NOVEMBER 30, 1861.]


FtU .


 A TRIFLE FROM HANWELL.
 ExsmR Three. One of them is a WEDDING GiUEST; tei OTIltEi Two I
are simply Fools. To them, a middle-aged EMtPEROR, carrying a
model of La Gloire.
 WEDDING GUEST (abruptly):--Now, wherefore stopp'st thou me ?
 The OTrHER Two affect to be unpretentious.
 EnPERO :-There owas a ship.
 WEDDING GUEST whistles a nautical air. The OTHER Two make
signs that they are Admirals living at Bath.
 EMPEROR :-And she cost no end of money.
 WEDDING GUEST, thinking he is about to be asked for a loan, re-
members an appointment in Trafalgar-square, and goes thither in a
fast omnibus. The OTHER Two take snuff cautiously, and change
the subject.
 OrTER TWO :-Have you seen BLoxix ?
 ErrPERR kicks them twice round St. Paul's, and sits down to
breakfast. They appear pleased at being noticed/and retire with a
sedate expression. EMPEROR, suddenly remembering that there is a
deficit of forty millions sterling, chuckles hoarsely.
 EMPEROR :-Ruin stares me in the face.
 OTHERi Two withoutt) :--"For he's ajolly good fellow." (They forget
the rest of the words, and wish they were thrushes.)
 EMPEROR :-Laugh on, light-hearted revellers; but I (scowls.)
 Am trembling on the brink of bankrupt-cy! (howls.)
 They haven't dropped their purses ? Let me spy.
 (proivls.)
 (Finding nothing, he volunteers a recitation) :-
 I am monarch of all I survey,
 My rights there are none to dispute-
 ('Cos they're all in Cayenne, far away)-
 I am lord of the Foul and the Brute.
 Yet my empire is based on a sham,
 And insolvency now is my case;
 I would rather be jailer at Ham,
 Than reign in this horrible place.
 The Jews that roam over the Bourse,
 Miy form with indifference see;
 I am so unacquainted with cash,
 Their tameness is shocking to me.
 There are ROTrHSCHILDS in every place,
 But ROTIISCnILDs-disheartening thought-
 Are aware that nmy credit is bad,
 And won't do a bil as they ought.
 M. ACIIILLE FOULD su ddenlly enters with a bag.
 FoLD :--Morning, ma tear.
 E-IrPERO (trith a burst of woe) :-
 I tell thee, gentle Jew,
 Money's the object that I have in view ;
 Scarce would a ship-full--
 Fo:LD :- Von't a ccel-full do ?
 The effect of the pun is electrical, or very nearly. The EMPEROR
repents of all his extravagance, and indicates, by a motion of the left
elbow, that Constitutional Government shall, for the future, take the
place of Arbitrary Rule, and that he is now more than ever convinced
that the true source of Political Power is to be found in the People
itself. He then looks fatigued. Lights down.
 FOULD sings :-
 Ye ministers of England,
 Who guard her native debt;
 Whose credit, spite of millions spent,
 Is good and current yet--
 Your glorious system I'11 adopt,
 Like DECKER, or TUR-GOT.
 EMIPEROR :-You're a sweep ; but you're deep,
 At this here financial go;
 Where the rate of discount rises fast,
 And the public stocks are low.
 They go through pantomime expressions of retrenchment and
economy. EMPEROR is about to speak about OTIHER Two, but forgets
what he was going to say. EMPEROR and M. FOULD then come
forward and address the audience wheedlingly:--
 Indulgent creatures, candidly we own,
 Our real business is with you-a loan.
 Disposition of the characters at the end of the piece-
 Both are sanguine.
Curtain falls hialf-way, and recovers ilsclf with sudlen effort of digini t.

 NEW NAME FOR FEMALE INFIANTS.-CRINOILINA.


WHAT IT MUST COME TO !


 "BILL STICKERS, BEWARE!"
 Wire is BILL STICKEis ? s Will any one enlighten 11s ? TP11 ol liitimi
words meet us in every thoroulilhtfire, on every wall. WIhy dioei nn
BILL STICKERS como forward like a oman, confess his criti', :ind niIk
atonement? Who is 1ho what is ho? whero is he(? vli ih ,.t Is hI
done P For years this wretched man has walked in the perpltui
cloud of this threat. It is a sword of )A.\locl.:s t1,1li, moet'is ]lia oiln
every dead wall. The refined torture, too, in the fanliliarily 1/il
STIcriKEns. NoT snflieintl tLo say" Al WI.l,IA.\M S'i'ii'~tis is r'eqiti'st'd,"
utc.; or "Wo advise ]fll. \VII.IIAn STli ts," I'. No; the hillr,
crushing, heartless brevity,-" BlIt, S'I'i('c;EIu, bliuaro! 'Wihat isi
the crime, to be haunted like a shadow with hnowaro be where ho
will, poor fellow ? BILL STICKIans, boware, he wary.


 CICERO POLITELY CONSTRUED) BY A FRESINIMAN.
 Abiit-IIo went out (to dinner).
 Excessit-He drank a glass or two of clhanmiagne.
 Evasit-Ho said he was all right ; but-
 Eru2pit-Ho was obliged to go out on the balcony.


 NEVER SATISFIED.-Tho man who lias been so long trying to mneet
his difficulties, succeeded last week; we are sorry to report, however,
that the interview was not at all satisfactory; indeed the poor nman
now declares that he wishes he and they had kept apart.
 If the parent of the following con. will call at our offico during tlh
first heavy fall of snow he may get something to his advantage.
What kind of rabbit does the elegant Temple fountain rosomblu ?-
Ajet d'eau (doe) Pray got some advice, do.
 WIT AND IIME-OUII.--1Ma. IIME te celebrated mediinn, will dlui
regard to his children's health, when going out into the Novembier air,
ties up their throats with spirit wrappers.
 A BoB's-woRTIr.-SRS ROrEnirr, in his little tour through I lc1nld, I: is
greatly disappointed one party, .vlo naturally expected that J'l:l:.
would be entirely on the Orange side.
 INTELLIGENCE FROiM ni. CI1LI.;"; (Irclanll).-Those who expect ally
intelligence from this quarter will be greatly disappointed.
 A DISTRESSED friend of ours has discovered that the ,bst way it
avoid a rest (arrest) is to keep moving.


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