F TU*N.


[OCTOBEB 26, 1861.


- -P


 LATEST FROM SOUTH AFRICA.

Snall Boy :-" OH! BILL! PAINTT THE CHRISTIAN MINSTRELS A-WALKING INTO
 THE NATIVES!"


 "NIL DURPAN."

 SIR,-I am shocked, grieved, disap-
pointed. Oh, Sir! Is there no balm of
Gilead to heal this wound? Have I des-
cribed for such a length of time to Mis-
sionary Societies only to find that a member
of one of those bodies has actively translated
a profane play,-from the Hindostanee, I
believe,-and called it Nil Dustpan, or some
such low and abdomenable title ? And see
the evil it has caused; for they tell me that
there is a great many riots already in
India,-and no wonder.-I remain, Sir,
your grossly received,
 AMELIA LAMBKIN.
 New Ebenezer Walk, Brixton.


 TIMELY WARNING.
 AN advertisement repeated daily in the
newspapers last week when we had
already advanced somewhat far towards
the middle of the present month, and one
which is, we believe, still going on in the
self-same words, informs us that-
 "The Leeds Mercury will appear as a dailypaper
from the 1st of October wxT !"
Surely there is no such a great hurry to
inform us of the fact. Twelve months all
but a few days would seem to be a some-
what lengthy notice to give of the intended
change.

 WHY is a man who is chaffing you like
FRANCATELLI ? Because he's a quizzin'
yer! (cuisinier).


 CURIOSITIES OF (ADVERTISING) LITERATURE.
 PEOPLE are in the habit of complaining that at this dull period of
the year there is nothing in the papers." Quite a mistake. It is
people's own fault; they don't look in the right place for entertaining
and instructive reading. Do they ever cast their eyes over the
advertising columns? There they might find problems which would
puzzle an (Edipus,-assertions of facts so novel and so unexpected,
that they might well furnish matter for a week's reflection; while for
style of writing, there is frequently to be found a terseness and a
vigour of expression, not to mention startling novelties of grammatical
construction, unapproached in any other branch of literature. Here,
for instance, are a few gems that we have picked up during the last
few days from the numerous list of Wants in a contemporary:-
 "E NL COLT wants a housemaid's place. Ipreferpublic to private.-Address
for ELIZ COLE, at Mr. -, High-street, ShadweU, Ratcliffe."
 Will the reader be good enough to name the public writer who can
say so much in so few words ? No beating about the bush-no
periphrastical nonsense about "it was a lovely evening in October
when the young ELIZA, having packed up the one trunk which enclosed
her worldly goods, departed from that home where, in the capacity
ef housemaid," etc. No; with a bold, outspoken, manly vigour, the
writer at once informs us that "ELIZA COLE wants a housemaid's
place." There is something so straightforward in the way in which
this is placed before us, that we are not at all astonished af the con-
fession of the writer's own inmost predilections which follows.
Having in half-a-dozen words informed us all about ELIZA's wishes,
and so done with her, the writer tells us, I" (whoever "I" may be)
"prefer public to private" (whatever that may mean). Then having
eased his mind by this admission of his own likings, he returns to
ELIZA's business, and tells us where to address "for" her. His own
address is wrapped in mystery. We should be glad to hear from
him.
 Immediately following this advertisement we have another, which
inform us of a fact that we venture to say the Royal Geographical
Society itself did not know until this minute. The advertiser wants
two servants, and duly describes the nature of the situations offered.


We need not give'the whole advertisement, as it is only the conclusion
that interests us; here it is:-
 "Apply this day, from 11 till 2, 34, Manchester-street, Manchester-square. It
is in the neighbourhood of Sydenham. No Scotch or Irish.'
 "Manchester-street, Manchester-square, in the neighbourhood of
Sydenham! Often as we have been in that street, often as we have
visited the Crystal Palace, we never until now had the least idea that
the two places were contiguous. And then the final sentence, "No
Scotch or Irish." Is it indeed the case that in all Manchester-street,
Manchester-square, which is in the neighbourhood of Sydenham,
there are neither Scotch nor Irish? The absence of the latter
nationality we could understand, but the idea of any place under
heaven in which there were no Scotchmen passes our comprehen-
sion.
 One more advertisement and we have done, at any rate for the
present. Amongst all the varied wants announced, what the-- we
were very nearly writing a naughty word, and if we had it would
have been the advertiser's fault, not ours. Well, then, without
using strong expressions, what does the reader think our advertiser
needs? We will give it in his own words:-
 "Wanted, the use of a Devil, with rather fine teeth and rapid revolution, to
clean a small quantity of a fibrous material as an experiment. A fair remunera-
tion will be given.-Address, etc."
 There! Let the reader observe, the advertiser only wants the use
of one (we refrain from writing the word, although our conscientious
objections do not extend to cutting it out of less scrupulous papers
and inserting it). He only wants the use of one, we repeat; does not
intend to buy one out and out-as who, indeed, would like to have
such a thing constantly about him? He wants one with fine teeth
(who is to be the victim bitten by them ?) and of a rapid revolution
too. There was a of' a rapid revolution in Italy a short time
since. (We had nearly written the naughty word again.) Will that
suithim? If so, he had better apply to GARIBALDI. What next will
people advertise for? "Wanted, the use of a (the reader
knows what it is that is required)! What the (as before) can
the man want it for ? Yet people tell us there is nothing in the
papers!


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