JANUARY 18, 1862.] FUN. 175 SONG FOR THE THRONG. OR, VERIFICATION FOR THE NATION. No. II.-THE BALLAb OF SECULAR SCHOOLING. RAGGED little unlearned lad, Was playing in the street, When there SaMan of Sense, (A thing ou don't often meet.) My boy," said She," come and learn of me, i t For knowledge To v is very sweet. SAnd I will teach you your A. B. C., m o-ear o And Arithmetic as well, And how to e a_. c write a legible hand, And how to read and to spell; And a little grammar, in spite of all That friend JOHN BRIGHT doth tell !" But to them there came a lanky man, A lanky man and a lean, And the little lad and the Man of Sense, He thrust himself between : He'd a sable coat, and a wisp round his throat, That was meant for white when 'twas clean. And said he, Good friend, would youp teaching tend To give him right doctrinal views ? Because if you do not our chapel's plan For your mode of schooling choose, I must, on the part of this little one, Your education refuse " But, ere the Man of Sense could reply, Came another clad in black, A collar of cambric circled his neck, And he wore a long casaque; And his voice was one of those gentle ones That have a persuasive knack. And "Brother," said he, your teaching will be Of the Romish faith, I hope, And this child will earn to honour the name Of his Holiness the POPE, To whom are trusted the mighty keys That set heaven's portals ope !" But, 16! ere the Man of Sense could speak, Came a third one, sable clad, And he, like the two that came before, Laid a hand upon the lad, (Had it come to a pull for the ownership, The boy's look-out had been bad). And said he, Your educational plan Springs doubtless of good intent: But, of course, who teaches the poor, must-teach As bids the Establishment. That the church should rule this, not the laity, Is a thing self-evident!" Said the Man of Sense, "I intended to leave Religious instruction alone ; For 'tis hard to decide,"-here the three broke in, And, with one consent, gave a groan ; "You should teach"-they cried, and began to expound Their systems-each his own! Then tile Man of Sense he sighed, for lie saw How the trio must fidl by the cars ; And "Between you three, when you jangle," said lie, Woe betido him who interferes But what on earth's to become of the boy, While you are measuring spears ? " So the Man of Sense and the three in black, They left that little lad To play in the streets; and whoso was the sin, If he, after, went to the bad ? For another person, also in black, For a schoolmaster he had! And that one chuckled, "The pious three Have laboured to gain my end, For 'tis not a difficult task to mar Where none will take trouble to mend. Who first a little knowledge' declared A dangerous thing was my friend. "Who would interweave their own doctrinal views With plain educational rules, Who cry, Our lessons or none at all!' Are a set of purblind fools; And those, whom a secular teaching might ravo, They send to the Devil's Schools." TO BURGLARS, AND THOSE WHOM IT MAY CONCERN. T is said that those who copy the jTimes can do no wrong. Woe t.lere- foro copy from the colminnm of that invaluable paper the follow ing descrip- tion of a new species of dark lantern. S We address the paragraph, moreover, to that class, for which only the 'Times could have intended it. Who except BILL SYKES would be bencfiled by the -i minute directions for thle mnniniflketre of this burglarious bijou? 11 was live __ _-;_- inches long, only half that in width, *?-_-" with a piece of wire for a handle, while ----_---- -'=_ the hole for the light to shine through was only the size of tlhe il)rrel of an i.O' ordinary quill,"-a gooeeo quill, and S plucked from the pinion of the T'imes reporter, if lie gave ,hii ci enrofil de- scription with any other opinion than that lie was putting houso- breakers up to a dodge." Surely the editor of the Thundercr should order the prnner of the Divorce Court cases to take the police reports under his wing too. Nothing that Sin CRESSWELL CRESSWELL ever heard could be much more improper for publication that the passage we quote. HINTS ON ANIMALS. THEDoG.-HOW TO TRAIN HIM.-Rub him over carefully with train bil; tie him up securely in a corner of the room, and show him what he is required to do. Animals imitato with grout iicility. Placo a bit of meat on your nose, toss it up and catch it in your month : repeat this several times, and the dog will try to imitate you. Thrnw your stick into a corner, and fetch it in your mouth ; then (lie him out of doors, and having fastened him to a tree, repeat I lie process in the Serpentine. (N.B.-At this time of the year, a rembclr