OF ROBINSON CRUSOE. 201

dream, that the disappointments which I felt upon coming to myself,
and finding that it was no more than a dream, were equally extrava-
gant the other way, and threw me into a very great dejection of
spirit.

Upon this, however, I made this conclusion, that my only way to go
about an attempt for an escape was, if possible, to get a savage in my
possession; and, if possible, it should be one of their prisoners whom
they had condemned to be eaten, and should bring hither to kill: but
these thoughts still were attended with this difficulty, that it was
impossible to effect this, without attacking a whole caravan of them,
and killing them all; and this was not only a very desperate. attempt,
and might miscarry, but, on the other hand, I had greatly scrupled the
lawfulness of it to myself, and my heart trembled at the thought of
shedding so much blood, though it was for my deliverance. I need
not repeat the arguments which occurred to me against this, they being
the same mentioned before: but though I had other reasons to offer
now, namely, that those men were enemies to my life, and would
devour me, if they could; that it was self-preservation, in the highest
degree, to deliver myself from this death of a life, and was acting in
my own defence, as much as if they were actually assaulting me, and
the like; I say, though these things argued for it, yet the thoughts of
shedding human blood for my deliverance were very terrible to me,
and such as I could by no means reconcile myself to a great while.

However, at last, after many secret disputes with myself, and after
great perplexities about it, (for all these arguments, one way and
another, struggled in my head a long time), the eager prevailing desire
of deliverance at length mastered all the rest, and I resolved, if
possible, to get one of these savages into my hands, cost what it would.
The next thing, then, was to contrive how to do it; and this indeed
was very difficult to resolve on ; but as I could pitch upon no probable
means for it, so I resolved to put myself upon the watch to see them
when they came on shore, and leave the rest to the event, taking such
measures as the opportunity should present, let it be what it would.

With these resolutions in my thoughts, I set myself upon the scout
as often as possible, and indeed so often, till I was heartily tired of it;
for it was above a year and a half that I waited, and for a great part
of that time went out to the west end and to the south-west corner
of the island, almost every day, to see for canoes, but none appeared.
This was very discouraging, and began to trouble me much; though ]
cannot say that it did in this case, as it had done some time betore
‘hat, namély, wear off the edge of my desire to the thing