OcTOBER 5, 1861.]


FU TN.


That he'd take that lovely creature,
Though no feature
Of her countenance he'd seen;
But her ankles and her hat, and most of all her crinoline,
Iad completely overcome him, and lie turned away and sighed,
As he sadly recollected how lie was le-gally tied.
And he clutched his amber whiskers
Wildly, as he watched the maiden,
Tripping daintily from market
With the morrow's dinner laden.
It was Margate, and he'd watched her,
Near and in the distance dim,
With a strange and wild heart fluttering,
And a look uncommom grim,
And he turned away and loudly
Uttered to the winds "Oh, dimi!"
 Round hats and veils
 Suit most females,
 Sweet seventeen,
 Stern forty e'en ;
 And TUBns was victim to a maiden sly,
 Who wore the most coquettish pert pork pie,
 Slightly inclininig t'wards the dexter eye,
 Adjusted with extremo dexterity,
 Who, though she ever wore a veil opaque,
 Was lovely, oath TunBS was prepared to take.
 At last this lady rather lateish met he,
 On the jetty.
 His heart beat fast:
 She passed.
 He felt the wretchedest of men :
 She passed again.
 Say, should he speak,-
 Too weak
 He felt to force a single word,
 Absurd.
 She passed once more:
 Encore.
 By Jove," said he,
 "With me
 It's but too plain she's smitten."
 Hittin'
 His breast, he stopped and said-
 Nothing, for like a perfect lump of lead
 He fell, when raising from her face her veil,
 The lady showed the features, proud though pale,
 Of Mls. TUBns, the sadly-injured wife;-
 She stared, and cut her husband-like a knife.
 He rose, and tore his hair, and swore
 Ho loved her more than ever,-moro
 Than he had ever loved before.
 Said he was wounded to the core,
 And set up such a fearful roar,
 That people heard him from the shore.
 It was in vain, although he "sor,"
 As Cockneys say, her to her door,
 She camly sought her second-floor;
 Then, ringing the landlady for, s
 Remarked, "This person, M3s. BLOIRE,
 Is a most pertinaceous bore ;
 And should he call, I do implore
 You not to let him in." TUBes tore
 Himself away with "Ausl revoir."
 That night from the club books he scratched his name,
 And came
 Down by express to Margate in the morning.
 Scorning
 Deception, he at once went to his wife and told her
 (Bolder
 People have shirked so fearful a confession-
 This digression
 Pardon) how her pork-pic" had settled on his chest;
 Confest
 The hold she had upon his heart retaken.
 His bacon
 He saved, and she forgave him with a kiss:
 Apply the moral, madam and young miss.
 "What is it ?" Can you really ask me tha ?
 'Tis this,-in future, alvatys wear a hut.


 UNFASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.
 t'Fron he St Gilts's Chro.icle.)
 AMU EL SYKES,
 /.j .u -.- bhgs to infotr
 S,-- us I lhat his Illa; Utern

 -tuc'ceded in di.',]o;-
 i i ing of her ianigle to
 considerable vdvan-
 ? l tavl'-e.
 B I.' S'rI, ,a l s is
 S- a sitising his ltii urt
 / L iiienls by picking
 :' 1 "in il 5 If hI]



 Sy re ,lalinsal ial thinirli
 Theater Ral, Little Ttboro up is xcele t.

 d te etie lt w p
 t t t n t he wll rp r i e sire ilo

 every genuine artist Ito obtain.
 er pice the obliging or f th eleven
 P -"' somuehatientioen,:ad
 so many reg arks from a discerning, thloulh qurolewhat itdiscreietl
 gallery, is at present fulfilling a highly su.cessfll engagemen1 at ihe
 Theatre Royal, Little Tutborough. Tlho mianer in whiiih 'i reIpe-
 sented the entire avrmy ix p ictd frm t last week, llproved him tlil e
 dost il himself, and we have no doubt that on the ocriesion of hlis
 irst ticket night he will reap that reward which it is the desire gof
 every genuine artist to obtain.
 MIn. C, COPPE s, tohe obliging -onduIctor of the elOven o'clo li
 Paddington omknibus, has owasnged th o tla e qunrtlor aer two, litt,.



 Mu.BKInCi L a has taon tio faiohs hostel cf thoe lig ;it,
 vice A P ENNY, d .1, ,, ..-1.




 W-ist. ,' aiNl intends itng rating his le3ssesi p with a, intll1r ally-. i,
 received a few friends oin Wednesday. The en terlilnmenlit s N aClilh
 as one milht have expected from this icaly's werll-kniown cii st. i ii he
 supper was elegant. Aii one el of the table was displayed C ripe,
 dressed with onions; act anl other wrcap shefp's Wro tlis, while t
 centre of the tablo as devoted to the f isiy salaii'ge of o;or ogn.
 Festivities w-or it u, as was thoe ti landlady, until a tlte hour.
 31R. Bgivch a deci hasd takln the Jfiouls hosctly of the "'pig ofi
 Whistle," and intends inaugurating his lessccship with a dinner. Al I.
 BLwees iGs, ksown in professional circles as the ientli lil Ki
 One," will take the chair. The musical arrit genCenl ias will bo nr.
 the skilful supervision of 3XtI. R. MoNNY, of the Nobody's Concerts.


 THE PRINCIPAL THEATRHES ROYA1,."
 TErr Era newspaper is certainly capital funll. Vero the prico lower
w should be positively afraid of; it. Takt fi inmst mal ono or iwo
advertisements-fo r it is the contributors who pay, a:d noty hose paid,
who give such a decided 11dash of jocularity to the lMper- of last
week's impression. Can they be genuiio, or nro they simply the
effervescence of provincial nnageras who desire to rush into print
and amuse their friends ? One manager advertises fior "a i god wnd
willing utility gentleman." A willing utility gentleman would ji a
novelty, we should imagine; hisf duty being in most small icoutry
theatres to play three parts at least in every pice ; ien siet, to rele-
sent about forty diffront personages a week, b at a salary barely i illi-
cient for the sustenance of one. erhapts thoiile n ger .really wanmt
him for ihe "heavy killings." Fta rth r dowi we itof a manager wmho
requires a "heavy genlcemaln and a heavy walking gien.le( mn, to joil
immediately." \We have lheard of "heavy gentlell.men ill dramat(11 ic
circles, but a li"heavy v'lki,' gentleman" :eeins to n:; to be :11
entirely novel line. As far as our experience goes, we have -eshlom
seen a wallking gentleman who was iot heavy. In some of the lino
old comedies they are of the grreatcst weight. Pout these t wo heavy
gentlemen are to "join immediately." We beliv( this adverfisemnt
simply means tihat the manager wants a dobloe I's." A n1th'
nmnaIer informs the pulblic tlart he is illn waNIf, of a gentlenman horn-
pipe dancer." We sincerely wish he may get him.l


Wi,,.% r polic-ollilill is I!Crc chev LI- :~