F TJ [OCTOBER 5, 1861. AN AIRY NOTION. - ~ ~ -'-- JorHN THOMiAS TAKES AN 'INT FROM BLONDIN, WHICII ENABLES IIIM TO CARnY ON INs COUITSHIIP WITI LADY DUMFOODLE'S MAID. A SCENE FROM EVERY-DAY LIFE. DRuAMATIS PERSONIE.-BROWN, JONES, ROBINSON, Wags; a PORTER; OURSELF (with a highly cultivated car). SCENE.-ThI interior of a carriage on the London and North- Western Line. JONES, BROWN, ROBINSON, and OURSELF discovered. Time, 9 P.M. Brown. When do we get to Shrewsbury? Jones. Let's see (consults Bradshaw). Oh-here you are-no, that's not it. Oh! Shrewsbury-ten minutes past fift-no-fifteen minutes past ten. Robinson. By the bye, what's the difference between ABIMELECII and the EARsL OF SlREWSBUIRY ? Jones. llas thero been a difference between them ? Robinson. No, no-it's a riddle. Look here,-one's the son of A-iu-TIn, and the other's the son of a Tall-but! Brown. Can't say I see it though. Oh, ah! TALBOT. Just so. Ia! lha! Too bad of you, RoBINsoN. Robinson. I've got another. What is the difference between the deed of the Good Samaritan, and a house devoted to the sale of cheap lish pies ? Jones. Something about crossing over on the other side, I suppose. I always do. Robinson. Not at all (impressively). One's a pious heal and--- Jones and Brown. Yes! Go on. Robinson (Iwhose pluck had almost failed him): And the other's a l'eel pie-'ouse ! Joncs. Fishy-low. Why are riddles like that one of RoBINsoN's like my boots ? Brown. Because the man who makes them can't get any money for them? .ones. No, no,-because they're beneath a gentleman Robinson. Don't see it-it's not worthy of you. When JONE gives oan a more unsatisfactory reply than usual, why is he like a theatre at Easter? Brown. Give it up. Robinson. Because he presents an Extra-vague-answer! Extra- vaganza, you know. You just lengthen the anti-penultimate and substitute s for z, and there you are! Jones. Flat as table-beer. Which reminds me-When small-beer is in duller spirits than usial (supposing it possible), why is it like the finest claret? Brown. Because extremes meet, I suppose. Oh, I don't think much of that. 0 Jones. No, no,-because it's X-pensive. Expensive, you know. Brown. Ah! but the duty's off now. Robinson (who for some reason or other feels very strongly on this point). I am aware of it, sir. It was a mistaken policy, and I have always maintained it. Tea and sugar, sir, the poor man's luxuries- Brown. Oh, hang politics! What's the difference between a mem- ber of the late Conservative ministry and myself? Why, Lord Derby is his great Tory, and a swallow is mi-gra-tory! My great Tory, you know! One more. 'Why is a man who has sworn at a mouse which, on waking up, he has found running over his head, like atide-waiter? (Pauses, then triumpantly)-Because he's accursed a mouse off his ear !-A custom-house officer! ! (Train, which has been slackening speed for some time, comes to a. stop. Porter. Crallahoo! Crallaboo! Padgers a ha hoo hum chain cradgers a hoo ha-ha ha hum! (What on earth this means nobody has the slightest idea.) Ourself (panting). Hi! Guard! Porter! Here! Another car- riage-first-class! third-class! any class! Carriage door opens. Exit OURSELF, taking a tremendous header on to the platform, after the manner of Mn. BoucicAULT in the Colleen Bawn.) TO CORRESPONDENTS. So great has been the excitement produced by the publication of our first number; so universal has been the sudden belief in our infallibility ; so general has been the desire to profit by our wisdom and caperience, that already we have been inundated wit' piles of correspondence from every variety of writer, from every quarter of the country, in every form of composition, in every shade of syntax. It would ill befit ts to publish the many fulsomely flattering sentiments expressed by most of the writers; we can simply take this opportunity of thanking them one and all-(and we do so with a grateful tear in each eye, and a pathetic expression painful to witness, which is giving our sub-editor hopes of our breaking down and retiring fSrom ocu responsibility, thus opening a way for his ambition; hopes which, we assure him, are by no means destined to be realized)-for their generous expression of sympathy and regard. It is true that the number of letters arriving by every post may raise expectations in the bosom of the postman touching a Christmas-box of an overwhelming nature; it is tue that our back office is rapidly presenting a wild appearance of maddening confusion; it is true that if we possessed the concentrated iifor- mation of MAUNDER, PINNOCK, HAYDN, KNIGHT, aod TIMBs, 'we could never hope to be able to answer one-thousandth part of the questions contained in the ever-increasing heap of correspondence beside us ;-but what matter? As Touchstone says, "a snan m ay, if he were of a fearfji heart, stagger in this attempt," but we are not of a fearful heart, and we shrink at nothing that comes "in such a question-able shape," for we know that every one who ciwrites asking a question willrush to buy a copy to see the answer; and as we have the Penny Cyclopaedia laid on in the back ofice, and have engaged a copying clerk at an attorney's to come in over-time and answer abstruse legal points, we feel confident that our replies will invariably give that satisfaction which it will be our study to deserve. N.B.-Those wiho getno reply after the fifteenth week nmay rest assured that wve have not been able to obtain the information required, or that the letter has been mislaid, or that we couldn't snake out the writing, or that we have dropped it in taking it home to peruse c./I,. ii,,, or that we don't care about the trouble, or that perhaps, after all, they ever posted it. JuL:.us.-You wish to know our scale of remuneration; it is ten guineas a column for prose, fifteen for verse. 'From the style of your letter we should imagine you strongly inclined to prose. Send itsa dozen columns or so, and callfor the cheque on Saturday next, as sooi after we have closed the office as you feel inclined. PY.\rALrON.-From a cursory glance at your handwriting we should imagine your character t) be strongly marked. Pimples are hereditary. ASTRAY.-It was supposed that the earth went round the scn, but nous avons change tout cela. Science has made such rapid strides that very many venerable theories have exploded, their promulgators being also blown up by modern discoverers. The sun is altogether too bright to let the earth get round it. Devote your mind to these noble pursuits by all means, but don't forget in future to put a stamp on your letter. Our 500 other correspondents must wait till next week. London: printed and Published (for lte Propeletors) by CHARLES WHYTE, at the Office, 80, Fleet Street, E.C.-Saturday, October 5th, 1801.