FUT NT. 201 UBJUGATING the wildest and the fiercest animals forms the delight of I bold and enterpris- b Il ingspirits,forwhose n a benefit we intend to t give, under the S above heading, oc- S casional hints based So -upon our own long Sk experience. We .also intend accom- Spanying the hints .R withanecdotesillus- -... trative of instinct. THE HoRSm.--ARnEY SUPERSEDED.--O to your stable and grin through a horse-collar at the animal, occasionally giving a hoarse laugh; if he snorts, say quickly, "That's naughty and he will be quite ashamed of himself; avail yourself ofthis opportunity to jump on his back. He will now move his tail wildly; be prepared for the emergency, and sing the "Merry Swish Boy!" He will be affected to tears; now is your time: ask him the celebrated riddle, "Do you bruise your oats ?" He will be unable to answer, and your task is complete. The most savage horse can thus be rendered quiet as a lamb. ANECDOTE OF a PERIWINKLE.-aIR. BROWN, well known in the large manufacturing town of S---, returning home one evening, found that his wife had prepared for his supper a dish of the finest periwinkles. Being much inclined towards this delicacy, he partook heartily of the cephalopods. On retiring to rest, thinking he heard a noise down-stairs, he descended to the kitchen. The noise, which sounded as if a body of some weight was being dragged across the floor, rather increased than diminished upon his approach; at first he could not see from whence it proceeded, but after looking carefully about, he perceived two periwinkles (who had escaped from the general destruction) laboriously engaged in dragging a salt-cellar towards a small tub of water, evidently intending to preserve life by making for themselves a miniature likeness of their native element. Seeing that they deviated from their straight course, MR. BROWN watched them narrowly, and saw that their ddtour was caused by the presence of an ordinary pin, dropped probably by one of the maids. On his kindly stepping forward to assist their endeavours, the two little creatures raised themselves to their full height, and, with a gentle mur- mur of gratitude, partially took off their shells, after the manner of a salutation. After a short course of judicious and persistent training, MR. BRowN succeeded in teaching them to run on errands, dig in the garden, build a small hothouse, and make themselves generally useful. They have already saved up a sum sufficient to pay their fare by rail- way to any of our watering-places, should their old love of sea return. THE HYmNA.-The training of this animal requires some little application and great seriousness. Show him a number of FUN, and wait until he has thoroughly exhausted himself with laughing: then read to him three pages of TUPPER's "Proverbial Philosophy." This will have a stupifying effect upon the hilarious animal, who may then be led away and placed carefully in an aquarium. Here plain diet of water gruel and chops will have a soothing effect. On the fourth morning he will of his own accord begin to sing "Rule Britannia ;" when he has reached this point, all further instruction will be com- paratively easy. Of elephants, lizards, armadilloes, serpents, and other domestic animals, we shall treat on a future occasion. *** THE STUNNEL.-A zoologist writes to ask us what sort of an animal is BRUNEL'S Tame Stunnel? And further, where is a wild Stunnel to be seen? Zoologist is misinformed. Thames Tunnel is not an animal. MAGNANIMITY. THERE was a report in Paris, a little while ago, that the EMPEROa had met with a slight accident while out shooting with MAaSHiA MAGNAN. The Marshal had fired too near the EMPEROR, and a portion of the charge entered the imperial body. Now this might have resulted in a very strange coincidence. MARSHAL MAGNAN took charge of the coup d'dtat of 1851. Ten years after this, his imperial master took charge (in shot) of MARSHAL MAGNAN. If the result had been serious, would the enemies of the empire have designated the act of the Marshal as Magnanimous ? CAPER SAWS. -OW did % ou enjoy that ball at L.-"n 1. (Iti.\'s :so I Sa's the other night ? A Smonstrous atlair truly, miy dear FU IN, like all such parties now-a- days; for as you know it is the general complaint, iual one which j I causes a great ouilry against IIta bawls of the season, that tIl're are' no new dances. 'Th polka, dis- carding the too-poinling step, is taking to its heels, n11 gradually S disappearing from polite socirly. The deux-temnps is t1 dance of S the day, 'or, rather, of the night : bgallope is still the movement. for B -5^ .-- which wvUeak-minded young niri -=-- -. oxcuso themselves on thle plea oI' giddiness, though in good truth tle giddiest, ones are those who nuost enjoy it. Quadrilles are still the refuge for the destitute, the test of a partner's conversational powers, and an excuse for coiupllcs engaged fifteen deep to sit out and enjoy a quiet flirtation in the conservatory, or some place where"it is so cool!" A needless old country dance, the "only one more, for which Papa MlsT stop," appearing quite ouI of place in a modern London fashionable ball-room, ends the tevll.i- chorean list. What a delightful variety! I send you a plan ifor in owr dance, something real, lively, sparkling. 1 can just give you an itlca of the music, in the modern tens of choralie minstrelsy. I call it the Bandana, or the Steps of Tartary." Each gentleman selclt two ladies as partners, and having obtained a vis ,t vis (any numh'r may dance), the step commences. Music, fourbars: "Rum, tin, tiddly ti tum, turn, turn, tur ti tiddy, tiddy i tur, ti tiddy," etc. Gentleman bows to each partner, and retires within himself. The two ladi.es advance bta gallop, and then polka back to places; the vis 1a ris gciitle- man in the meantime makes faces furiously, wlile his plart.ners Inno11 round him grotesquely; all bow and assume attitudes. The two gentlemen then advance money to one another, and balance their accounts. All shako hands, and, having been carefully blindllbldild by the master of the house, whirl wildly round Itlo room until musio ceases. I think that this will be one of the most elegant nil chliur'a- teristic dances that has appeared for a very long timo.--- retinin, sir, yours truly, I).N SINU. Hop Gardens, Kent. FEE! FIE! FO1 FUNI How doth the little Q.C. boo Employ each shining minute, By pocketing his client's fee, His purse, and all that's in it. MEDICAL EXAMINATION. Q.-What treatment was successful in the case of MR. JONATHAN'S insanity ? A.-The lowering treatment. Q.-What other course might have been followed if this had nut succeeded ? A.-A dose of steel pills (Armstrong); (gun) powder; and close con- finement (by blockadee. VERY FIN.-.-A contemporary devotes some space to the follow- ing paragraph :-" As a proof of the mildness of the season, we have had forwarded to us a parcel of snowdrops, primroses, and other flowers, which were cut two days ago." If, for the mildness, we substitute the severity of the newspaper season, we will swallow tie news, and admit that the flowers were cut-by the frost. THE FEDERAL E'IDEMIc.-It appears GENERAL M'Cl.ELLAN has been laid up with an attack of fever aggravated by Iomnopathy." It's the old story over again. At Bull's Run the army was suillering from a severe indisposition-to fight. That they retreated pell-mell to Washington was no doubt owing to the fact that the indispositiln was aggravated by hoen-ceopathy. THIs villainous cockneyism was smuggled into print between two bank-notes and three o'clock,-A.M. : Why was Tucesdy morning, the 21st inst., like FUN ?-Because it snowed (it's knowed) all over the kingdom, and also abroad.