JANUARY 4, 1862.]


F 'UT T.


 .CYNIC EFFECT.
 UN, enough! :Listen to
 the words of the Cynic.
 I am the man for a
 S Christmas party. Like
 over-eating, I disagree
 4 with everybody. O
 / m b thther of a family,
 n"/ warming yourself in
 English fashion; O
 Trrr1es, standing bo-
 fore the fire which you
 shade with your broad-
 A spreading coat tail, let
 mo squat onthe mantel-
 piece, and while you
 paternally gaze on
 IT D ICKY, ToM Y, HARRY,
 and ANGELINA playing
 ,I f before you, let me hiss
 in your ear, "Christmas
 bills !" Shuddering
 o -e B TITYRus, with your
 back to the fire.and
 S eyeing your posterity,
 listen to the:'Cynic:-
 As a tree may fall
 by a woodman's axe, so
 a man by a tradesman's bill.
 A running account at your butcher's and a galloping consumption
 at home; these two things give a father pain.
 As heavy to light, so is the pocket to the heart; here the sad ex-
 tremes is the product of the pecuniary means.
 Remember as you sit at table, fingers were made before.forks, and
 cutting words before knives.
 A spoon cannot help itself, yet is it made use of by others.
 The Cynic to the Flatterer.-The fool says of a beautiful woman's
 cheeks that they are like peaches; the wise man applies the simile to
 her mouth, seeing she can never keel) a secret.
 To the Pop.-" Parva, coanponere nmagnis."-To compare the waist of
 a fop's body with the waste of his life.
 To the Beau bent with Age.-Gray hairs are unsightly in your eyes;
 they shall not for long annoy you; come months, come seconds,
 morienduo est; you must dye.



 NO "SMALL FRY."
 Ta directors of the Great Eastern have booeen accused of very
 queer cooking in various matters. Now, they have really out-dono all
 that rumour ever reported of them. We are told that the great ship
 "is shortly to be put upon the gridiron at Milford Haven." Hlow a
 vessel of her length is to be shortly" put on anything is a puzzle to
 us, we confess; but our wonder is still greater when we contemplao
 in imagination the size of the gridiron which will be wanted for
 cooking a sea monster so "very like a whale."


 NOTES AND QUERIES.
 DEAR Fux,--Hlloe was called, I believe, the Ettrick Shepherd..
That is true. Thank you. Am I right in supposing that he wrote
his poems with a sheep pen P-Yours truly,
 JUSTICE BURNS.

 PLAY.
 BELGRAVIAN mothers are quaking with fear
 Lest GLADSTONE of VliRON's proposal should hear,
 And levy a tax upon "matches;"
 For then, they are certain, their daughters may all
 Determine directly to thropv up the ball,
 And look out no longer for "catches."


 [ADVERTISEMrENTIN.]-365 REWARo.--Lost, a ycr, somewhere
between the 1st of January and the 31.s of l)ccembe 1P-;1 ; it ]hli an


 SOCIAL REFORM.
 THEn annual mooting convened by Mu. S MITI iln Iis lodging-s it
 Somer's Town, fir the purpose of carrying into eoiet. eert a1in inmprove-
 ilents connected with his own sorial and sanitary condition, took
 place as usual oi tein morning of the 1 stof lJanuary, itii. SMI I'i in
 the chair. leaving called together his thio'lhits, and iiddrssed himself
 in a very impressive ianuiner, the following resolil ions were arriiol:- -f
 (1) That paper collars should, in the opinion of the ntorling, he
 forthwith adopted by all who wished to eonullipalte tl'timsrl\ es troiti
 the thraldom of the washerwoman. (2) That smoking and drinking
 should be fortlhwith given up as very expensive :iud possibly inj irionll
 practices, and ihat the latchkey and late hours should .ble alsHo abnin-
 doned friom that date. (3) That the accounts should be hliienefeorth
 looked into with more regularity, and cerutn in arrauigenwilts lldeo
 with reference to a greater economy being practised bfr the) ful ue'.
 MR. SMIrTI then thanked the chairman for the alltenion hoe Ihd given
 to the important subject under discussion, and the breaklhst ('1up,
 which with the lips of MlR. SMITH constituted tlhe ni oet.Iig, thl n I
 broko up, through an accidental collision with the sugnr basin. 'Tho
 same evening another meeting was ehld ln I ho Jolly S:andhoys," in
 the neighbourhood, when MR. S.irru was\ also in 'lthe cair. No
 reporters wero present, ltut we hear thnt several speeches wvre mnltli '
 and that the meeting did not break up till lato thlo following norning,i
 when the chairman was carried homo with the usual votu of thhauks.


 ANOTHER IRISII VICTORY.
 WE all remember the glorious victory Sat.ir. O'(BIEN obtained tlio
 day he ran away from the police in the filunous fiehl of cabbagesc.
 And, of course, we don't forget the lato ietroing of heo lnationul "i
 partyat the Dubliun Rotunda, with the O()'DI)NONUnUIE in tlh chair whenI i
 the boys hurraed over the insult to those English liag. Well, then,
 here's the O'DONOGnUE 0lading the wlay 'to victory Ilgiinl,- 0ilr l11
 writes to the committee, then appointed, to say that lie witlhdlrInw
 from it, seeing on reflection that it was t little too hasty in its resoil-
 tions, and cannot command the confidencO of the country." Erin go
 bragh Holloa, boys, here's another victory over the Saxon!


 SURGEON'S LAST-AND PROBABLY I1IS WORST.
 THIS unlearned divine has been (to quote from a lpragralph which
 he or his friends no doubt set a-going) sowing broadest in (xfordl
 and Cambridge," that farrago of nonsense ani irrevorenro which Ith
 is pleased to style his doctrines. Two thousands copies of his FormnIII
 have been distributed to undergraduates in tlh streets like ntir-
 prising tailors' bills alnd the cards of (p1ack ilocitors; and a voluinie bha
 been sent to cacl resident [.A. Tlhis is in coiint.rlistilletitl Io
 throwing pearls befbro swino-placing liogwas lih before eciatd n1ll
 intelligent beings.


 Qurri TIME.--"Wautled, lltroo *.Il. .... 11 t canvaLH town I'(r
 STUuSs's Mercantile Ollices,"-so says tloe spplonimont of' the Tii es.
 If tlis STUIUS be the same person of elluponioiis linmn wlhom1
 SERJEANT BALLANTIINE described as 1 Ir1es repilliti]blo C(ll'iriii-tr ill-il
 FIELD, Of the Private Inquiry Oflice, all we can say is, that it, is l igl
 time he should advertise for a "genthleman." T'liho rticlo 1ustIii ho
 much required at the offices, but we fear the adlvertiseoinln is likely oI,
 remain long unanswered.
 STRANGE IF Tiltt :.- It appearss that tl litl Il i. I WII hA ,: t iist
 (tlhe brbtliher' of the la-dy wliho Stowed Iawniy lot 1(' -iilltinil, ill i
 "UncleTom's Cabin") ihas been pireacin;i, in New Yorlk on tli'
 rebellion," as the YankeeI call it. Th11' 1Irv'rInIl geollti'Inn
 strongly prot ested against any e(Iiiacipiation If thI sliavi by :i't of
 Congress! Can lie have hlad a 1Cottln lantation btIiwlfhad It him
 down southl"
 A Goon S(;N.-The Austrianv Gazetfie annolunces ll it 11 l'l flr t 1st
 of January, 1]8i2, it will assume the litle of t11 A-I,1riI, Contiilii.
 tional Gazclle. 'The liberty of the press abrolll is so "'cril)id ailin
 confined," that it is pleasant ito see a paper inllivid ii, tlaki even "a
 constitutional."'
 ANTIQUI'A.NI AND CLASSICAL, RESEAI{fll. -Wlirll ofl' thie ]llnlln
 Ely': : rs rolw upo1 io 1 o()]p of ;l, (conveyancfl o? AI}'II'- n ()]nv,'f!no t
wv '', 'ho hIistory of Romo will ilnmodlintely answer, Tarulilniuis .1uper-


very wasted appearance, and forms part of ;!i ill -1 lii ;. ,ny one I us.
finding the same and forwarding it to Mil:. Ioxo'rIII; HOPIELESS, A s Tcn-Tl.FS PUN.-Why areo lifers iid Eliglishiin lik -
Lotus Hall, Letlhe Walk, Mouldsy, shall receive the above reward. Because they both fire upI when struck.


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