
 tub) at 12 30 p.m., for a dejeuner & la couteau of onions and gin.
 MR. SYKiS (the celebrated costermonger) drove through the court
 in his light trap and donkey. We observed in his carriage several
 pounds of potatoes, cabbages, etc. As far as we could see (through
 the dirt), he appeared to be enjoying good health.
 The DISHONOURABLE M~i. BOLTER visited on foot the police-court,
 this morning, accompanied by police constables SMITH and THOMPSON.
 After remaining in conversation with the presiding magistrate some
 ten minutes, he was driven in the Government conveyance, in state,
 to the House of Correction. He will, we believe, remain there several
 months.
 There was a report that MR. SNon, of the Guards (Black), had
 washed his face. Wo are requested to state there was not the slight-
 est foundation for the rumour.
 The Shoreditch Chicken is expected to arrive here in the course of
 a week, his Government appointment (for ten years) having expired.
 His visit to this country is likely to be but of short duration, as the
 Government, most probably, will give him another colonial appointment.


 "FANCY SNUFFS."-Does she, indeed? Rather an unromantic act
 on the part of FANCY. We should have thought she had been more
poetical and refined in her ideas and bearing.
 A MA3NE DIFFICULTY.-May a policeman take up time ?


 TO ALDERMAN HUMPHREY.
 WHEN the fierce and fiery Mars,
 Threatens sons of war'with scars;
 When slow Saturn retrogade,
 Shows a time not good for trad ;
 When three planets all combine,
 To form the aspect called a trine;-
 Then-hey! cockalorum jig-
 Wisdom isn't in a wig;
Nor-hey! presto! Popalorum-
Wise decisions in a quorum.
But then-hixtum stixtum-we,
HuMPHREY, Alderman, shall see,
Through the pages he has slipped on,
WANTLEY'S Dragon, MOTHER SIIPTON,
MOTHER BUNCH, and MOTHER GOOSE,
Finding all their hints of use,
Backed by ZADKIEL, as the best
Discoverer of a Mayor's Nest.


A GENTLE PAT.


 MR. EDDnTUR,-Will yer answer me this question now ? Why is a
blight like a big potato ? Why? Bekase, ye thief o' the wurold,-
bekase it's de-vast-tater. More power to you! Whoop! I haven't
a card, but enclose a piece of chalk, an' ye can write my name down
if ye're minded.


-I


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