20 A SATIRE MISUNDERSTOOD.

was honestly and conscientiously a Dissenter, and he could not refrain from
coming forward at the call of duty to awaken the eyes of his brethren to
their dangerous position. He knew that argument or expostulation or en-
treaty in such a crisis would be of little value, and therefore he determined
to resort to the weapon of irony. He wrote and published—without his name,
of course—his ‘‘ Shortest Way with the Dissenters,” in which he gravely
recommended, as the only effectual method of dealing with them, their
extermination. “’Tis in vain,” he writes, “to trifle in this matter. We
can never enjoy a settled, uninterrupted union in this nation, till the spirit
of Whiggism, faction, and schism, is melted down like the old money. Here
is the opportunity to secure the Church, and destroy her enemies. I do not
prescribe fire and fagot, but Delenda est Carthago. They are to be rooted out
of this nation, if ever we will live in peace or serve God. The light foolish
handling of them by fines is their glory and advantage. If the gallows
instead of the compter, and the galleys instead of the fines, were the reward
of going to a conventicle, there would not be so many sufferers.”

So ably and so seriously was this piece of bitter sarcasm written, that at
first the whole nation was taken in; Dissenters went wild with apprehen-
sion, Jacobites and High Churchmen with delight. Then, all of a sudden,
people awoke to the author’s true intention. It was discovered that that
author was a Dissenter, and that his satire was directed against the advocates
of conformity. A loud cry for vengeance immediately went up to heaven;
and, to the disgrace of the Dissenters, they joined in it. They had been
deceived, and in a fit of cowardly fury they turned upon the man who had
deceived them, though the deception was wholly intended for their advantage.

The House of Commons took up the matter. The tract was declared a
libel, and ordered to be burned by the hands of the common hangman. The
Government was advised to prosecute its author. When he saw what a terrible
storm was rising De Foe fied; but a reward of £50 was offered for his appre-
hension. In the proclamation in the ‘‘ London Gazette,” he was described
as ‘‘a middle-sized, spare man, about forty years old, of a brown complexion,
but wears a wig; a hooked nose, a sharp chin, gray eyes, and a large mole
near his mouth.” At first he escaped detection. The Government then
flung into prison the printer and the bookseller, and De Foe immediately sur-
rendered himself. He would allow no man to suffer the consequences of any
action of his; for this he was too brave, too manly, and too honourable. He
surrendered; was imprisoned ; was indicted at the Old Bailey in July 1708;
was entangled by a promise of royal mercy into an admission of the libel;
was declared guilty; and sentenced to pay a fine of 500 marks, to stand
three times in the pillory, to be imprisoned during the Queen’s pleasure,
and to find sureties for good behaviour for seven years. Such was the ini-
quitous sentence which power pronounced upon a man for daring to be
wittier than his fellows!

Twenty days were allowed him to prepare for the pillory. He occupied