FEBRUARY 22, 1862.] I iF U .'


FARE AND FAIR.


 ELDERLY AND ILL-CONDITIONED FEMALE :-" Of course you won't
 believe me, but I did have a sixpence, and I've dropt it. It's in the
 straw somewhere."
 CIVIL CAD:-" Wouldn't doubt yor word for the world, Miss,-but
 there's a deal of holes in the bottom o' the 'bus."
 (I1l-conditioned Female is sold-and hasn't got the money.)



 OUR PRIZE ESSAYS.
 WE must remind the distinguished authors who are straining their
cerebral nerves to the highest attainment of distinguished authorship,
in the hope of gaining a prize from FUN, that the subject laid down
for them is FUN. Two or three competitors appear to have lost sight
of this original proposition. The gentleman whose Essay we publish
thfs week affords an almost extreme instance of departure from the
main theme. A single line, and that by no means complimentary to
ourselves, is all he bestows on us.
 The improvisation by MR. CH-s SL----N, on the different com-
petitors, has reached us, but we have sent it back for a few alterations,
which, with assiduity on the part of the poet, could be effected in less
than a fortnight or three weeks. Some of the verses already finished
are exceedingly happy in their frank and artless way of hitting off
the little peculiarities of gentlemen, about whom the public naturally
like to know as much as possible.
 But we are keeping our readers too long from their enjoyment of
the literary production which adds another bright link to the chain
that binds them.
 No. 10.-BY MASTER W-RR-N.
 (PurIL OF THE CELEBRATED GABRIEL RAVEL.)
 Behold!
 I am a Commissioner of Lunacy !
 SRather !
 I should slightly think I AM.
 This is young WINDHAM; he is brought before me in order that I
 may ascertain whether he is of sound mind, and competent to
 manage his own affairs
 OR NOT!


 Rolling, bulging, tumultuously heaving,
 Dusty and drear, fusty and feculent,
 These are the counsel's bags 1
 Gentlemen of the Jury,
 Respect
 Mr NERVES!
It has been proved that this young individual was in the habit, of
 driving railway-engines.
 How wonderful is Steam!
 Steam, and his Brother Gas!
The Printing Press is also an object of considerable interest ; for it,
 produced
 Tlh Lily and. fhI Be i
A work that was never sufficiently appreciated by a generation of
 FOOLS!
But which was recognized and approved by
 MR. 1M. F. TurrEit;
With whom I havo many points of resemblance, of which I pretend
 to be serenely unconscious ;
But who is a highly respectable man, and has a large balance lt. his
 bankers',
Which is not generally the case with the people who pailody his and my
 PRODnCTIONS !
 Such are tih writers in FUN!
 My style is well adapted to
 Advertisements;
 SAnd if judiciously employed every
 Now AND T'IIN,
 Would very likely bring in the sum of
 10,000 a year !
Man is of many races, and has divers ways;
Dutchman, Bosjesman, Aztec, Gaul, Milesian, Caledonian, Turkoman,
 Czcck, Rowdy, Bavarian, Slockdologer, Ilebrew, IBrilislIr,
 Greek, Slovak, Manx, Dane, Down-Easter, and others too
 numerous to
 MENTION !
 But the strangest of all men are
 LAWYERS!
 And the .tr' ..i.. lawyers arc decidedly
 LuNACY COMMISSIONERS !
And though I would fain avoid presumption, yet 1 never met will a
 stranger Lunacy Commissioner than
 MYSELF!
 Hold hard, there!
The Exhibition of 1851 was commemorated by
 This Child!
 And he takes the opportunity to announce,
 In tones unctuous, persuasive, fill,
 That ho will be all there again in
 1832.
 Look out, then, 0 Public, for
 The Billot and thi Lea!
 Price a crown.

 Gentlemen of the Jury, have you agreed upon your Verdict? Mind your
 EYE!
 I'm a looking at you!
 SIR GEORGE ARMITAGE!
 I hope I see you well. How is your general health, sir ? Yes.
 Keep a particular good look out for my
 NERVES !
 Don't hurry yourself, Sis GEOR:E; be calm, for there is still a con-
 siderable amount of property
 LEFT ;
 And the Law's majesty ill accords with the hurry of those who fly
 like an Indian runner of the woods,
 Such as DEERFOOT,
 The Seneca Indian;
 On whom I should be happy to hold another commission
 Do Lunatico Inquirendo!
 As I am sure, Gentlemen of the Jury, would
 You!
 For I am told that he has realized much coin, and it were a pity hl
 should waste it like
 Tmls YOUNG MAN.

 I quite agree with the verdict. Bless you, my dear and amiable
 Young Friend!
 But do not smile so, for it affects my
 NERVES!


VOL. I.