NoVEMBER 16, 1361.]


FTJN.


 F URES OF FUN.-No. 1.
 THE POLICEMAN,
 HI ICI," as Mrs. GAmrI would say,
 his name is Bobby." He has a dis-
 tinctive right to that appellation,
 j just as a waiter has to the name of
 George or William. le is "a young
 '- ~f uman from the country;" but after lie
 f ha been in town for some time, most
 -- l'~ people find it difficult "to get over
 him." His face shines not with in-
 S tellignce, but soap. lie is often
 ia wanted, but seldom found at the
 right time. He is frequently round
 j {the corner. li looks after two
 ; things-a pretty housemaid and a
 boy with a hoop. The boy calls him,
 behind his back, a coppere r," and a
 S- ":--- "'crusher," but before his fhee "sir."
 IHe assures "sir" that "lie did not
 go to do it," when his "cat." or ball
;: chucked" through a window. To young delinquents the police-
man is awful; to the poor orango-gil the words more on" aro as
the sounds of Fato. He is severe to the small offenders, and, like the
rest of human kind, gentle to the great ones ; but lie has much to put
up with, and must be regular on his beat. le is an "officer," but
c;an scarcely bo called a gentleman. It his been facetiously said that
ho holds a commission in the Blues. IH is the subject of sundry
caol old jokes, and it is said to be the cat which takes away all the
cold mutton. Io is presumed to be moro partialto o the cook than to
tho housemaid, for the cook can feed him with "tid-bits." He is
believed to know the way down everybody's area, and to be familiar
with the insides of most kitchens. According to most people, lie
should never be hungry, and should frequently have a leg of a cold
fowl or goose in his pocket with histruncheon. He is sadly used by
dramatic authors, andis always misrepresented on the stage. Ho gets
the worst in the contest with the clown in a pantomime, and is cajoled
even by the silly old pantaloon. The clown says, "Please, sir,
isn'tt me, 'twas the other boys;" and wien he turns, bonnets
him. He runs after the thief the wrong way, and is laughed at,
when he falls over a rope. Hie is used to make fun in farces, to be
boiled in coppers in pantomimes (upon which he turns out a soldier),
i:'d is called an unboiled lobster. He has long hours of duty, and
ye may never meditate, for while lie is thinking thie thief is
acting. To make up for the ridicule on the stage, he is a great
favourito in the papers. Ho may havo the greatest part of the world
done for him, but he always reaps tlio credit. Froii information
which has been received" lie is always on the spot; he captures tlhe
burglar in the nick of time, and is always called that active and
iintelligent officer A 1." Bat it is to bt noted that he is always a day
too late in murders and accidents, antd that the victim is just dead
when, like our special artist," he is on the spot. His greatest
enjoyment is when lhe has a case on." Ire loves the atmosphere of
the Old Bailey, and is of much importance when in a court. His
hig-hest ambition is to be an inspector ; and when lie arrives at that
p 'liat, he is much more bumptious than the magistrate, or the Lord
iLtydr himself. He is great in a public procession, and is admirable
int the way in which he keeps back the crowd. He is never seen
to play, seldom to smile. It is said that in his barracks he will
gambol with his fellows, play at making prisoners, and giving
in charge. Of late years he has taken to music, and is strong
with the bassoon. In lonely neighborhoods lie longs to practise
Shiis music in the open air, and has been discovered practising
his flute fingering on his staff. The policeman has but a melan-
choly life, has small pay, and does his duty well. A policeman
Ihas been known to turn poet, but ho is never a politician. lIe
despises the crowd, and always believes the accused guilty. lie
knows the worst side of human life, and looks upon all mankind as
possible thieves and rogues. lie has a general doubt of innocence,
but yet generally turns out a good husband and father. ie lo:,is
down upon the public as in the aggregate a stupid, blundering, help
lss animal, always getting robbed and run over. He is not without
a certain tenderness of heart, and he often exercises this upon the
p)'or destitute thief, whom he pities whilst lie condemns, for if his
profession teaches hardness and scepticism to human good, it also
te aches that people are not so bad as theyseem. Finally, the "Peeler,"
the "Bobby," the "'Crusher," or the" intelligent young officer," is
to be regarded as a useful member of society, for we are all of
us more or less indebted to the MLN IN BLUE.


 THE BRITISHERS CRUMPLED UP.
 [From t/he New York Kieirt'lic lcrald. I

 T this moment (and we stop tlih press to
 -- announce the import ant intelligence) wo
 have received, per steamer Srt Scrpi 'l't,
 S- CAl'. OAKis, which was detained ouiiidtl
 -_ -- the harbour two hours in a fog, ti fit, l-
 lowing astounding dispatch from n:lhg-
 __ land:-In conse(1 ietnce of the stioppui:o
 of the American trade, Liverpool is Id-
 vrtised to be sold by aii tion, in (inn
 lot; a'ichesterlevelled, and laid do iit
 -- in meadows for graziTng hiih and St 5,'t
 cattle (no foreign allowed,as DlIit \i, 1,1 ilt:
 Shaken it on lense) N 31ii:ts, thlle l11idt,I,
 -, Have a conltrnct to rct aN wall cilin 1v
 around irlmliinghlan, ito formal it, il io ii.
 ,vast uniontAfll ,'c-i ot 10) '' hnor.-
 ftr thoe rccepioni of lthe por mintttli-

 .I l of Elg'lah nd,it is ;- 1, d on'(h n
 Ia stia ot got a i ipl i ints till, Inhhii- ht
 theo wholt I)uildingis diiply. 'IT i Nit,
has so much time, that they aro p'isley-ing ou(t, olltr lihir-:; to
mi up. Tlihe corporation of London exists no n'tre; lu)i 0hial of Il'
a'dermen seen s to increase, particnlalrly ton oi'ltl tli'he h)hl ilt:.;ll .
The impossibility to collect revenue has coming lh d Ilth QI( 1.1 \ (11io
Queen of the World) to quit Iluclkinghant I' nce, and lit- i]t 'r
SPJlR rGEON's Meutsic 1;ll (a ireiat pity). ''lite hl.it('ih ld ft fi nr
disbanded, and Windsor Ca.Gtlo turn((d into mi ranks fr Il1- \l.h-
teers, -who do the duty of the regular :ian1y. ('o. In.', l I lN ,
Commander-in Chief, has removed hiis irld-qiarlers (nillliltuih,
as lie never i iglht, he is not likely to litve Ili heli'd in (iarte'irs) ftl'tiit
the chateau of Whitceross-street to the 11orso (G yards, wlwre in
ftituro all applications to take thelo benefit of any nat noit doniie a Ie o be
addressed. N.'.PO.Oa,N with his usual disinicrected ideas, (Cod lIes
hlim!) offers to garrison PFortsmouth, PI'ymouth, and C(ibirathir,
against tlto expected alslck by tlholgrand s '-!ns-!i' n niivy, wlic.]l, wlI.n
they get the ships (on the nmill.t), will be ile li grcalest (thing !ilintl,
except their floating debt. Anil, ( i( a -'' ;or li the ]'li;' o
V.ALES (thil- forCm t mO o1f1 ll l hi0 s V(1 ii .-') ll t itl:ti a iitllimaii in a
lawyer's offlic in the Temple, and cmiiicd (on hi dui hs (which Ie
never neglects) on the 1st in.i., bit wisi so (i ut, al. f eli ws (h.,i tlih
governor lent him somi toga-ryn and anioldli;ti,asid paid liim ,i (tnl tli (rr'
salary in advance, which was, very act(,phltbl, a;4 lthe hlubl-ll(worllld
young fellow-(his appearance, however, will ;non got lhini a land-
some rich wife to boilc r hiis c i'ctisinstan('s) ish-l d (o ial:o h nlo
-oetihiig nice for his kind mother and flihlr, who h ia doie so
much for him.
 The above de'p:l tch ith editor ocf I(e ', ri'i i 'il ,ucl (nm aIl ur lit lit
grand American people is a motnwlaous thltA. Tlie &d'spnit l]', hliowrvr,
carries truth and 'simplicity on its Fthe, an: wa sa id of ,Jtli
Al ut Rii. OrciL' 'S tfac, when wvorshipping fili iien' c'i ;utiiii]s al,
Southampton; and although the Briitishlra have lnot l'viaitl tIir
American classic Republic with thliat veneuration and respect duo to

ness, and have opened ata our oiico a O sbsciritliotn l'r I tt lih stivinl;
population of the doelnct Bitilish Eml)ir'e,-a few oldcontton gowns for
the women, and a chew of tobacco fbr the men.



 ONE WAY 01 ],eOeL(IN(; AT T.-T I, commonly )believed in1 ll00r['(1,
that the duty is now taken oil' paper. This is quit.o a iisila]:; fur,
considering that wo have now paper hlis, paper ctlll r -, paper
bonnets, and paper everything, it is very ovidient tha!, fir lrin )m t'lo
duty being taken olf, many fresh ones have been imposed hon lhii, very
useful article.
 ITr FOLOWS, or couSi,'n.--In one of ihen halfpinny jouirnnls wo
find thie announcfeomnti of a new story called Crit n .tr tits ilPvi;rlsh-
mcd. We can quite nuidfrstand lhat, frlo tlhe in lre O ti 0Iory,
it was a crime to write it, and certainly that it will b); a p1m)islinI',l,
to read it, which forms, as tho author may see, a very pretty silmit r
indeed.
 AwvrU.-TfC M1r.sss. DEFir.s, the well-known Hebrnew gas-enginers
of ioundsditcl, were to leave their premises, why ought, fl-ir
neithbours at once to consult a phlysitia: n ?- -lHcause they'd be
suffering under a derangement of tLhe I, ,-trirdk J'.is .