NOVEMBER 2, 1861.]


FrUN.


Landlady's Daughter :-" MAMMA SAYS, SIR, THE APARTMENTS ARE FOR SINGLE GENTLEMIEN.."
Youthful Swell:-"On! HAw! FcrT Is, I AM NOT A MARRIED MAN!"


 PRETTY BEHAVIOUR,
 OF course, we are aware that to know one's proper place and
keep it" is an essential part of good manners. We had, it is true,
associated the words more with the idea of recognizing and being
satisfied with our due position in the social scale, than with any notion
of confining our personal whereabouts to a precise locality; but it
seems in the eyes of certain Huntingdonshire magistrates it is not
only improper, but positively "indecent," to select a seat other than
our accustomed one; and, moreover, that to do so (supposing we
were a poor country lad) would subject us to a penalty which even
in its "mitigated" form amounts to five shillings sterling.
 As it is only right that the worthy magistrates who have made this
discovery in good manners should have all the credit of the invention,
we will, as briefly as possible, quote a recent case:-
 "A short time since, at the bench held at St. Neots, before CAPTAIN REYNOLDs,
CAPTAIN HUMBLEY, and S. NEWTON, EsQ., William Woods, a lad aged sixteen,
was summoned at the instance of the REv. EDMuND MARKS:AM HEALE, the rector
of Yelling, Hunts, for indecent behaviour in the parish church."
 We must confess, on reading thus far, our indignation against
WILLIAM WOODs (spite of his youth and inexperience) was of the
strongest. Indecent conduct in any place is unpardonable, but in a
church is absolutely intolerable. What had the young scamp been
guilty of P We read on in fear and trembling, horrified at the wicked-
ness we were about to meet with:-
 The rev. complainant, on being sworn, stated that during service on the day
in question, he noticed that the lad was sitting in a place in which he ought not
to have sat-namely, he was sitting by himself, instead of with the other boys."
 Very wrong, certainly. If WILLIAM WooDS ought not to have
sat" by himself but "with the other boys"-why then he oughtn't !
(We boldly defy contradiction so far.) But of what else had WILLIAM
Woons been guilty? Let the reverend complainant say on:-
 "He (the complainant) stopped the service, and went to the boy. He desired
him to move. He did not do so, but laughed in his face. He deemed it right,
therefore, to make an example of him."
 Well, we would not for the world be thought irreverent; but had


we been in the defendant's place, and had we scon the parson leaviFng
off his duties in the middle to come and tell us where to Hit, we
almost fancy that we should have laughed ourselves. And possibly,
were we residing ii St. Neots, should havo "an example made of
us, as he had. For we find that-
 "The magistrates convicted the lad of the offence charged, and adjudged him
to pay a mitigated penalty of flvo shillings."
 Let us hope, however, that, thanks to a suggestion thrown out
during the proceedings by the churchwardon of the place, such
horrible depravity as that evinced by WILLIAM Woons will be impos-
sible in future.
 "The churchwarden (MR. JlETA) was called, but he evidently knew nothing of
the matter; and, referring to the rhirr'n -ohmteered it as his opinion, that la
sexton had better be got, to crump -i.. i..., :' heads with a stick.'"
 Right, MR. BELL! Crump the boys' heads" by all means (what-
ever that may mean), if crumping will prevent a repetition of such
scenes. And let a sexton do it certainly in preference to tlo parson.
A clergyman having to leave his pulpit in the midst of public worship
to show a good-for-nothing little boy his proper place!-(wo don't hoar
he was doing any harm though, except that he preferred to be alone).
In truth, there was "indecent behaviour" that day in the church;
but we don't think that WILLIAM WOODS behaved the most indecently.



 (H)oDD, BUT EVEN so.-The journeymen bricklayers of Norwilh
recently petitioned their employers for an advance of sixpence a day
upon their present wages, and the entire building trade of the city
have agreed to give the required advance. Bravo! If all other em-
ployers in the building trade cemented this tone of feeling with sich
a-mason liberality, we should hear less of POTTEr's cla-mours. a sisters
of bricklayers, indeed! When such masters meet in anything like
numbers they become layers of bricks!


 A TITLE BY PRESCRIPITION."-A physician's haronetcy.


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