F-UjNs.


[JANUARY 18, 1862.


 --- THE NATIONAL DEPOSIT BANK.
 A. ONG the names of the original directors
 i of the National Deposit Bank, of Mutual
 --C Assurance notoriety, we find,-MnR. JOHN
 -_ BLUNT, MR. JOHN ELIJAH BLUNT, MR. R.
 I_ _ScUaR SCOWLER; and they seem to have
 subsequently added a MA. ROUGH.
 ,I 1 Telling names are of the first importance
 .- on the directory of a public company: and
 next to Lords or Major-Generals, we think
 that the Mutual Assurance gentry could not
 have got a better selection.
 SAIII A brace of JACK BLUNTS,-honest, sti sight-
 I I forward fellow! Who does not feel con-
 il, I. fidence in his outspoken, if rather coarse,
 I expression of opinion? But one of our JACK
 '5! I,- BLUNTS is more; he has added the name of
SiELIJAH, to give to his native rugged honesty a
 Sr flavour of white cravats and serious sanctity.
 fIt might be called the BLUNT directory, and,
 of course, no one would suspect them to be
 sharpers: besides such a directory would not
 be likely to cut. To all inquiries as to their
 i- capital they might truly answer that they
 o had plenty of BLUNT. R. SCUsR SCOwvLER,-
 useful name to frighten troublesome de-
 positors who might be induced to make them-
 selves ridiculous by expressing any doubts
 as to the safety of their property. The dread
 of MR. SCOWLER'S withering glance would"
 keep them from prowling about the offices.
 As to MR. Rouve, we presume that he would
 be in the same none of your nonsense line,
 and would be supposed to handle those
 whom the dread of MR. SCOWLER'S frown
 failed to appal.

 ADVICE GRATIS.
 To Creditors.-Don't vex your customers
 about their "little accounts," because the
 more you stir them up, the longer they take
 to settle.
 To Mothers.-If a child be choking with a
 piece of bread, the most effectual remedy is
 to take the bit out of its mouth.
 GETTING UP THE COMIC BUSINESS.
 "Now I'TS NO USE YOU A-JAWING AT ME, MARIER. I HAINT A-GOING TO HAVE MY BUSINESS How is it that sailors always do with the
DICTATED BY ANY ONE, LET ALONE THE LIKES OF YOU!" anchor the reverse of what they mean to do
 "WHY, I HAINT A-JAWIN, NOR YET A-DICTATIN'. ONLY wnAT I SAYS IS THIS, NED;- themselves ?-When they are going to stay,
AFTER YOU HAS KILLED THE OLD WOMAN, I MUST HAVE TIME TO FINISH OFF MY pas they hook it; when they are going to hook it,
PROPERLY BEFORE THE PERLICE COMES IN." they unhook it.


 A SOFT ROE.
 STAGGERED, you will doubtless be, my dear MR. EDITOR, by my
running into print, but I can't help it. Perhaps I may not be able to
run for such a long time as that other little deer, the Colleen, but I
do think that when I want a day's peace and quiet, I oight not to be
sneered at by the leading journal, which said videe Times, January 3,
1862) :-" HER MAJESTY'S STAG HOUNDS.-The deer Glendower was
selected for the occasion" (much obliged to them for the preference, by
the way). The run was indifferent, owing to the reluctance of the
stag to leave tho woods." Reluctance! I should think so. I had
been shut up in a sort of bathing machine, been jolted to pieces in the
conveyance, had a dreadful headache-just under the antlers-from
the noiso of those abominable dogs and horses: and then it was
expected that I should run along for their enjoyment! No, no; catch
me (which they ultimately did). I obtained a snug -corner in the
wood, with a good view of the field; and though I laughed at their
disappointment, yet I wish it to be generally understood, that I had
no wish to spoil sport, and was really too unwell to amuse them on
that occasion.-I remain yours, good-hartedly,
 GLENDOWER (the Court Stag).


 WHEN may it be supposed
ladies' dresses will soon disapj


that the rage for a particular colour in
pear ?-When it's on the mauve.


 LOUIS NAPOLEON ON THE ICE.
 THE EMPEROR-I've seen it stated-
 The other day went out and skated.
 The following story, whether true
 Or not, I will relate to you:-
 Said he,-" Tho' 'tis not in my line,
 I'll try to cut an eight and nine
 Upon the ice." But though he tried,
 The glassy surface him defied.
 His friends, who were allowed a view,
 (Doubtless with cold) looked rather blue;
 But he, with his accustomed grace,
 Resigns to FOULD the awkward place ;
 And says, while modest Monsieur sniggers,-
 My friend is such a hand at figures."

 QUERY BY OUR SLOVENLY YOUNG MAN.-An enterprising tradesman
in Cheapside exhibits several sponge baths in front of his shop. Not
contented with this, which is in itself an insult at the present inclement
season, he displays a placard with the inscription :-" Use the bath,
and preserve your health!" Does he mean preserve it in ice ?
 IN case of an accident to M. BLONDIN, it may tend to re-assure the
more timid among his admirers if we remind them that he got over a
fall many times at Niagara.


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