NOVEMBER 9, 1861.]


IFU 4N.


SO. AT LEAST, THINKS PUMP-COURT, Q.C.


 "Members of the Inns of Court Volunteers who attend the
 Conversazione at the opening of the Middle Temple Library
 will appear in Uniform, wcithoit icig and gown."-(Vide Times,
 29th October.)
 That's unfortunate, as the combination of uniform would have
 been novel and effective.



 ON HER MAJESTY'S SERVICE.
 CONSIDERABLE interest continues to be felt in the practical opera-
tion of the new scheme for the establishment of post-office savings
banks. The officials are very properly forbidden to reveal the names
of depositors; but we have it from pretty good authority that MR.
TIoImA BARING, LORD OVERSTONE, the MARQUIS or WESTMINSTER,
and MR. CHARLES MATIIEWS, have not yet availed themselves of the
facilities of investment thus afforded to the frugal and industrious
public. Sums of money have notwithstanding been already deposited
in every office yet opened, with the solitary exception of that at
Cowby. The postmaster of this important town, not having yet
received a single shilling, was written to, in terms of dignified rebuke,
by the head of the London office, who desired him to work the
scheme with more energy, and keep his superior constantly informed
as to its progress. The postmaster humbly replied that lie was ever
anxious to do his possibles; and that he had mentioned the subject
to a young man, who had promised to call, and was not very unlikely
to deposit. Last Friday the following telegrams were received at
St. Martin's-le-Grand:-
 .Cowby, 9.10, A.M.
 The young man is coming up the High Street. May I ask him what he will
take? I am ever anxious to do my possibles.
 Cowby, 9.15, A.M.
 The young man has turned into the Chequers. Will go and fetch him out,
 and am ever anxious to do my possibles.
 Cowby, 2.39, Pv.r.
 Have been grossly insulted and struck by young man most brutal cowardly
 way. Not going stan. Regret to state post office robbed in absence, but ever
 anxious do possibles.

 COnuIORT roR A REJECTED ACADEMNICI.AN.-Hanging's too good for
 him.
 CONUNDRUM BnY OUR FANCY BAKER.-When is bread most accept-
 able ?-When it's 1:neaded.


 PLEBEIAN BALLADS.
 Adapted (for thejfirst time) to Aristocratic Circles.
 No. 8.-THE BALLAD OF THE PROVINCIAL YOUNG GENTLEMAN.
 eot to be confounded with The Young Man from the Country."
 I' r a youth up from the provinces,
 It's my first visit here,
 I've heard of London sights and thieves,
 Of London milk and beer;
 I come from Cheshire, and my hon e
 Is on the River Dee,
 I'm perfectly provincial,
 But you don't get over me.
 The first day that I stepped without
 My lodgings, on a dog
 I trod, I couldn't see it,
 There was such a yellow fog.
 My friends said though its stifling,
 It's as wholesome as can be,
 I'm perfectly provincial,
 But I beg to disagree.
 When it had cleared away they led
 Me to Trafalgar-square,
 Said they, "If you like architec-
 ture only look up there,
 That is the Briton's boast and prije,
 The National Gallercc?'
 I'm perfectly provincial,
 But its beauties I don't see.
 I went to i'- Princess's,
 Where a ir rcnchman played Othello,
 Some people said he wasn't good
 Because he did'nt bellow.
 lago he dragged down upon
 His trembling bended knee;
 I'm perfectly provincial,
 But that's wrong decidedlee.
 He saw his brown face in a glass,
 Though in the text we find,
 That even Desdlcmona read
 His visage in his mind."
 But lie's as great an actor as
 You'd ever wish to see,
 I'm '.. .. f l- provincial,
 But we've none so good as lio.
 I sought t; House of Parliamont,
 'Tis not completed yet,
 And saw the stonework peeling off
 Already with the wet.
 Said I, decaying e'er it's done,
 No, no, it cannot be !
 I'm perfectly provincial,
 But oh! Sin CIIARLES BAnARCC."




 DOMESTIC COOKERY.
 To maicke a Sausage :oll.--Carry your sausage cautiously t6 hle i6,
of the nearest hill, and trfindle it carefully down.
 To male a Triflc.-Buy FUN for a penny, and sell it at its l tru
value.
 .Tain Tart.-Place your tart in the hinge of the door, and close
briskly.
 Open Tart.-Insert your knife carefully, and lift off the upper
crust.
 To Collar Beef.-Watch your opportunity, snatch up briskly, and
carry home under your coat.
 Rim Slhru.b.--Pull up your gooseberry bush, and plant upside
down.
 A Good Stuvf!ing.--The Lonn MAvYo'S dinner.
 Hardbake.- Place your pastry in a fierce oven, and forget all
about it.
 Dripping Dumplings.-Pop into water, and snatch out again.
 Honey Drops.-Place your honey in a cullender, and watch the
effect from beneath.


Ti)


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