FEBRUARY 1, 1862.]


P IT %N.


 ALMANAC AND DIARY.

 ASTREILLOGICAL AND METEORILLOGICAL NOTICES.
BANKRUPTCY AcT.-The Sun, having disappeared rather under a cloud,
 was pronounced as in-Sol-vent.


ing for the purpose of Lhbollinug tlih dill'ronl.t plants as they an' ',
brought in. There is no charge finr .... I ..,. tiei.
 GRAMMATICus.-Thlero is ino "x" il the word ullh. As ii lthe
other word, it is pronounced :a.- spelt, and you inmay spell it liow vyou
like.


BJ URDEROF THE CLERK OF THE I EATHER.--rioeZ COatS ill be worn RECIPE FORI A rR.M INK IN N (COLIIlATIR.--lix iogetler e( 11:l
 during the frost, and every one will dine off skates quantities of finoly-powdered clalk, resin, and brick-dlusl ; get to
Should there be any more severely cold weather, tickets for a grand andkeep up stirr dissolve l';iriii
 snow ball will be issued at the FUN office. (a cake or two) in hot water; cover the wholo will a calbbage-let t,,
AERONAUTIc ExpEDTl-oN.-During the following week, several Scotch- keep it fresh; stand upright until qnite cold, when drink suIrrepti-
 men will meet in Ayr. tiously.
Warm lining required for the clouds during cold weather. The above Winter G f Ch .
 must be made "fr asnd wide." .To DISCOrER ANYBsODY's AG,.-A Winter Gamne for Children. As
 must________________________ e in what year the person inquiring wa,; born; divide it by t\vo: onl
 JANUAR the quotient to itself; subtract the result fi-om tlhe current year; mil
 Then don't tell him.
 26 ( Grand gamoeat ninepins between DR. TAIT and SAMUEL PINCUSHION.- Thiis is another capital winter gmnie for' boys. When
 of Oxfords for two bowls of bishop. your father or any elderly gentleman is aslep in his clair after dinner.
 27 M Meeting of Surgeons at Lancing College, Sussex. take a long pin, and run it gradually and gently into the call' of his
 28 Tu Running match between two noses (cold weather per- leg. When he cries "out," the next player will get in for it.
 mitting). CAPITAL ROUND GAME FOR CHILDREN.--Ioop.
 29 W FUN "comes out," and is taken to parties in numbers.
 30 Ta An off" day.. Good day to make a start in life.
 S31 F Lawyers assemble on Primrose Hill to see the end of
 Hilarv Term. NFW MIICSI.


 FEBRUARY.
 1 9 Rejoicings as usual.

 ANSWERS TO METEORILLOGICAL CORRESPONDENTS.
 NEW BEES. -The first month of the year is not July. Perhaps one
of our readers will kindly give you. the required information.
 TOOZLES.-NAPOLEON I. is supposed to have invented the plan of
putting up your umbrella when it rains.
 A SEEKER AFTER TRUTH.-The degree of cold of a frozen pond can
now be scientifically ascertained by a sliding scale.
 JoNEs.-The ice on the Serpentine is supplied to Government (by
contract) from MR. GUNTER'S, of Berkeley-square.
 MITE.-The theory of the Moon being made of green cheese exploded
with NEWTON. HERSCHEL and others have since tried to ascertain
some facts connected with this luminary, but being unable to make
any discovery, a detective has been employed by Government.
 TIIDM TonI asks us if chilblains are catching? Yes, of course they
are; why not ?
 A SHIVEREn inquires, "Is this cold weather to continue?" We are
not at liberty to mention.

 KITCHEN GARDEN.
 Attend to your lettuces until they are perfect pictures," then plaeo
them- in frames; take your young carrots out for a walk, regardless
of their screams, which might touch the heart of a cabbage. If your
rising vegetables suffer from birds and slugs, load your gun with the
latter and shoot the former. Sow boiled eggs for salad, and place
composts and four-posts over the beds.
 FLOWER GARDEN.
 Plant sea-anemones. Take up old roots; if they make any resist-
ance, get a policeman to take then up for you.
 SPRING FLOWERS.
 Wax roses fired on elastic wires' will make excellent spring flowers.
 WINDOW GARDENING.
 If at a loss for this effective style of horticulture, close the shutters,
and don't trouble yourself.
 HINT FOR YOUNG GARDENERS.
 Flowers are apt to be very fresh in the morning ; in this case take
them out for exercise, and let them run to seed; after this exertion
they will be all "a blowing," and thus exhausted, will give you no
further trouble.

 ANSWERS TO GARDENING CORRESPONDENTS.
 DITCHuI wants to know "how to make a hedge." Very simple:
 bet three to one on the favourite for the next Derby, and take two
 to one on him. This will be a very green hedge.
 PoPPr.-A chaplet of flowers for the head is very pretty; a little
 box on the ears has also a startling effect.
 Two-LIPs.--Of course the Stock Exchange was built that floricul-
 turists might assemble and exchange their stocks for roses, geraniums,
 or any other flower. The LORD MAYOR sits in a corner of the build-


 I Y an advertisement we see that a new nud
 pretty ballad, the production of a MhI. 1'ow(I..,
 has just been published by Me. W. O) Vu1 of
 Old Bond-street, entitled MAetig and I'rt l-
 ing." We hope there is truth in tlIh report, l lintI
 Swe are to be favoured with a companion song
 S by the same author, entitled easingg andl
 SBrushing."
 S "Morning on the Iloor" is the nmce of
 another new song: we suppose that it is ai
 very dark morning, and dedicated to M1i.
 FECHTER as Othello.
 "Comic Songs of tie Times," proll;ly Ilith
 lealors in verso: we may soon look fir
 "Canzonetes of the 1 Asij A'ly 'cs," "Jouminds
 */ of Bell's Life," aud Hymns of Ith lIi'rrdl."
 Thle following clmnenhily rules fIr si inglig
 will be found of great use tlo tlie young ihgiilner.
 F-or practice, whenever you go init a Ih lp vilng
 S- the scales on the countor. Play wlist regiilirly
 in order to learn hlow to count, a point. Ifl
deep voice is your object, drink a pint, of BASS very day. If a IVice
like that of MARIO'S is to be cultivated, never I Itkl ay niotil below I
"tenner." Be careful to open your chest ; for this puIrpoite slerct n.
good key, and try LocKE'S music.
 ----------- *

 COURTLY, BUT UNCOUIRTEOUTS.
 PERHAPS a month ago, anl iilneniollu contributor sent us four lines,
in which Timbuctoo was cleverly rhymed. The Clrt .oiutnal of the
18th inst. informs its limited circle of readers t11it, "ai i onliitllt
mathematician-a professor of the University i()' l ndoln," being
challenged to find the rhyme in question, promptly replied with the
lines given by us, which the C. J. is leased to call irreverentn,
verse." It would havo heen colrtcout ill our coiiitllp oratry i onf (erllH
that it had condescended to pay a penny for us,. :ll ti stlral whlnl,
was worth considerably more thml that Hum1. To ignore thi souiir
whence it derived the quatrain was to confess to ;Ia eedlcss.jealohuiy.
We do not aspire to be a funny paper in tlhe aino sense that, the
Court Journal is.

 DEIYTOR AND CREDITOR.
 ClATrTEIRTO of 1lARRIS;- ] ITAHitS ) CIA 'I:T'I (,
 Broke, gone to Paris. | Nose pulled, and Silatt'l '.d


 DE LUNATICO INQUIRENDlO.--If a certain Masteri il inllay wePr
returned as insane, why would he b') like panr of a game preserve in a
park ?-Because he would be a rabid WAtII:tuN.
 WHrY is a man ivho w lllq secii a young goatI asle('i likely give' illn-
telligence of a stolen child ? -lecatiw lie has srle: kihd i]iJ;iing.
 JM3EAN TIsMPERATIRIt.- -A miser's tectotalisln.


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