CRUSOE’S REPENTANCE, 148

miseries of death came to place itself before me; when my spirits
began to sink under the burden of a strong distemper, and nature
was exhausted with the violence of the fever; conscience, that had
slept so long, began to awake, and I began to reproach myself
with my past life, in which I had so evidently, by uncommon
wickedness, provoked the justice of God to lay me under uncom-
mon strokes, and to deal with me in so vindictive a manner.

These reflections oppressed me for the second or third day of my
distemper, and in the violence, as well of the fever as of the dread-
ful reproaches of my conscience, extorted some words from me like
praying to God, though I cannot say they were either a prayer
attended with desires or with hopes; it was rather the voice of
mere fright and distress. My thoughts were confused, the convic-
tions great upon my mind, and the horror of dying in such a
miserable condition raised vapours into my head with the mere
apprehensions; and in these hurries of my soul I know not what
my tongue might express. But it was rather exclamation, such
as, “‘ Lord, what a miserable creature am I! If I should be sick, I
shall certainly die for want of help, and what will become of me?”
Then the tears burst out of my eyes, and I could say no more for a
good while.

In this interval, the good advice of my father came to my mind
and presently his prediction, which I mentioned at the beginning
of this story, namely, that if I did take this foolish step, God would
not bless me, and I would have leisure hereafter to reflect upon
having neglected his counsel, when there might be none to assist
in my recovery. ‘“ Now,” said I aloud, “ my dear father’s words are
come to pass: God’s justice has overtaken me, and I have none to
help or hear me. I rejected the voice of Providence, wnich had
mercifully put me in a posture or station of life wherein I might
have been happy and easy ; but I would neither see it myself nor
learn to know the blessing of it from my parents. I left them to
mourn over my folly, and now I am left to mourn under the con-
sequences of it. I refused their help and assistance who would
have titted me into the world, and would have made everything
easy to me; and now I have difficulties to struggle with, too great
for even nature itself to support, and no assistance, no help, nc

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