CRUSOL’S DAILY COMPANIONS. 167

break out upon me like a storm, and make me wring my hands
and weep like a child. Sometimes it would take me in the middle
of my work ; and I would immediately sit down and sigh, and
look upon the ground for an hour or two together. And this was
still worse to me; for if I could burst out into tears or vent
myself by words it would go off, and the grief, having exhausted
itself, would abate.

But now I began to exercise myself with new thoughts. I
daily read the Word of God, and applied all the comforts of it to
my present state. One morning, being very sad, I opened the
Bible upon these words, “TI will never, never leave thee, nor for-
sake thee.” Immediately it occurred that these words were to
me. Why else should they be directed in such a manner, just at
the moment when I was mourning over my condition as one for-
saken of God and man? “ Well, then,” said I, “if God does not
forsake me, of what ill consequence can it be, or what matters it,
though the world should all forsake me, seeing on the other hand
if T had all the world, and should lose the favour and blessing of
God, there would be no comparison in the loss ?”

From this moment I began to conclude in my mind that it was
possible for me to be more happy in this forsaken, solitary con-
dition, than it was probable I should ever have been in any other
particular state in the world; and with this thought I was going
to give thanks to God for bringing me to this place. I know not
what it was, but something shocked my mind at that thought,
and I durst not speak the words. ‘“ How canst thou be such a
hypocrite,” said I, even audibly, “to pretend to be thankful for a
condition which, however thou mayst endeavour to be contented
with, thou wouldst rather pray heartily to be delivered from?”
So I stopped there. But though I could not say I thanked God
for being there, yet I sincerely gave thanks to God for opening
my eyes, by whatever afflicting pro idences, to see the former con-
dition of my life, and to mourn for my wickedness and repent. I
never opened the Bible or shut it but my very soul within me
blessed God for directing my friend in England, without any order
of mine, to pack it up among my goods, and for assisting me after:
wards to save it out of the wreck of the ship.