OCTOBER 12, 1861.] IN"_. 41


 Young Artist:-" MY PIPE DON'T DRAW."
 Dry old ditto:-" PERHAPS IT NEVER WAS TAUGHT."
 Young Artist:--"ALL RIGHT! BUT YOU SEE IT COLOURS, WHY NOT
DRAW ?"



 PLEBEIAN BALLADS.
 Adapted. (for the first time) to Aristocratic Circles.

 No. a-THE BALLAD: OFPLORD BATEMAN.
 L'Ra BATERAAN;was a noble lord,
 A noble lord: of high degree,
 A neost distinguished member of
 The-Biitish aristocracy.
 He bought a yacht; he thought it was
 "The pwoper sort of thing, said he;
 He called himself the Skippa," andl
 He dressed himself like COOKE, T. P.
 lie sailed east, he sailEd west,
 Till he arrived at proud Turkee,
 Where he was seized and made a slave
 By some coarse rovers of Sallee.
 They threw him into prison, were,
 With the exception of a tree,
 There wasn't anything at all
 But toads to keep him company.
 It seems the Grand Turk had a daughter,
 Very fair indeed was she,
 And she brought his bread and water,
 To LORD B. diurnally.
 She stole her parent's bunch of-keys,.
 And lot out from his cell LORD B.
 And when her pa ond out the theft,.
 Ile also let out" dreadfully.
 Oh, have you houses, have you lands,
 And'is Northumberland," says she,
 "Asyou have often, often told me,
 Half of it your property "


" Oh, yes. it is, lv Jovre. lhir danisel,
 Full half Nortlhumberlnd's countth
 Is mine,-or, w:1ther, yours, if out of
 Prison you will set me fwee."
 And then she filled the sparkle ing wi-cnp,
 Said,-" May the present lmonent be
 The worst of our lives,- oh, my lord, I
 Wish that I was LADY B.
 I promise you for seven years I
 Remain will in celibacce,
 If you likewise will promise not to
 Wed with any one but 1me."
 Then she took him to the harbour,
 Where a vessel fit for sea
 She'd had ready, Don't forget your
 Promises, my lord,'' said she.
 Now seven years had passed and gone,
 When this young lidy slid, said she,
 "As dear papa Ihas died a bankrupt
 And no one doth propose to ome;
 I think I'll go to merry England,
 Yes, I'll cross the foaming sea,
 And I'll call and tell LoaR BATiMAN
 That I've just dropped in to tea."


 Who's there ? exclaimed a haughty flunkey,
 "Why are you disturbing mir
 Folks like you should know their station,
 And come down the front airce."
 "Please, is this Loun B.\ATEMAN'S castle ?"
 Which it is, decidedly ;
 With his bride we now lihxpect him,
 Evans why its arf-past three."
 What! his bride my compliments, thon,
 Give to him, and say it's me;
 Say I'm a young lady who has
 Just popped in from proud Turkee."
 Then-the flunkey sought his master,
 With a. quivering lip and knee,
 "Please,.my lord, there's a young 'ooman
 Standing there in the lob-bee,
 Who declares she's come from Tuckoy."'
 Cries LORD BATEMAN, Goodness mo !-
 If my wife should come across her,
 There will be a great shiude."
 Here, the bride's agreeable mother,
 Flew into the room ; said she,
 "'Choose,between these ladies, BATEMAN,
 Which is LADY B: to be P "
 Poor LORD BATEMAN felt, as low folks
 Do express it, up a tree,"
 Rather than promote disturbance,
 WlV, I'll take 'cm both," said he.
 "Monster! cried the young bride's mother;
 Cruelmonster, don't you see,
 If you went and took another,
 That it would be bigamy P"
 "Then, if that's the case," his lordship
 Said; "I'll true and faithful be,
 To my first love." Cries the mother,
 The indelicate hussee !
 Hortense, go and pack my boxes;"
 Hortense, pleased to go, said, Oui;"
 And went screeching as she packed them
 In defiance,," Do, re, mi !"
Then LonD BATEMAN sought SOPIA;,
 And upon his bended knee,
Asked her to forgive him for his
 Most ungrateful memory.
And Strub A, being tallish,
 Overlooked his perfidee;
They were married and no doubt will
 Have a blooming tfmilec.
But the first wife's brought an action,
 Which will come on speedilee,
And I hear she's put her case in-
 to the hands of SERJEArNT SIIEE.