F T N.


 AN UNFINISHED NEIGHBOURHOOD.
 Mild Gentleman (who has lost his host's address) :-"PRAY, MY FRIEND, CAN YOU TELL ME IF THERB IS A PARTY ANYWHERE IN THIS
 SQUARE ? "
 Dustmat :-"PARTY, GUV'NOR? No, I AINT SEEN NO PARTY. OH, YES! STOP A BIT! I DID SEE A TALL, ROUND-SHOULDERED PARTY,
 WITH ONE III AND A DAWG "


 ALMANACK AND DIARY. FANCY GARDENING.-Damp a postage stamp and sow mustard and
 cress, it has a very pretty effect on a writing desk. Plant your foot firmly
 METEOROLOGICAL AND ASTRONOMICAL NOTICES. somewhere ready for a good spring into your neighbour's garden,-you may
 Several Stars will be visible to the naked eye during the present month at look for a speedy return.
 Drurv Lane. KITCHEN GARDEN FOI NOVEMBER.-Dig deep into the vegetable and
 Wind E.C. [80, Flect-street]-very fair according to the last report. fruit rows to see how everything is getting on. If not satisfied, say so.
 SS. of Europe [blowing up for a stormj-expected before our next. To save expense, transplant your neighbour's available shrubs to your own
 garden. Select good dry soil for Greek roots.
 To SAVE A PERSON FROM DROWNING.-Run to him at once. Throw
 OCTOBER. your great coat over him, roll the patient in it until quite dry, at the rate
 of two shillings an hour. Stamp on his hands and face to restore anima-
 27 S At St. Paul's, BLONDIN as usual, tion, and drink his health in several glasses of stiff brandy and water.
 28 M Meeting at the Turnstile, Holborn, for the benefit of the In-
 fant Orphans' Parent's Support Society. Dance of Cord-
 wainers, and other festivities.
 29 Tu The M1OULVIE OF OUDE will lay the first one of the New CHROMATIC AMPUTATION.-We recently read a dramatic criticism
 Hospital for Voluntary Contributions, Short's-gardens. which, in speaking of the omission of the music of an operetta, said
 30 W FUN comes out. Illustrations and illuminations. that it suffered from the injudicious application of the harmonic
 31 Tu Moon rises at 9 A.M., and breakfasts at half-past. CUBITT pruning-knife!" Harmonic pruning-knife is good; but did not the
 is expected to rise considerably next year. critic mean to say harmonic tuning-fork ?
 CHEESE AND DESSERT -The BISHOP OF DURHAM elect (DR. BARING)
 NOVEMBER. has appointed the REV. E. CHEESE, rector of Haughton-le-Skerne, to
 I F Fir a of Noe e i ear, i entirely n be his chaplain. If we could presume that the wearer of a mitre
 Fiscenery, dressce of November this year, with entirely ne might err, we should consider the appointment a piece of CHEESE-
 scenery, dresses, and appointnents. Racing in sacks, economy.
 cricket, blind-hookey, and regatta (at Kennington Oval), by BARING economy.
 PROFESSOR FARADAY and the Benchers of Lincoln's Inn. TRUE, IN ONE SENSE.-" Everything England undertakes she does
 2 8 Election of LORD MAYOR's Fool. Candidates, SPURGEON and with credit."-C. Matthews.
 the Poet Cs SE. ny one allowed to be bribed on the pre- EASILY PLEASED.-The individual who told his physician, the other
 mises. No Irish needapply. day, that he was perfectly satisfied he had consumption, is the same
 Fi.owER riADEN FOR NOVEMBER.--NoW is the time for forcing. If who, a few years ago, was transported with delight.
you are not n good whist player, the simplest plan will be to make good ASK BARON BRAMWELL.-When a judge retires from the bench,
use of your best spade and a little art. may he be said to lay down the law "


 London : Printed and Published (for the Proprietors) by CHARLES WIIYTE, at the OMce, 8, leet Street, E.C.-Saturday, November 2,18S1.