____._ _I_ _~__I___ _______I_ ____ ____


 INTOT A. DOTTBT 0F IT.

 Self-denying Old Squaretoes, who has taken out the boy (with a running rein) to see the "find: "-" No
YOU KNOW, GEORGEY, MvY BOY, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN HERE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN WITH THOSE HOUNDS.
 Boy aforesaid:-"JUST EXACTLY WHERE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN IF you HADN'T BEEN HERE, PA!"


 1:0






I


 ANTIQUARIAN SOCIETY.
 'THE annual meeting of this superannuated society took place three
days ago (of course, old style), when, after the usual amount of old
alo and elder wine, the following interesting papers were read by the
members:--
 MR. GRITTY announced the curious fact that ARCHDEACON DENISON
belonged to a primeval race; for, in his (the learned speaker's)
researches, he had discovered the fossil remains of many gigantic
Denizens of the Antediluvian forests. (The speaker resumed his seat
amidst immense cheering.)
 VICE-CIANCEILOR PAGE WOOD, as a member of Lincoln's Inn, was
happy to announce the discovery that Soi.lwOoN had built the Temple.
(He was immediately removed by Ml. SAMUEL, WARREN, the Master
in Lunacy.)
 MR. METHUSELAH CHIPPS observed that steam, as a motive power,
was well known in the first two thousand years of the world's
existence. (Every one was delighted to hear it, and the eloquent
professor sat down much affected.)
 MR. NINO CiIYoris said, there was no doubt as to the pre-Adamite
existence of Ethiopian serenaders on tne left bank of the Tigris;
while exploring that region, it had been his (Ma. CHEYOPPS'S) good
fortune to fall in with the original Bones. (Here MR. MIORTON and
MR. WESTON of Canterbury and Oxford Music Halls, who happened
to be passing the door, rushed in, and drew the last speaker aside
into a corner, where an animated conversation ensued.)
 DR. JOWE'rr (who appeared in a very old coat, in consequence of
his professorship not being sufficiently remunerative for him to get
into new habits either of dress or thought) wished every one a merry
Christmas, and was proud of belonging to the Antiquarian body,
which, he could inform them, had its prototype in the world's earliest
history; this fact came under his observation during the course of


studies to which he had devoted himself previous to writing his
contribution to the "Essays and Reviews;" he alluded to a long
account of the first meeting of the Ark-eological Society. During the
first thousand years-(at this point, seeing that the members had
fallen asleep, the respected Greek professor walked round the table,
emptied the tumblers in a most learned manner, and then left the
house.)
 A vote of thanks was subsequently passed to the waiter and
the policeman, who saw the several antiquaries to their respective
homes.
 Before they separated, another meeting was definitely fixed for
some time or other.


 SIMPLE SOLUTION OF A PAINFUL PROBLEM.
 CAN you tell me how was it
 That the Bank of Deposit
 Its depositors ruined, they say?
 Why, simply because it
 Was a Bank of Deposit,
 And never pretended to pay.


 THE LATEST FROM THE SOUTHERN CONTRABAND or WAR.-" I thay,
 THAMBo, why am dat thugar-plum they call "Rahat Likoum" like de
 dropping ob dat taller candle ?"-" Can' gueth! Thpothe for why
 dey am Lumpth ob De-light!"
 SOLE OCCIDENTE.-Would it be levity to speak of an expiring
 cobbler as one who was breathing his last ?
 WHY ought the atrocity of conundrums in this paper be forgiven ?
 -Because they are all in FUN !
 .


Fl]


i- [DECEMBER 28, 1861.


_~ _~


A DELICATE TEMPTATION.
 AMoNG the advertisements with
which at this delightful season the
newspapers teem, we observe one
specially addressed to the ladies
of the nobility and gentry," who
are invited to inspect, as a Christ-
mas treat, nothing less than "a
large assortment of Widows' caps,
bonnets, etc., of a style especially
suited to the upper classes; and a
variety of Second Widow's mourn-
ing caps, so difficult to be met
with at any other establishment"
than that of the lady who thus
offers to all wives the pleasure of
such an inspection as the above.
We beg to protest against such a
temptation being held out. Sup-
pose the wives of the upper classes
are tried beyond their strength by
those "ducks of caps" and those
"charming weepers," and adopt
the only means available to obtain
the wear of them! Then, again,
what is the Second Widow's Cap,
so difficult to be met with?" Does
it allude to the widow's being a
step below the upper classes,
mentioned just before, or to her
having once already worn a similar
head-gear? If the latter be the
right solution of the enigma, how
is the second cap distinguished?
By the number of stripes on it,
like the sleeves of sergeants and
corporals ?


 WHY do dentists advertise
"patent artificial teeth," when
anybody knows that the last kind
of teeth one would choose are
those which are patently artificial!