: FU N.


 A ROMANCE IN REAL LIFE.
 THE habituds of Waterloo-place must have remarked during the last few days the presence of an
elderly gentleman of flabby and sodden exterior, wearing two advertising boards slung tabard-wiso
over his shoulders. His eye is remarkable for a scared and bewildered expression, and his general
aspect is so suggestive of hunger that one is almost tempted to wonder that lie doesn't take
advantage of the accidents of his sandwich condition and eat himself up. He is considered by l It.
and MRS. GERMAN REED to be an eligible advertising medium, and receives from them a handsome
annual income.
 Attached to this elderly person is a tale of considerable domestic pathos. IIo is the only son of
wealthy parents, but, unfortunately, soon after birth slight symptoms of insanity began to develop
themselves. These increased as he grew up, and although he was always perfectly harmless, still,
as he was liable to occasional fits of eccentricity it was considered that he should never go abroad
unattended. His father died many years ago, and his mother, a wealthy old lady of fashion,
considers that her dignity would suffer materially if she were to present herself in public accoim-
panied by her afflicted son. She is too close-fisted to provide him with a paid attendant, so when-
ever the poor fellow desires a little air and exercise, he is obliged to sally forth without protection.
He is fully alive to the impropriety of his being abroad unattended, and he feels that every apology
is due from him to an outraged public. Indeed, he has so far permitted his domestic grievances
to triumph over his sense of duty, that he has taken the liberty of pasting over MR. REED'S
advertising board the apologetic legend, Mamma won't bring me out." We have every reason to
suppose that the afflicted man contrives to escape, unnoticed from the maternal superintendence,
for his appearance is strongly suggestive of one whose mother does not know that he is out.



 THE FORCE OF IABIT.
 THE New Bankruptcy Laws are affording shoals of instances of the truth of the saying that eels
get used to skinning. The other day, a prisoner named MILLAR was brought up for adjudication,
who had been fifty years in jail, and had grown so accustomed to the "law's delay," that M t.
REGISTRAR WINSLOW was afraid of the effect on his health if he were restored to freedom. ieo was
therefore left till the next goal return,-M-R. WINSLow expressing a hope that by that time his
health would be sufficiently reinstated to "bear the shock of an adjudication and release from custody."
In locking him up again the worthy REGISTRAR was "cruel only to be kind."


 VOL. I.


DECEMBER 7, 1861.]


 A CURIOUS I'TTY.
 Ox Montiday lst, is slow 1 passed
 'ThIe 'rowMl'ed Str:ian along,
 1 lihard a littlll rgi;ed boy,
 V .. t ... ,- a .tipu 1il song;
 The air was ,ad, the words wire weik,
 With neither point nor sense,
 But still that urchin chanted it
 Will fer\Venic intense.
 Like Tu'Irl'ii's'its philosophy,
 Its tone is AU'STIN's low,
 An All .\ its silnmpl poetry
 Could sea ret frotii I (C'sI.O i'S inow
 Y, -tlihough tie nililv wis smatl.
 And tinhough tihe words \i, poor.-
 SThy milade ine pinilder hoiw the ,,rSl
 iDemnands a Pe'rfect Cure.

 And first the world religious m,,1,
 A lthoroI ug'h .,.. slrsii; ht,
 For "C'lrisli;i. .. ( ight not It hb,
 A synoll fior lhilt;'"
 \Anld t.;ils hulhld not he Sellf-ordainl'l


 Thelin t i lOl)N, Ilriiiisisn ('lh:ithq(r,"
 A\In trnf',, e' guo d l- itio,
 A\lid ill)oTO( Croi ('IMIM, wlho dl'vclrl'11
 The end is enniing too-
 ItligiolI lnimst get ridll of these,
 lier shifty to "surire1 :
 TI' v o peA o' piil, lous i rLks
 DLenIHIIndS fL PCITO'l (t'0r1-.

 'The world of 'lftors sintlls t'nulifiI'Id
 Soine remndiels t o netd,
 Whlile Tl'illl wiiles provorhinl stuff'
 That tens.ol thoiusnmls ri'nl ;
 While prurient little AUSTIN still
 In kchenlels loves to grope,
 At second-lhand to file flithe filth
 That 'I'li, saoiled the lliunds of PoI',;
 While T'oLtIt,'IE) loves the poor "lhilki
 cloth"
 'With deeper blilack to sniiir
 While COLLINS *mndl Ilis WomIan WNhilo
 'Can privo tlhei lir lle cliir
 While IKlephompnitiisi' niiriiTI
 Kind readers will endure;
 It's plain flitt lail ,ntr. re, inldedl.
 Delinands a Perfect Cure.

 I :",l.1.t prolong my Ctnrious song
 'Io Itquite ail epie size,
 Did T proceed to tell our need,
 Spe'ifies to devise.
 Onr hlinliiold Iliws show tImple e('llln
 Our saift.ies to rep.lir'
 Onr politics nar fill of tricks,
 That asks rliniedial earl;

 I)isorders IIhave Ithlt pihysic need
 More sure than their own itull::
 "And tlhonslilis nl o ,, it i ent eoi s llti illrl

 Might gleant froliti t li:tn, Fale silly uolint
 About a P'erfec't C(r'e.



 Wit :arce tlie All Englatiid Eleven like
voung ladies wishing to be nmirrid ? -
liecaius they are al'!ways on the look ',ut
for good catches and great niitchi's.
 A CORRESPONDENT, who l: Itis le;itti road-
ing the list of' vessels in I.M.'s N;vv,
wiiits to kcnow if the Lvri'fcr is a nimatch
for the WVarrior '
 WiTy should crriclrf'trs 1i, vir lh ustted
to a datnce?- teiautse they stlop Ilt ib ll.
 Tile PoLISli Q(iEiST'N.- --" Cloan your
boots, ir ?"
 PAILwAY colmnmunicationis 'orrillt gonod
manors.