FTT N. [NOVEMBER 30, 1861. 112 Scene-Railway Station, Slough-cmt-Puddle Road. Commercial Gentleman:-WOT! NINEPENCE FOR THREE MILE, A ND ONLY THAT BIT 0' LUGGAGE ( !" Jechi, attached to the Royal Hotel, and driving the Slouilh-cum-.uddle ihitS:- "WELL, Sill, I"'APS IT'S RATIIEII STIFF, SPECIALLY, YOU SEE, AS THE (CUV'NOR DON'T RUN THIS BuS PORl A LIVING IBUT ONLY TO GIVE TIE HORSES A I[AIIlIN', AND FOR TIlE BENErIT OF oUR HEALTH! " -- - 'S~.^, ALMANACK AND DIARY. ASTRO-METEORILLOGICAL NOTICES. There will be a storm on the 31st of this month, so violent as to wash that day entirely out of the calendar. It may perhaps be found by the aid of some new company's prospectus, in the middle of next week. 'V In consequence of the continued attraction of this month, the first appearance of December will be postponed (definitely) for thirteen days-MOORE. NOVEMBER. 2 5Z Winter Sermons to little boys.-Sermon 1st: The Fall, illus- trated by magic lantern slides, in St. Paul's Churchyard. 23 M Volunteer firing within kitchen range at Newington-butts. 2(i Ti Distribution of bonus by the Improvident Loan Society. 27 IV FUN. Another rise in the FUNS! Latest quotations, excellent; for money, one penny. S2 Tu Annual Civil Service match at Whist, by Members of the India Rubber Club. :j 2I) F Preparations for Saturday. "0 S Private performance of the Judge and Jury Society, by corn- mand. Poses Plastiques by the Barons of the Exchequer. Ariel (for this occasion only), BARON POLLOCK. FLOW\ER CARDEN.-How to make a real cowslip in winter-grease her hoofs, and place her on the ice. KITCHEN GARDE.--This is the time of year for winter vege-tables, dinner-tables (with leaves), and wild time-tables; great care should be taken of tie latter, as they are very changeable. SEASONABLE.-An Ice House.-If you want a house of this kind, build one to your liking; if you have money and good taste, it will then le a nice house. How TO TELL A MUSHROOM FROMt A TOADSTOOL.-Eat one of each. The latter is rank and immediate poison. THE COMING SENSATION! Year it goes round, round, round " The Proprietors of Fu., wishing to make afew-roar with laughing, and also to set the BRITISH PUBLIC grinning from year to year, beg to announce that they have entered into arrangements with the most exalted personages of the day (including BLONsons) for the speedy production of the FUN ALMANAC FOR 1862, comprising some EDUCATIONAL MINUTES OF GREAT MOMENT, (not second-hand information); an Essay on the Fore-quarters, by IIssE:; Problems In I)raughts, by the GnovoEonO of the lBAs ; Voice of the Stars, by a Lighterman, etc. The Almanack will be of such a character that MEMBERS OF THE GOVERNMENT will be compelled to TAKE IT UP, and then find themselves totally n:able to PUT IT DOWN. The Month of March will be devoted to the Volunteer Movement. Full Notice of the GREAT EXHIBITION, which will OPEN in May and CLOSE tothe Kensington Museum. Our Sporting Readers will also be attended to, for our particularly fine cover will be drawn, without any chance ofits being a blank- and finally, the outside will give great promise, which any one may look upon as binding. HOORAY! London; Printed and Published (for the Proprietors) by CHARLES WHYTE, at the Office, 80, Fleet Street, E.C.-Saturday, November 30,1801 ~ 112 LATEST INTELLIGENCE FROM THE (DIS)UNITED STATES. BY steamer from New York we give the latest advices we have received up to the end of the month. BELLIGERENT OPERATIONS. On the 15th instant, COLONEL QUINTLUS C. CROCTUS took up a position in front of Lafayetteville, Miss., where the daring O'MULLIGAN was concentrated. The next day, COLONEL Q. C. CROCTUs, according to the usages of war, sent a trumpet and message to O'MULLIGAN as follows :- Surrender, you beggar !" After an exchange of courte- sies for twenty minutes, the O'MULLIGAN returned an answer to COLONEL Q. C. CIOCTUS, through the trumpet, in these words:-"You be blowed!" Upon the receipt of this defiance, COLONEL Q. C. CROCTUS retired twenty- five miles south from Lafayetteville. The daring O'IMULLIGAN retreated during the night due north, and the city is, at present, unoccupied by either party. THE SENATE. Yesterday the HoN. PAUL A. Torrs, Del., upon occasion of the Navy Estimates Bill being passed, inveighed against the corruption and malpractices of the HON. TOMKINs K. CooBIDDY, Ken., whom he accused of offering twenty-five dollars in shin plasters to the commander of the Yank ee Doodle frigate, to blow up himself and his vessel. The HON. T. K. COOBIDDY said the HON. P. A. TornT was a liar; upon this occurred a scene which may well make the morbid aristocracies of the old world quake with apprehen- sion. SENATOI TOiTS seized a spittoon, and hurled it with tremendous force at the head of SENATOR COOBIDDY, but missing his aim, which is usually very correct, the missile alighted upon the forehead of the Hox. SENATUS CONSIL- TUM PERKINS, Mar., who was whittling his desk. SENATOR COOBIDDY rushed at his adversary, and tore out some of his hair, while SENATOR TOTTs snatched away the false front of the traitor. After a struggle, SEN.ATOR COOBIDDY threw SENATOR TOTTS on the ground, and was proceeding to gouge out his right eye, when the gigantic OBADIAH R. SLUDGE, of Maine, coming cautiously up behind SENATOR CooBIDDY, seized him by the collar, and pitched him into the midst of the hon. gentlemen opposite. The fight became general, and the majority having cowhided the minority into insensibility, proceeded to pass a resolution glorifying the holy cause of liberty in which they were engaged, congratulating the members upon their forbear- ance, no life having been taken in the difficulty which had arisen.