FU I-N.


[S'EPTEMlBER 21, 1861.


SOMETHING


LIKE CHIVALRY.


 B~iege,'c, t ae Fair (cold Feig-): DoN'T YOU TInINK GIRL.S i oot rx irmr)rIv 6.1A1BSan IN
TIHOSEIETS ? "
 Alonzo, 7the rem-p1T -are:- "WaLLt, No. I WAS JUST Tesv i niNsG i mEr LOOiE.-) DEUCEn
PR ET-Y !"


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 TOUCHSTONE'S ITELEGRAMS.
 IN the famous story AsroioEus takes off the roofs of the houses to
 show the student what is passing in the city. FLUN does more,-takes
 the cover off the universe and bids his readers take a sight at every-
 thing and everybody. That which, in the days of DON CLEOF.AS, was
 called supernatural, is now called scientific, and in Le Diable lloitex.
 LE S.AE only anticipated House-top Telegraphic Communication.
 We hasten to lay before our readers the

 LATEST INTELLIGENCE.
 Fromn LAURA D- to H. P. BU-NEYMrOLuTH, Fo;reig Office.
 "Pa has gone into the city. He dines at Kensington. I shall be
at the old trysting-place at five. Till then __

 From, LAMBERT LEECH to MiSS HARRIET IHARPIpIGIT.
 "The old girl is going fast. Cone on directly, or that vagabond
FaED will be calling to spoil all, and she is not unconscious yet."

 From- VIscoUNT PALMERSTrON to t he Editor of F x.
 "I like the idea inunensely. Come up to Cambridge House, and
we will talk about it over a cigar. Not a word to Gladstone."

 From SHANDYGAFF SHAWLPIN to BOOTY SPun, ESQ.
 Bellona is scratched, and Hercules queer on his legs. HIedge all
you can. The Artful is at Belong. All U. P. Keep an eye on F;'


 Fomi Bi .\SsixGTON BRE.xNLss o PA:UL BEDFORD, ESQ.
 "Dear Sir,-I see Adelphi is closed. Our club-the Tatterver-
millionis'--give amateur performance to-night. I enclose tickets,
hoping for the favour of your company."

 FR-oii PAUL BEDFORD 0to B13I.SSINGTON BRAINLESS, ESQ.
 (In Answert to the abore).
 "Dear boy, dear boy, dear boy, dear boy,-I dine out to-day with
a few clerical friends-so shall not be able to participate. Sorry,
dear boy; sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, but cannot help it. Ever yours,
dear boy, dear boy, P. B.

 From, CONSTANCE BLnoOMI-nTON0 to lMss FIT.
 It is not fill enough in the skirt. I have cried my eyes out about
it. Pray do come and alter it, so that it is ready by ten.

 Fro;,, CYMnox SAVAGE to MRS. IIGENIxA SAVAGE, Cavil Cottage,
 Aientiiitgtoni Cross.
 If you choose to be reasonable I will return; if not-never! I
lave endured too much. Kiss the baby !"

 Fo-m M s. SAVAGE to CYMON SxAAGE, Esq.
 (Il Answer to the aboce).
 Return, dear CyrMo. return ; or you will break my heart For-
give me-all shll be as you wish. For the future it shall be stewed,
and no word of reproach shall escape my lips."


10-


 A FRIENDLY SUGGESTION.
 IN a contemporary may be seen an
 advertisement headed The London Lace
 Paper Company," in which all sorts of
 perishable articles are spoken of as pecu-
 liarly calculated to prove the universal
 applicability of this wonderful material
 to hitherto unsuspected uses. We are
 to have paper hats, paper waistcoats, and
 paper shirt-fronts, in addition to the
 highly popular penny paper collar, -a
 seductive article which has already got
 round an enormous number of people. It
 strikes us that the company may extend
 its scheme, and apply this accommodating
 substance to several other objects. We
 subjoin a list of articles to the manu-
 facture of which the company might turn
 its attention, fervently loping that it will
 not return evil for good by sending us any
 of its shares.
 P'c ope IVii gs.-H-ighly recommended to
 speculative kiteflyors.
 1''pe Pipes.-To be manufactured of
the very best drawing paper.
 (IPope,- Irifighters.-Strongly recom-
mended to rival editors in county towns;
manufactured of the most enduring mill-
board.
 P1per Hlouses.--Particularly useful at
 the present warm season to theatrical
 managers. These houses look fully as
 good as real ones to the inexperienced
 eye.-N.B. Orders taken in any quantity.

 WHO'S YOUR IIATTER?
 On: aristocratic friend Brown, who feels
unhappy in sixteen shilling trousers, be-
cause they only cost him sixteen shillings,
- his tastes being expensive and his
means ignoble,-informs us that he now
pays much less for his hats than he was
wont to do. He used to buy the patent
ventilating hat (a very dear luxury, quite
beyond his limited salary), supposed to
weigh ile eighth of an ounce; but he
says that, though they were very light
indeed for a short walk, he found them
come exceedingly heavy in the long run.


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