FUN.


*- -ic.-1III,


---- ---_ _


 TOO BAD-.

Litthle lp :-I sAY, Mn. MANrTIION, ARE YOU A COMPARISON? BECAUSE LOTTY SAID
 THAT YOUl WERE SO ODIOUS, AND IT SAYS IN MY COPY-BOOK THAT COMPARISONS ARE


 DECEMBERR 28, 18G1.



 YANKEE DOODLE.
 Si LATEST VERSION.
 S YANKEE DOODLE'S in a row,
 And wants to thrash his brother,
 AnLd fight they would, but don't know
 how,
 The one can lick the otber.
 SYankee Doodle fears to go
 To meet the southern rebel,
 For ever since Bul's Run, you know,
 He swears he is the Debble.
 Yankee Doodle, etc.
 Yankee Doodle.is the cove-
 ] Wot could lick .all creation,
 And now he is afraid to move
 An inch beyond the station.
 S Yankee. Doodle calculates,
 He'd like it much therather,
 To leave the:bold Confederates,
 And pitch into his father.
 Yankee Doodle, etc.
 Yankee Doodle thinks that dad
 Might come perhaps to drill him,
 And cuff his ears, but not so bad
 As altogether kill him..
 Yankee Doodle stopped the Trent
 To see who all were in it:
 But by and by he will repent,
 AAnd say he didn't mean it.
 S Yankee Doodle, etc.
 S Yankee Doodle doesn't fight,
 Although he's fond of boasting,
 But long before the States unite,
 SHe'll get a jolly roasting.
 .. Yankee Doodle's in a row,
 And cannot get out handy,
 -'^^T\ "I wish I was in Britain now,"
 S Says Yankee Doodle dandy.
 -_--- Yankee Doodle, etc.


 -SAYINGS OF OUR SAGE IN THE
 STREETS.-nllnocence often assumes
 the appearance of guilt. I have seen
 a highly respectable and virtuous,
 but short-sighted lady, hail the
 YESTERDAY police-van by mistake for the Isling-
ODIOs. ton 'bus.


CROSS-QUESTIONING AND CROOKED ANSWERS.
 [Mi. Bailur has favoured us with tile following report of a trial at
Dublin, as proof of the correctness of his views touching the absurdity
of grammar and its formulas.]
 SCENE.-The Assize Court, Civil Side.
 His TIonxor: going to sleep furtively, but roused at intervals by his
tickling his nose with his own pen. An action is proceeding, in
which O'llrATllER, Q.C., is trying to elicit an illicit keg of whisky,
supposed to have passed between DAN and Pi'iE.ii .
 O'BLAT'HER.-DANIEr, BURII, will you have the goodness to state to
the gentlemen of the jury what occurred ?
 DAN) (addressing the top of the judie's head visible over his deslc).-
Well, thin, it's jest so, av ye plaze. When I corned to the ihir I meets
wi' Pl'nim:ui (that's him as is there in the family pew wi' the gontle-
man as has a cast in his eye and a flower in his button-hole), and
soz I, "Pn I~ .ii," s'z I, "how is we going to do about thim pigs? "
soz I. So he sez lie couldn't take the pigs back noways, but he
wasn't after minidin' a keg of potlieen--
 0' B E. -Stop! stop I want you to repeat his conversation
in the exact words in which it happened.
 DAN.-D)ivvle a word else! Is it tellin' a lie I'd be ? "PHELIIM,
sez I, how about the pigs?" and he sod he couldn't take---
 O'BLATHER.-No! no He didn't say he wouldn't take-
 D.\x.-Axin' yer pard'n thin, MIR. COUNSELLOR, that's jist what ihe
did say, and niver a one but him.


 OBLATIIEn.-But he spoke to you in the first person.
 DAN.-Sure now, an' wasn't I the first person as spoke, an' sez I,
"how about the pigs ?" And didn't he say he couldn't--
 O'BLATHEI.-Now attend to me He couldn't address you in the
third person.
 DAN.--Thrue for you! Divvle a third person was there to spake.
 O'BLATHIER.-Have the goodness not t6 interrupt me, but listen
attentively to what I say. PIIELIM O'RAFFERTY did not say to you
that he couldn't take the pigs back ?
 DAN.-Thin that's jest what he did say, Mit. COUNSELLOeR.
 JUDGE (ickieng suddenly).-Silence! Witness, listen to what the
learned gentleman says to you.
 O'BLATHEsR.-DANIEL BURKE, did not PHELIM O'RATFERTY say to
you, I will not"-
 DAN.-Och, counsellor dear, it's talking' about different things we
are. I niver heard him mintion yer name. And sure if there was
anlthin' said about the pigs when a third person was present, and 1
wasn't the first to spake, and if yer honour's name was mentioned,
wly then it's meeself that wasn't there at all ava,-and it's two
things we talking' of, counsellor darlin'.
 JI DGE (suddenly awlakenle to a sense of the gravity of his position.
by the absurdity of O'BLAT ER'S).-I think the witness had better
stand down, MR. O'BLATHER, ell?
 O'BLATIHE.-Oh, certainly, my Lud, if you Ludship--
 (Exit DAN precipitatsly.)