NOVEMBER 2, 1861.]


F TJN.


 A FRAGMENT.

 Young Snipe (100th iiiddlesex) :- "An You snourLD B'LONG TO ouus.
GOT AN OUT AN OUT UNIFORM, A STUNNING lAND, AND WE'RE THIE FINEST MEN
coRPs !"


 PLEBEIAN BALLADS.
 A.dtptid (Jfr the fir'rs tim) 1, Aristocratic Cir,'cs.
 No. 7.-TIIiE AlISTOCi.AT'S :iiTEi.

 Suggested by lihe Iatlcacher's.

 N Westminster, some years igo,
 There lived an aristocrat's daughter;
 Her parents were of tip-top birlli,
 And up they very well lind brought her:
 She had existed, it was said,
 Of a century a quarter,
 SAnd no one seemed inclined to Nwed
 This proud aristocrat's daughter.

 S She wore a hat upon her head,
 The very latest aishion,
 IHer waist, extremely contrac-ted,
 She placed a school-girls' sash on;
 She went in-with a pretty pout,--
 For indiscriminate slaughter,
 But no one seemed to care niaout
 This noble aristocrat's daughter.

 Well, things had been going a year above,
 In tlis unsatisfhctory manner,
 Whlien with the young mania she fell in love,
 Who had come to tune the planner;
 It was a thing to do the wlich
 Of course she didn't oughtcr,
 But then she argued, Pa is rich,"
 Did this splendid aristocrat's daughter.

 Now when her father found out the games
 That she had been carrying on, then,
 He handed the youth first over to J AMES,
 Who handed him over to JoN, then.
 These flunkeys two heat him black and blue,
 He was then kicked out by the porter,
 Whilo in direst despair, tear away at her I::ir,
 Did the luckless aristocrat's daughter.

 Then she went raving mad, which was terrible
 sad,
 And all the day sLng Vaga Luniia,
 S And went everywhere, crying out in despil ir,
 "Could youi tell nme what's come to ,,
 tuner ? "
 Then her tbther grew gray, and quite w:.itl
 away,
 And at last took to spirits ond waihr,
WE VE T' pipcs nd tL I" lit," i:id I o ii)reci)0s Ilee p i.',
IN ANY I Through his most disobedieut daughter.


 IMPORTANT FROM AMERICA.
 GENERAL INDIGNATION has seized upon the city of New York. The capital (both at and
of) Washington is in the hands of General Depression. General Rumour is particularly
busy, and his movements cannot be traced. It is very doubtful whether General Incom-
petency will be succeeded in the head of tthe government by General Anarchy or General
Despotism, the latter the favourite. T ide seems to have fallen before General Dulness,
and it is doubtful whether General Want will not shortly overpower the working classes.
 The best friends of the Americans lay most- of their misfortunes to that silly and pre-
posterous person to whom they were so much attached, General Bragg, and their acts
under his guidance were such as to expose them to a very raking fire, and much cutting
up from the sharp-shooters of General Ridicule. It is notorious that they have already
too many officers who do not know their business, but it is to be hoped that a General
Revival will make his appearance before they fall into the hands of General Contempt.


 "DON'T CRY-BUT TRY."
 THE Times the other day contained an advertisement commencing thus:-
 W ILL MISSING.-ONE THOUSAND POUNDS REWARD.
 It then went on to describe the missing Will, and to give the names of the solicitors,
who on production of the Will in question would pay the very handsome reward offered.
We were forcibly struck with the shrewd, business-like common sense of the parties so
anxious for the recovery of the missing Will. How very much more sensible it is to try
to remedy a loss than merely to deplore it. How very much more rational to offer a
large reward to get the missing Will restored, than to give utterance to useless lamenta-
tions in whining out-
 "Oh! WILLIE, we have misscle you! "


Then he wastddhis substiince, and got \I'vry )pr,
 I And his nose grew as red Hs a sro;e, 11 n,
And he found his acquaintance grew fewor mil
 fewer,
 Through the ends of his boots pee'd his:i toe,;,
 then.
And things did co,'' to so foeu'ful :i pass,
 Ilis petition hlie iled to t.h1 court-i,
Anid hlie got, a certificate of tho tiird ,
 And he'd no oii to thalnl: but hisH dsii'lite1'r.


tiln thLe la.llcss young main who had tunLldl ih1'
 piain-
 0(: '' i. I y;o, Lyung ldy;
Thie lli I... t ,li, grow exceedingly wild,
 Wlhen she thought on her prospect s slim'.
Slhe is uow forty-three, and it's probable shi.
 Will ne'er get anybody to court her,
And she's cut by the wh ole of tlie a.ristocr;,.:
 Is this noble aristocrat': daughter.'


Now the moral to-day I vish to, oonvey-
 Sonc are born witl "l Ivor spo)n in
Their mouths, while .... 1i.. 1, who ar0 i!o
 as good as t'otheris,
 Ar 1)but born for pi i!moif)lb! t1i11ing.
And a house well to At infd must lhve 'godi li!-k .

 A stated quantity o 'i morl-lr,
T'". .. 1 Ihe mortar doesn't mix, of cou 1% rle, ;i
 li. bricks,
 ]:It eachli is a mutual supporl;r.


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