FU N.


[FEBIUA;RY 8, 1862.


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 (Scene-LEICESTERSHIRE.)
 I The hounds have just gone awayfrom a small gorse,-a large oxer" is supposed to be infront.
 SDia i de Melton:-" O! Ml. FJUNKER, HOW I DO ENVY YOU THAT DARLING HORSE! PAPA WILL NEVER LET ME HUNT EXCEPT
ON TIlS SOHEI, OLD MARE. I CALL HER GOVERNESS.' Ou I SHOULD LIKE SO TO CHANGE HORSES WITH YOU
 (Flunker deroutly wishes she could.)
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 (1,'lMcker der~oltlg wishes she cozslcl


THE LEGEND OF THE COUNTESS CORNELIA.
 )Dn you read the last case of spontaneous combustion ?
 Because if you didn't, I'll tell it you now,
 (f all I have met with, this one was the wust 'un,
 Winch, when you have heard it, you'll also avow.
 It appears that a Countess, who lived at Cesena,
 Which is in Romagna, has had this mishap;
 !nu if you look out for the place 'twill be seen a
 Lon'g way from the town that is marked on the map.
 The Countess, wholived as befitted her station,
 Had got to the age of some sixty and two,
 And CORNELIA, for such was the dame's appellation,
 Had gone up to bed as some old ladies do.
 When, lo 1 the next morn, as the maid-servant entered
 The room, quite surprised that all ringing should cease,
 She looked, and instead of her mistress was centred
 In midst of her bed a huge dropping of grease.
 Good gracious! what's here ? was her shrewd exclamation,
 Oh my and Good 'ivins," then followed be sure,
 As struck by the force of her first observation,
 She looked and she found some more grease on the floor.
 It's clear," she exclaimed, as the drops two or three, up
 She took, and put carefully on to the shelf-
 "My missis, the Countess, who often blew me up,
 Has flown in a passion and blown up herself."
 A Marquis, one SCIPIO MAPFBI, stepped in,
 And said, At the cause I can plainly divine,


 From the smell of the sheets that the Countess has slept in,
 She rubbed herself over with spirits of wine.
 She vanished-no pain-in a way instantaneous,
 And swift, Iperceive, was the Countess's doom;
 It's not the flat candlestick, but it's spontaneous
 Combustion that's caused all that grease in her room."
 You'll find the same thing from the earliest ages,
 And into "Bleak House if you happen to look,
 You'll see MiR. DICKENS devoted three pages,
 To prove that it happens by hook or by crook.
 But still if you doubt such combustible actions,
 And think that no death can occur to you so,
 Refer to the Philo-so-fle-call Transactions,
 We published a hundred and odd years ago.
 You there will observe without any abatement,
 The fullest account of the facts we relate,
 And which, word for word, will be found in the statement,
 You found in the Times of but yesterday's date.
 So to end with what's called by musicians the coda,
 By which a good moral I mean to convey-
 Prepare your inside with the tungstate of soda,
 If outside you use any spirits that way.

 CONUNDRUM BY A NON-SMOKER.-Why is a cheroot worse than a
cigar ?-A cigar makes a man ill; a cheroot, a man-iller.
 Wnr is the blockade of the southern ports liko DEERFOOT?-Because
it's always being "run."


London: Printed and Published (for the Proprietors by CHARLES WHYTE, at the Office, 80, Fleet Street, E.C.-Sat urday, February 8, 1862.


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