70 A VISION.

building on every side !—IJ, who so lately, under
the almond-trees, had mourned over the disturb-
ance, disorder, and unsatisfactoriness, not only of
human life in general, but of my own inward life
in particular, as compared with the absolute per-
fection—let inquiry be pushed to its uttermost
limits—of the inanimate world! I, who had to
own to a whole body of sin, warring with, and
bringing into confusion, a nature intended for
better things: and even when honestly warred
against in return, with difficulty and imperfectly
overcome. I—this I—to scandalize the congre-
gation—hundreds of them, beyond a doubt, a
thousand times better than myself—by leaving
the church as if not worthy of my worship !

I bowed my head in repentance for such a
thought, and crouched in one corner of the ugly
old-fashioned pew, thankful that it hid me from
sight. And then I fell into one of those trances
which sometimes take possession of men’s minds.
As has been known to happen to drowning or
otherwise dying persons, my whole lifetime passed
in review before me, in what seemed to me then