FU N.


[DECEMBER 7, 1861.


 SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.-No. 2.
 .-- OU must know, dear FUN, that we
 Shave had another delightful day
 .- with the Barkshire hounds. Early
 in the morning I rode towards
 I '- .`'--_-=- Crackley Gorse, sitting easily in
 S -my new pigskin (for my horse,
 gentle as a lamb, is not only a
 Capital trotter, but is also, like
 Sour dear old SPURGEON, just
 made for a canter), and looking
 "'. --- -_ '-- about for the Bow and Harrow,"
 /:---- _w where we were to meet. There
 were not so many out at the inn
 .' as I had expected, though per-
 i haps this was owing to my having
 ,-' t '''''- lhad a formidable gathering in
 Pmy eyie for some days past, and
 ..'. the reality was disappointing. I
 Missed the master, who had, how-
 ever, only gone to the dogs a few
 minutes before my arrival, and soon appeared whipping his tops in his
 oWvn playful style, as he walked towards me with his peculiar gait. Well,
 away we went to the cover-side. 'Twas a lovely morning, and in the
 bright sunlight we saw the distant hills quite plain; we were lost
 in admiration, but soon found in the gorse. We were speedily in fall
 cry, at least was, a briar having switched me smartly across the
 lcre. Tlh whole field got off very well together, and I got off at the
 first fence, having dropped my hiip. My horse, Jugurtha, was very
 restive, and would insist on my standing, while he wanted to take a
 drain. After a short co-test and a little bribery (with some oats) I
 managed to regain my seat. The hounds were by this time out of
 sight; I thought I saw them some fields in front, but it was only a
 few hares on the brow of the bill. Suddenly I heard a shout in the
 liollow. We made for it at a gallop, and tried to get on a head, in which
 r succeeded, getting very painfully on my own; for as Jugurtha,
 having a hard mouth, didn't care a bit for me, I, in giving him his
 head, lost mine; he then rushed at a ha-ha" (a style of hedge not
 to be laughed at), and I soon found myself landed on the, edge of a
 ditch. Before I had time to collect my senses I saw a horrid bull
 coming towards me, of which, as I am no cowherd, I own to being
 very much afraid. At last I had the prospect of a good run and the
 probability of being the only one in at the death. One blow of his
 horn and it would be all over. I felt it would be a toss up whether I
 escaped or not. Not taking to hIis looks, I took to my heels, and had
 a very fair burst of joy when, on looking back, I saw that he was
 tethered to a stake (a cruel memento imori, by the way). I saw the
hounds soEn~ln d 4 1 11 11 T 1i rl 1 lrn er, hl 11 4?m,,r.r\


 MR. AND MRS. SMITH AT HOME.
 WE understand that MR. and MRs. SMITH (of the metropolitan
 theatres) are about to produce an entertainment at the Egyptian
 Hall. We have been favoured with the subjoined summary of its
 leading features:-
 INTRODUCTION.
 MR. and MRs. SMITH at dinner.-Dinner chit-chat.-" What that
 cold mutton again ? "-Housekeeping money.-How to increase our
 income ?-- various suggestions rejected.-"Why don't you give an
 entertainment?"-The very thing!-Subject discussed.-Personal
 history decided upon.-Send out for two quires of outside foolscap,
 and set to work.
 THE ENTERTAINMENT.
 My birthplace, a workhouse (may be seen on payment of small
gratuity to housekeeper).-My early cducation.-Personation: The
Charity Brat," MRs. SarrTH.-Leave school.-Pecuniary difficulties.-
Cast about for a profession, and am eventually called to the bar (of
the Green Dragon).-Feel I am born to be something better than a
pot-boy.-Am offered an engagement at Drury Lane to make myself
generally useful in pantomime; salary, six shillings per week.-Intro-
duced to MR. BUNN.--My first appearance.-Play "a messenger" to
CHARLES KEAN'S Richard IlI.-Decide to adopt the stage as a profes-
sion.-Peuniary difficulties:-Presented at (County) Court, at suit
of landlady.--Marry landlady to escape consequences.--My wife's
mother.-Comic song: "Oh, don't I love my mother-im-inaw! MR.
SMire.--Quarrel with MR. BUNN.-Introduction to MR. MADDOX.-
Pecuniary difficulties.-Anecdotes of the aristocracy.-Personation :
" The HoN. Tom TATTY'BOY," MRS. SsMITH.-First appearance at
Princess's as fourth soldier in Noureddini; or, the Fair Persian.-
Always very nervous in new parts.-Pecuniary difficulties.-Adver-
tiso to find genteel employment for young ladies, by which they may
realize from 20 to 70 per week.-Pay debts and clear 207.-Quit
the stage, and set up as gentleman of fortune.-Pecuniary difficulties.
-Take to stage again.-Introduced to MR. E. T. SrITH.-Remark on
singular coincidence in our respective surnames.-Play Hurley
Burley in the pantomime.--Recitation: Uneasy sits the Head that
wears a Pantomime Mask," Ma. SmITH.--Domestic differences.-M- s.
SMITrH and the property-man.-" How about the blue fire ? "-Pecu-
niary difficulties.-Advertise for the loan of 50 for three days, giving
bonus of 750, and depositing property worth 30,000.-Obtain loan,
and open classical and commercial academy.-Death of mother-in-law.
Scena: "Stay the seraph wings that bear thee!" (Lucia), IMR.
S-MITi.--Pecuniary difficulties.-Queen's Bench.- A debtor's prison.
-Passing of new Bankruptcy Bill.-Emancipation.-Conclusion.


 A ays a 0i % oar s, an e egur of Ot. pe mem erh o ure on the
the hunt admire that horse ; ho carries himself so well and me so AND so TEY OUT.-Som of the papers have lately urge on the
badly, I shall part with him. Buy him, my dear Fus. You'll like "powers that be" the duty of building, at the expense of the nation,
him as sure "as eggs is eggs," or, as the sporting Frenchmen say at libf-boats and harbours of refuge. We think they ought to do so,
Chantilly, as hoofs is hoofs." Glad to see you and any friends. too; and if their efforts only had the effect of saving one "good ship "
Come, rcum mdltis alis.--Yours ever, a year, we would never begrudge the money spent; although this
 Come, co's Nti Hrcai.-Yours evY would be the only instance in which we could ever countenance a
 fiMrc's A5est, HorschaiM. Guy Fox. .toreck less expenditure on the part of our rulers.
 QuITE CONCLUSIVE.-Thero is, at the present moment, a "divided
 opinion" as to the condition of the Church of England. Some people
 Tiu A GMu IL. ,ws.--Some wolf-cnbs have lately been seen in the say she has much to fear; others, and amongst them LORD STANLEY,
Eissex covers, having been imported for fox-cubs. The game-preserving alfirm that she has not. For our own parts, we hold she must be in
gentry will be loath to have them destroyed, for they will afford .1' seeing that Mi. DIsRAELI has proclaimed himself her
nichl better sport than Reynard, and if tle animals should devour a champion!
liv of their tenants' children, it can easily be considered in the rent, THERE are a great many mean, spiritless nondescripts, who profess
and there will be flower mouths gaping for the corn that is so much to join volunteer corps, get the clothes, and, like the organ monkeys,
required for thl birds. dance the streets in them, never attending drill, and never paying for
 "N NEVR s.Y Dl)I-xN !"-Wo thought that Mn. BoucreAULT''s Collee I uniform. Those 'fllows-no, these boobies-are perfect sweeps; they
1,,ic. hlad gone to that bourne whence no traveller returns; we are, join for the sake of the suit (soot), and by all means give them the
ii)iwver, mistaken; she las re-appeared at ASTLEY'S,-ofcourse, as the sack.
Collei.n J3riioe on horseback. IF the WTarrior and the vessels of her class be fitted with iron masts,
 WVlAvr THE AitERICANs EXPECT'.-The Yankees fancy we shall we would humbly suggest the adoption of steel yards to the aforesaid
interfere in their quarrels for the sake of our millocracy ; but we are masts. Not only should we thus steal a march upon the enemy in a
much too downy to cotton to them, and shall not join in their fights masterly manner, but these steel yards would be so extremely handy
on account of our mills, in weighing the anchor.
 LEs lo iES NAPOLEONTIENES.-TlTh French Emperor went to war ISMPORTANT DoMESTIC QUrESTION.-Should a wife receive as a valid
for an idea. Was it his idea that lie could not be arrested for debt reason for her inferior moiety's incapability to maintain a perfect
while on active service ? i equilibrium after dining out, his excuse that he wears "screwed
 A Cox. To VorLUTEERs.-What speaker should reply to a threat boots," and his trousers are "tight ? "
of invasion ?-The Enfield. NEW NAME.-As the Roman Catholic AeRCIHisnoP OF DUBLIN always
 WiVY is a deaf man like the lato Tiom.ts MOORE ?-Because he's appears to be in such a sour and crusty mood, he is to be called-
de-barred of' Erin. F'x dixit-for the future ARucHBISHO S ULLEN.


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