DECEMBER 14, 1861.]


FU1N;.


 TIUMANITY.


 A SONG FOR THE "SHOW."
 To A RIGHT TRULY-ROORAL AIR.
 OI! what a town, what a wonderful meat-ropolis,
 Where twenty thousand sheep, or more, are swallowed every day.
 Where every tavern seems to get of mutton chops monopolies,
 To feast the hungry customers inclined that way.
 Sixty thousand pots of stout each hour in a jiffey gone,
 Dublin down our throats ere long, must surely see its Liffey gone;
 Just a thousand bullocks cut up daily into steaks for us,
 Whilst thirteen thousand tons of cheese digesting them it takes
 for us.
 Oh, what a town, etc.
Go to the Show" and you'll see, or get a chance of it,
 The people who this provender for town provide ;
Knowing the reality you there have the romance of it,
 Fairy-fashioned animals all standing side by side.
Notice what fine joints they have, with oil-cake all well lubricated,
See the silver medals that for prizes are adjudicated,
Then think of what silver sides of rounds of beef you'll get from
 them,
And fancy what contentment you will feel when you have ate from
 them.
 Oh, what a town, etc.
Calls at the stalls soon will make a quick despatch with them,
 For buyers only look at them and buy they do;
As for our Southdowns there's nothing that can match with them,
 And all who have the slightest taste will say so too.
Just the sort of dinner for a valetudinarian,
Quite enough to re-convert the greenest vegetarian,
You look at every sheep and feel before you have your wonder
 done,
How very nice a cut at you would be a little underdone.
 Oh, what a town, etc.
Look in each nook, and you'll notice the majority,
 A great amount of flesh unite with very little bone;


 Brought are the short horns to such superiority,
 You wouldn't think it vain of them to blow their own.
 There's a steer that does appear, like nothing of the oldlen kind,
 Which carried for its owner ofl'a medal of the golden n kinl
 And there's a splendid cow which did the same and made a many
 swear,
 "I'm danged if such an animal I've seen like that'un anywhere."
 Oh, what a town, etc.
 Heeding the breeding, you couldn't auvijimil try,
 To fix where such progressionists will'ever ccsae,
 Mere fat-none of that-now we go for symnet ry,
 For which it isn't needful they should run to grrase.
 What a splendid study for the painter do they there afford,
 Nothing can be better than a Devon but a Ilerefrd,
 Think of steak and onions, and you long to set the coolk lt them,
 For though you screw your month about, it waters just to look it,
 them.
 Oh, what a town, etc.
 Peep at the sheep and you'll wonder what they rut on things,
 To make that woolly coat of theirs so much adliiredl
 Pigs, we all know, are'like facts considered stulborn thini;,"
 But here they seem to amplify to any size required.
 Of course his ROYAL HiIGHNESS, lnnle n11ro Ibr1 tl'ltlle lo11 ] l 'r
 men,
 Wins a prize as usual for the very finest specimriiv; "
 It really seems to look as il'the PTmutIN' had got; tho vnnilty
 To think he could convert the world b1y pi:s to Christinilty.
 Oh, what a town, etc.
 Oh! what a show for those symbols ofrurality,
 Jolly round red faces under short crowned hats ;
 Top-boots encasing logs of vast substantiality,
 Unpleasant for those sharspers who take countrymen for flats.
 Don't they fill our concert-rooms, Whore they away their money
 fling,
 And every time the comic man has said or done a funny thing,
 Don't they thump those legs about, and roar at all his wit again,
 "Danged, that be a rummun; why he makes a chap's sides split,
 again! "
 Oh, what- a town, etc.
 Oh what a show for the wonders of machinery,
 For everything and anything a farmer needs,
 Mammoth mangold-wurzel for the time when there's no greenery,
 Turnips that top even them as supernatural swedes:."
 Search the wide world through and through be sure you couldn't
 take a street,
 To show a better butchers' treat than this, the last in Baker-
 street,
 So every year may it appear increasing in prosperity,
 And we no'em want a catlc-slow tO fitten Ip) posterity.
 For oh such a show of meat in the neat-ropolis,
 Was never yet exhibited to outdo this.



 HORSES v. FROST.
 UNDER this heading a correspondent of the Evenilnq Ierild pro-
poses an admirable method of enabling horses to rise :after having
fallon in the shafts of.carts or waggons. The shafts, he Ihinks, should
be moveable by means of bolts or screws which could I( withdrawn.
The vehicle could then be propped up by thIt rest which is already
attached to most carts, and the horse, having no weight pressing
him to the earth, could easily rise.
 As this suggestion about carts and waggons is for tie )publlic wal,
we put our spoke in in its favour, and readily make FUIIN tie vehi('le
for carrying it to the ends of the earth. We hope the proposal will
not be met with the shafts of ridicule, or with a horse laugh ; and we
give the proposer carte blnichc to carry out a *.... -ir..i which is
certainly not a mare's nest. A cart with moveable shafts would un-
doubtedly wag-on just as well as with fixed shafts, and whether a
horse falls on the dusty road of summer, or the ice and snow of
winter, it makes snow difference,-a pun for which we deserve thIo
whip. However, we wager a pony that now we have given the
suggestion this spur it will go at a rattling pace.


 A REGULAR STAG-GERE.--DAVIs, the QUEEN'S huntsman, says it's
a.great pity that certain London lawyers, who rido so many miles
every week to the hounds," don't ride a few with 'cm, as well.


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