JANUARY 18, 1862.]


FTUUN .


 ALMANACK AND DIARY.
 ASTRONOMICAL AND METEORILLOGICAL OBSERVATIONS.
THE MooN.-The silvery rays of the Moon have been electro-plated;
 the keenest eye will be unable to detect the difference.
To ELIGIBLE SPINSTERS.-The Man in the Moon, erroneously supposed
 to be a confirmed bachelor, would be happy to meet with some
 lady possessing considerable personal attractions and real property
 (castles in the air not objected to), who, by accepting the hand of
 a gentleman in his elevated position, would ensure to herself a
 comfortable home, and charitably relieve the monotony of his
 highsolated existence. Address M. M., Lunar-crescent.
The Fore-Quarters of the year will be from January to June inclusive,
 the Hind-Quarters from June till December.
The Golden Number for this year is Number One, of which great care
 must be taken.
HIGH WATER AT LONDON BRIDGE.-Stand on London Bridge, and
 eat a spoonful of strong mustard; this will make your eye water:
 don't forget to note down the time when it occurs.
During the month there will be a grand match at draughts between
 the North and East winds.
LUNAR INFLUENCES.-Sleep in a field on a fine moonlight night, and
 you will probably catch a severe lunar influenza. On the 1st,
 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, order every-
 thing you can think of from confiding grocers, butchers, bakers,
 tailors, hosiers, hatters, and bootmakers. On the 1.3th, 14th, and
 15th, borrow as much money as possible from weak-minded
 friends. On the 16th and 17th of the month, and for the
 remainder of the year, travel.


12
13 1MA
14 Tu

15 W
16 Tit
17 F
18 S


 JANUARY.

This Sunday will be strictly kept till wanted.
Plough Monday. Good day for sending boys to Harrow.
Observatory, Greenwich. Season tickets admitted to
 obtain a view of the day after to-morrow.
The public receive a new and good impression of Fu-.
Strike of lucifers.
A bye-day. Good day to sell.
Lightning conductors appointed to the City omnibuses.


 FRUIT GARDEN.
 Prune your plums; plant your apples in pairs; destroy your neigh-
bour's grapes, giving him your raisins for so doing; plant gooseberry
bushes for the current year; take somebody else's nectarines (if bettor
than your own), and tell your gardener not to peach. Tie up weak
branches, and then stem the tide. Take your spring shrubs to your
tailors, and have them measured for new shoots.
 KITCHEN GARDEN.
 Shave the heads of your celery in case of fever. Stitch your beans
if not already sown. To secure a good crop of anything, the best
way is to wait until you see one, then, if you can, secure it. We must
caution the young gardener against a very common mistake, i.e.,
walking round the garden every morning with your eyes blindfolded,
and then running the roller over the different beds, is not the best way
of rearing seed potatoes and vegetable marrow.
 FLOWER GARDEN.
 Caocus.-Should a crow cuss in your garden without cause, fine
him five shillings; this will probably drive him raven mad.
 Window gardening is a great source of amusement during this
month. Put your camelias in pots, open the window, and place them
outside; shut the window, laugh and nod your head at them;
when tired of this, open the window,'take the pots in, laugh heartily,
break a chair, ring for the servants, and go to bed.
 ANSWERS TO HORTICULTURAL CORRESPONDENTS.
 KIDNEY.-Planting your potatoes in a row is not an adoption of
the ro-tatery system.
 GREENs.-The vegetable kingdom is divided into male and female.
An instance of this division in tobacco plantations is the existence of
she-roots in contradistinction to he-roots. Some are of the common
gender, a good example of this last species is the overland root.
 CELERI PEDE doe- not mean a head of celery, nor did the Romans
measure that vegetable by the foot.
 A CONSTANT R IDERi.-Don't bother.
 AN ADMIRER OF IOUR PAPER.-A gardener should mind his peas,
and a billiard-marker his cues.
 NooOrD.-You are liable to an action for libel ; it is an insult to
the British army to designate any of our soldiers as a scarlet runner.
 Two IN A Busu.-Is there a training college for creepers?-Of
course there is.


PAN AT THE PLAY.


 i, k ; R. IZl. IiCK STONi'E should be
 | || crowned poi'.t-lnur';ate of tihe
 ', ,, | nursery, 11 has aI; i\!ys a ponem
 ; ,'[ / 'as a pretty story ifor tle childlnh'.
 This year he h'a\ lhr. liltting-
 toa and Mlh's. lhubbdl to their
 "cat and dog lif'e,1and, avoiding
 alikedonmiest ie scen'taiiidsceneory,



 \ohogav0olllis(,r.N ni h had-
 0 ~.-}" liDS.- "seeks frsli tshihlsl inld pastrCes
 I >i 'T (l ( new in rur al lit'. Liko that
 i i" sweeyollt ldls'ibet'iiii biy (All!AY


 0 a tear," 1he hs drivIen his team
 l. / a-field. Miss ji.g's joys anfd
 Swoes are his Ilhosnlele. '" S l sits on
 a tuffet, eating 'ciids itnl whey,"
 wh whent a 1vile lsider, \ ho had
 eospiod heri a slOrtl o!' VINCtENT
 Culnc CeLuit, in falcl l mies her
 in his web. ller fat is sealed,
 when, lo! she is resuedil by an
intelligent personage in bluo-not X 1 ; the spider is brought before
the judges, who, if unsorted, are still of a size, and till ('i 0i.1i.iri spider
is committed. MR. lBUCKSTONE has troatled his Igclll Il)potically. 110
has not forgotten that tlhro are children in (Ihe iworlI, school T'lis
and BILLS to be satisfied, and little fairies iln blixos, in frolt, .:s well as
behind the curtain. llo has thought ol' tlho lhlly ldays oI (' lihristmas,
and has written a capital child's pantomiLin. In hiymiing l he poetry
of Hym-ettus and its bees he has boon well assistld by Blit. FEINTO'N.
The scenery is tastefully designed, but is not, iequa l in cxcriution to
its originality. The transformation scene is, hliwvvi'r, a tr iinili.
Little Boy Blue is very intelligent, and Miss .I Ill iln'Cdnees coiitally.
 At Covent GardenI lto management will sI'v, tliio pltlilc "nlot
wisely but too well." 1Itt. HARRISoN fills tile lwl lof 'ljiy' li cnlcit to
overflowing, and would have his audience drink wilhi :i litite stint an
ROCIIESrER. There is moderation, "look you," us hoi esl It 'it IluI,L,:N
wouldsay, in all tllings. It certainly is to dlo bnlt s:tilt juslti'o to Illh
merits of a very pleasing opera, of a good Htory, intl Ito lhe vocal
attractions of the house, to place the opora bnlilre ia lil)unlinmo. T']ho
audience becomes wearied bc'olro the eonl frozen p'o at iinty. The
pantomime is founded on the adventures ot (CAr' AIN LEMUEL
GULLIVER. The veteran PAYNEI-and PAYNE is sHrely iOio "of the
ills that flesh is heir to," that are always r'felrredi to ai s "(thi
everlasting hills"--has been engaged Ilo allnord Ilca:isulri to thi big
and little children who delight in pantomimes.
 This pleasure, through PAY N.,, is of old dldt, 1b t is litly ns full
and complete as it has boon in tinios gone Iy. Some of t he incidents
of the opening are marked by tho most gKroi'ltesqi linimor, tI ha of t1i,
haulling in of the fish as an instance. Tlh seono wit h the children is
certainly a proof of their training and drilling, bul, is iiirmewllat long.
The opening part of the pantomime, save lthat it, robs tih
harlequinade of much of its zest of coinicality, is, liowover, fairly
interesting, whilo the transformation tableau is a Feen never to bo
forgotten. It is a combination of rainbows, and 1p'a'I'Ck's frlethorH,
and polarized lights, and fairies, and wonderful shells, sOI(ni through
a monster kaleidoscope. How they are all flung together cannot bo
told, but the effect is admirable.


 MADNESS v. MATHEMATICS.
 IT has always been a difficult task to conim to a clear decision in
 cases "de hna.tico." On behalf of Lho MAi.tsnr L sI'ai ml Ii is Civil
 Service Candidates, we protest against a test, of hanity whliicl, in the
 WINDIIAM case, has been applied bty two doctors, imiinily, I ie fiHst
 proposition of Euclid. If an inabilityto repeat Ihit, ptroblilit correctly
 is a sure sign of insanity, the wholo University of' O(xf,rd is in danger ;
 and the heads of all tie colleges would have to be hliav(.d. 'Not, that
 we should objects to that so much, wore it nol, t,hi;, oln Ih othlr hand,
 the whole University of Cambridge would stand a (lInnII( of biing
 declared sensible and rational-and that notion wo (:minit coulnte-
 nance.

 A DIVIDEND FROM Tri CRYSTAr, PALAC.-- BiNDI,N I:!:4 ; givn lip
 for the present thi l]offy ropo fior the low rie. 'I'I i. ily fir
 tile winter, when the sun shines so soldomrl ftliroiuII tl.h' t.hli'lr dIay,
 that the lofty rope may be called the lictIIp-lhighlcr o(n I licrlh n sunl
 ever sets."


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