F U N.'.


[FEBRUARY 8, 1862.


 ALMANACK AND DIARY.
 ASTREILLOGICAL AND METEORILLOGICAL NOTICES.
 NOTICE.--IR. AIDA3fS'S Orrery will be given this year at MADAME
 TUSSAuD's Chamber of'Orrers, of which the lecturer has become
 an honorrery member.
 WEATHER PREDICTIONs.-The end of February will be warm or
 moderately warm, unless a severe frost should set in or the
 stormy winds should blo-o-o-w, in either of which cases to expect
 heat, except before a comfortable fire, would be at once pre-
 posterous and absurd. There will be rain. The days will close
 at half-past six, after which hour there will be no admittance
 except on business.
 NoTIcE.-The Day Break (with four horses) will start for Brighton at
 five A.Ma. on Easter Monday.
 THE VOICE OF THE STARS FOR FEBRUARY, 1862.-Naturally, a very high
 voice, but owing to a severe cold, is at present a very husky one.
 The voice, however, has managed to convey to us through
 Visper, the evening star, thie following predictions :-About
 this time persons brought up under Mars, feel home sick. The
 sign of Sagitarius is favourable to a narrow-minded individual,
 and to anybody who can say bow to a goose.
 To CAPITA.LISTrs.-During the year-look out for a good spec on the
 Sun's surface.
 To WHEELWRNOIGTS AND COACH BuILmns.-The Chariot of the Sun
 having lost a wheel, the large number of workmen desirous of
 assisting in the job are requested to employ a spokesman for their
 communications. Address, PH(E, 'Bus Office.
 FEBRUARY.

 2 First Sunday after Last.
 3 l Longest day, old style.
 I T | Another Revival of old English Sports. Book-hawking,
 with pages led by MR. HAWKINS, Q.C., and Ma.
 FALCONER, of the Lyceum, with his old quarry."
 5 W FUN comes out, and every one goes in for it.
 TrH The Dean of. S. Paul's-will wait from ten till four at the
 cathedral door to receive contributions of old postage
 stamps for papering the dome. By gaslight the effect
 will be fine;. the dome not only being over all heads,
 but all over heads.
 7 F Lecture on Binding Obligations and Hunting Coverts by
 Ma. MUDIE:
 8 S MR. BAZALGETTE starts a new Thames In-sewerance
 Company.

 ANSWERS TO METEORILLOGICAL CORRESPONDENTS.
 FATHrER DAILY.-You want to know how the days are lengthened.
 Very well. Listen: they stretch themselves every morning.
 No DD writes to us complaining that Clerks in Government offices
 are in the constant habit of taking days,' and says that if tihe
 practice is continued, there won't be a day left in the year." So
 much the better, NODDo; we shall then go everywhere and do
 everything in no time."
 BAR Ri MEATEAT ].-Raising the wind is not a figure of speech. Of
 course the wind can be coined; surely you've often heard of the
 air bhing resnt ?
 PtDDLEo denies that there are four points of the compass. He says
 that the one at homo, on which he accidentally sat, has only two-
 (nd very sharp ones they are. We are sorry for P:Dan,, but he
 is a donkey.
 Scoru.LEn-"P'lira om-ii, muris" is not the quotation you mean.
 PIri air oiiic!t paeris," which is (being translated), "Pure air is
 everything for children." ScoiLERhad better goback to school.

 ANSWERS TO GARDENING CORRESPONDENTS.
 ]FLOORER asks how he shall measr- his garden? Thus: measure it
 by the yard; walk round the uncultivated portion, and see how
 much it is round the waste. Send the result to your tailor.
 AGRlKUzLLER..- Meditate before digging. Before turning the soil over
 with the spade, turn it over well in your mind.

 THE POULTRY YARD.
 SThis is a source of great amusement and profit. There is great art
 required in fitting up a place for fowls. A nice, light, cheerful
Sdrawing-room paper is necessary, with a proof print of JI.L CRow and
henything else you like. After procuring your birds, wash them well
in hot water, and when they are in feather they will be very lively.


On hearing a hen cackle, you may cacklelate upon her laying an egg;
on which you can lay anything, and are safe to win.
 THE STABLE.
 Tie your dry toast up to the racks. Whip cream daily. To pre-
serve morality among your grooms, tell them never to swear when
they take their oats. Prevent them from using chaff towards one
another, and encourage their musical tastes by teaching them the
corn-hay. If you are going to keep your horses in town, apply for
stalls at Westminster Abbey.



 THE CRYSTAL PALACE.

 AVING arrived at the
 t f ( very Ultinia T7 ule of
 poultry shows in their
 I e 'o collection of singing birds
 last week, the Crystal
 (Palace Company have
 e determined to give a
 SGrand Show of "Rium
 S Birds" and "Extraordi-
 TE Tnary Creatures" early in
 the season.
 Among the various
 sights we understand
 that the white-headed
 eagle-better known as
 the American Eagle-
 Swill show its white
 Feathers. The hunting
 i counties will contribute
 some "rasping bull-
finches," and the South African Cctmpiny a canary, that can sing
"Jolly Nose." We are informed that the officer commanding the
65th foot (stationed at Birr) will send his cat to the Palace, if it can
be spared. A Roebuck, found running very wild in the neighbourhood
of Sheffield, has also been promised; a space has been allotted to it
close to the mew of the Austrian split crow," or double-faced bird
of prey," caught in the environs of Warsaw.
 The most extraordinary beast in the exhibition, however, will be,
we imagine, the Howling Gorilla, from the Tabernacle wilds in Surrey.
The gibbering and the semi-human actions of the animal, in conjunc-
tion with its remarkable aptitude for getting up a tree at every
opportunity, cannot fail to interest the visitors to the Crystal Palace.



 LITERARY INTELLIGENCE.
 "THE Three Gates in Verse," by MnIF. CIIAUxcIerY HARI E TownSEND,
are thrown open to the public. The Three Gates are very well, but
]how about the style ? The poetry has a swing in' it that points to its
adaptability to music, and would, we think, suffer no hingery if set in
five bars.
 The Principal Roots of the Greek Tongue ]have been well taken
in hand by the learned author of the book bearing that title. There
would appear, however, to be little radical difference between the
"roots" of the Greek tongue and of the Greek tree, and the slips "
of both would seem to be tolerably plentiful.
 "Logic for the million" is the ambitious title of another new
publication. It is very well to chop" logic, but the process becomes:
"mincing" when the subject has to be dished up for the mental
pabulum of a million.
 "The IHouse I Live in," a description of the human frame and its
anatomy, has suggested to certain enterprising tailors a title for their
hand-book of the latest fashions in dress-" The Lodgings I Occupy."
It is not true, however, that a supplementary volume has been added
to "The ITouse I Live in," called "And the Tiles I put on It," by
LiNcoLN BENNETT, author of the Sensation Novel, "Who's your
Hatter ? "


 MIGHT AND MIAIN.
 By O E OF TIHE M3E Or THE Ci NADA IEINFORCEMIENTS.
 IN SEWARD it's very polite
 To grant us free passage-that's plain:
 But if things had turned out as they .nijht,
 We should not have turned into iMainc.


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