NOVEMBER 2, 1861.]


FTU T,


took a boat (the owner being absent, I rowed myself), and crossed
over to Stanz.
 June 8 and 9.-Interlachen.-Not caring to do the thing by halves,
 took up my quarters at the best hotel. Table d'hote good; bed
 ditto; breakfast ditto; after breakfast walked as fast as possible along
 the Lanterbrunnen Road-first peep of Italy and the Bridge of Sighs.
 Food is exceedingly cheap. To give you a notion of how exceedingly
 cheap I found everything, I subjoin a list of articles which are in
 England looked upon as luxuries :-
 s. d.
 Breakfast, with eggs, roast beef, muffins, fried potatoes,
 strawberries, saur kraut, dried prunes, via ordinaire,
 shrimps-(in English money) 0 3
 June 12.-Arrived at Zermatt.-Knowing Switzerland rather better
than Regent-street, I at once looked out for my old short cut to
the top of Mont Blanc, and having found it, set off to ascend
for the hundredth time the monarch of mountains. I ran up as far
as the Grand Mulets, where I stopped to direct a party of guides
who had lost their way. Reached the summit in six hours and three
minutes-somewhat over my usual time. I stop at Chamouni, and
shall return as I came. For a ten days' trip, one shilling per diem
must be allowed for all expenses. I do not think," says an expo-
riepced traveller, that it can be done under that sum."
 s. d.
 London to Boulogne (qratuiftyto stoker, pint of beer) 0 0
 Boulogne to Basle (gratlity to conductor not to tell) 0 1 0
 Basle to Luccme 0 0 0
 Rigi Hotel (stopped here- but not to pay) .0 0 0
 Boat from Woggis to Stanz (not including boatman) 0 0 0
 Total 0 1 2
And so on, observing the same economical system.
 I write to you from Chamouni, and shall be happy on my return to
do Russia, Constantinople, or Cape Horn on the same terms.-Yours
truly, H. WALKEII.
 :,i Our correspondent's letter bears a London postmark. We
strongly suspect that we and not Switzerland have been done.-ED.
 Tuesday night, 12 o'clock.-We are right. Il. W. is in Bow-street.
We will not bail him. Vengeance!




 OUR GENUINE CORRESPONDENTS.

 GREAT novelist, who amuses his
 leisure hours by editing a popular
 magazine, lately described his
 position as that of a man who had
 "thorns in the cushion" on which
 he was supposed to be gracefully
 .- and comfortably reclining. At
 the first blush this appears to be
 -~-. a somewhat strong simile, but we
 -- 7 must add our little penny trumpet
 t note of acquiescence in the defini-
 tion of an editor's position, with
 the trifling amendment that for
 "thorns" in the cushion, read
 S t bayonets, scythes, organ-barrels,
 t ops of garden walls, and steel
 S- pens. Such penny irritators as
 '. J thorns are trifles compared with
 the hideous instruments oftorturo
 on which the Editor of FUNb has
 almost diurnally to settle down.
Of course we are open to attack, and of course we are exceedingly
thin-skinned; r nsequently our sufferings, like the feelings of the
penny-a-liner, can be "better imagined than described." Not to keep
the reader any longer jn suspense, we will favour him with a few
genuine specimens, selected and decidedly original. Very many of
them have the names and addresses of the writers. These, of course,
we shall not give; but we assure the reader that they are bond fide
contributions. The following is in a neat, scratchy, illegible lady's
hand, the tails of the y's, and the loops of the h's mingled in admired
confusion; the letter is crossed, and the punctuation is, to say the least,
eccentric :-
 "DEAB SIR,-I am a young widow with two children, and much time on my
hands. My eldest boy-he is seven, and has strong artistic predilections-is
anxious to do you a few drawings. I am, of course, not vain enough to imagine
them perfect, but who knows what he may become ? HooGARs was only seven
once. No remuneration would be expected for some years.--Your obedien
servant, "EUpnrosxrEs."


 We were unable to offer the young gentleman a satislhctory engage-
 mout, and we have not heard again from EilenIosiYNE.
 This is bold, at all events:-
 MR. EDITO,--Your now publication is the worst I ever saw. I have not
 read the letter-press, and don't mean to.-Youris, losll."
 The next is fiom a poet:-
 Sir,-Having written a tragedy, which MR. FTA.coNeR, of the Lyceum, lias
 refused, I feel confident that my talent lies in another direction. As this is
 the case, if you will let me know the scale of remuilerallon on your perioldicil,
 I should not object to knock you off' few unconsidered trifles' when 1 am
 'i' the vein.' I enclose specimens, the worst 1 have ever done."
 We believe him. But Mlt. FALCONERA should have had another
 look at the tragedy; from the specimens lie sent us of his comic
 powers we should think there might be something in it.
 The following contains some sound advice:-
 On the whole, your publication is creditaele. have better type. The paper,
 too, must be improved. Couldn't you change the title? KIeep your eye on i our
 artists, and avoid politics."
 The following correspondent holds different opinions:-
 "With such capital paper and printing, one naturally expects something
 better in the way of reading. Refbrm it altogether.' Rlemn! Shakspeare."
 A straightforward creature says :-
 "Kick that fellow who drew the Swell of the Sea.'"
 One kind friend sent the following conundrum:-
 Why is the Editor of FUN like a donkey ?"
 We turned over the page to read the reply, but thero was none.
 The conclusions we are forced to draw from this are most unpleasant.
 The following came like a soothing draught after theso very strong,
 unpleasant potions :-
 "A very good pennyworth, unpretentious, and sufliciently sensile in ils
 absurdity. Certain to succeed and counteract a good deal of seuliiim'lal
 Stwaddle. Don't be afraid of going at shams. People like pluck, and IL very
 little stinging nettle can irritate an exceedingly big mtl. Never pander to
Spumps, and take nobody's advice but your own."
 The following letter is really too good to be omitted, and though it
 turns the laugh against ourselves, we givelit insertion, if it is only to
 prove that if we have no very great wit, we are plentifully provided
 with good temper :-
 "Sin,-I have read with infinite L. .,'..I .u and sincere pleasure your 'I',
 weakly' issues of a serious work i'l i *., ind truth compels me top lrolailt
 it a most exemplary production,-so exemplary, indeed, that, would you believe
 me when I tell you, that my cachinatory powers, although genially speaking
 of a very loose and susceptible nature, refused at once ... ..i ;. ... ii...
 approaching a smile in the perusal of FuN? As an :a..-.... .
 derived under the influence of yolr smol-soothling ,ork, I .. I. 1. ... .
 each number with feelings and emotions somewhat akin 1o those exlurinced in
 the quiet and tranquil contemplation of such hallowed works lNs 1Ali nv's
 iMeditations, or YouNG-'s Night Tholigits. continue thereIlore, istcadfistly lind
 perseveringly in the good path that you have assiglnedl your"elif, ind I predict,
 as all sober-minded men will, a success even beyond your most sunguiulo
 expectations.-Yours, etc., rI'"usi;:u ."
 We might go on at this rate until Iho reader canto to the cr'nclu-
 sion that we were taking him in. As wo are anxious that lie should
 take us in, we conclude for the present, though we niak no opiroiises
 not to continue laying before the public at intervals the opinions of
 our very dear friends who, we know very well, flattn' their IIOFes
 against the panes of our office at an early hour on Wi(dnesdlay, and
 never move on until they have read us through every line. Amin
 then, how comforting it is to know that our circulation'is iincrra:ting
 enormously every week; that the balloon on our -.1i. 1. 1.-. is blown
 throughout the length and breadth of the land; that our sallies "
 convulse "old haunts" and new neighborhoods ; that our paIp '
 grace the decks of the steamboats and the library of the peer ; that
 the cabmen who purchase us "drive a roaring" trade ; that the
 barristers in the back rooms "dash their wigs in delight at ius; tluil,
 theatrical managers feel a pan-ic when they see our critic in his small ;
 and that we have as much cause to be delighted with an unii prre-
 dented success, as the British public has with the iebdomadal oippr-
 tunity it enjoys of purchasing such a publication for the ridiculously
 small sum of one penny.




 JUST THE DIrFTERECE.--Tho scribe who furnishes the paragraphs
 of the Court Journal confidentially informs his readers that when in
 Scotland "IHER MAJESTY uses a kind of Alpine stick, or lung pole, to
 help her in her arduous walks,"-a very interesting fact; the dif-
 ference between the QUEEN and the Person ovre the water being
 this,--that HmE MAJESTY enjoys herself in her walks with a long polo,
 whilst he of Biarritz and Compiegne employs himself with the long
 bow.


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