ITOVEMBER 16, 18G1.]


F-U ITN.


 "I SI-SIIAY OL EGAL, -ICII L-WAY TOO REGENSH SHIRtCUSS?"


 THEATRICAL CORRESPONDENCE.
 TuE following advertisement appeared'the other day in the Times:-
To THEATRICAL COMPOSERS.-An Amateur wishes an experienced Theatricasl
 Composer to remodel a play, partly melodramatic, partly operatic, which is said to
possess merit, and with the aid of some experience, is likely to prove successful. Address
WVInsLow JOIIasro, Post-office, etc.
 We can very easily imagine the advertiser receiving the following sug-
gestions :-
 FR03 MR. J. MADDISON MORTON.
 My dear WINSTON JOIINSLOW,-I mean JOINSLOW WINSTON,-I am your.
man. It is no use your telling me I am not your man, when I say I anm your
man; because if I am really and truly your man, how preposterous it is of
you to pretend that I am not your man! (Bonnets him.) So, my dear
WINJOIIN TONSiOW,--I mean SLOWSTON JOHNWIN,-I am the man for you. (Hit:-
him in the chest.) Melodramatic? Operatic? Hydrostatic? Mathematics ?
Any other attic? (Breaks crockery.) Name your terms. Give your terms
a name. One thousand ? Two thousand? Three thousand ? Oh, bother!
say four thousand, and have done with it. (Exit rapidly, R.U.E., running
against servant, and bonnets him.) Twig ?"
 FRos -MR. Tot TAYLOR.
 "I shall have of the most great felicity in you doing the service of which
you have necessity, my dear mister. I desperate that my name is not of tilw
most obscure. I am an author, Britannic dramatic, but I know very well the
French. Ask ye of M. CHARLLs DE BERNAiR about my Still Waters. 1
make you respectcously, my salutations the most profound."
 FRno MR. CIAnLEs READER.
 If you do not employ me, I will put a brand upon your name for ever. I
will make unborn generations curse and yell, and hiss at your vile memory,-
yea, parish idiots shall spit scorn upon your wretched tomb. Hah! What do I
see? Yonder goes MR. MUDIE, round tho corner! Quick! my hat and(
gloves! And bring me my loaded cane!"


 ]:"11 11Z. PION BOV 'I'U /P.
 "I have a capital idea for your piece. (th, a waior cave,
and let some o1, plunge in after the heroine. This has
answered remarkably well in a piece which I have jslt
brought out at the Adelphi.'
 Fito, MiR. PirTZIIAIl..
 Hush! Woe are observed. Plight iue thy rolth. I am
a "theatrical composerr" JOIINsTON. l'ly! The e (,s of
jealousy are bit later' than the raven tresses of Cemory't; Ileet-
ing lake. IIa! ha:! hialh! Talk not to mil of happiness. I
will remodel your piece for yen, hut I must be allowed to
name my own terms for doing so. Meet me, on a Fridany, in
a cavern. I will bring pen, ink, and daggers. 'Sdeathl, int
ALrnoxsso! G rr!"


 PLEBEIAN BALLADS.
 Adapted (for tse first time) to Aristocratic Circles.
No. 9.-A MEDLEY SONIC STPPOPED' TO BE PSING BY T111'
 GORILLA, WITH. FOllIGN GRACI'ES TO NATIVE AiRS.
 Air -" Skidamalink."
 Tlis kid am a link, they say, Iicigho!
 'Twixt beasts and human nature,
 And that my features simply show
 Of man's a cnri-caturo.
 They've gone and brought, me over here,
 From regions equatorial,
 Not only to adorn a tail,
 But likewise point a morial.
 Air--" Sally, come Il."
 Tlhrouglont the bygone season 1.
 Have been of crowded salots li-
 On, but now shall 1 lie by
 Till next, when I shall rally.
 Oh, such a sell!
 Some people tell
 The world I am
 A perfect sham,
 And others I'm a riddle.
 Oh CIIAII.iL, comO up,
 ClIAILILU, come down,
 h efrto the lies spread through the town :
 Don't knit your brows and simply friown,
 Silence is suicid-al.

 Air-" 01l Bob Ridley."
 Tn-white folks, to your dingy city,
 And then behave quite without pity;
 No individual I'll name,
 But simply say that it's a shame,
 To old gorilla show;
 This sort ..I tl ,,,., you know,
 It is not '- !.. ,' faul, lo ohl
 To old gorilla, oil I

 Air-" The Pcrfect Cure."
 I've seen a certain MISITE STEADl
 Dance what is termed tlio Cure,"
 And how he does in't lose his head,
 I cannot say, I'm sure.
 'The swift way lhe goeo up and down,
 This thought suggests to me :
 )no day all's fair," the next done brown,"
 That's popularitee.

 Air-" In the Strad."
 My luckless form has been revealed
 lu the bow-window of the Field,
 In the Strand, in the Strand;
 They also made a farce on nro,
 'Twas acted at the Adel-plho,
 In tihe Strand, in the Strand.
 A comic song they've written,
 And a picture show,
 Where I something look
 'Twixt AnRGTLE'S Duke
 And ElnwAn \i BU3IWEr1 LY'r'ro.


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