138 AGAIN, OLD AND NEW ACQUAINTANCE.

them. He was a moral coward ; he had not the
courage to do right—and he sat now humbled and
chastised by his conscience. Oh that I had dared to
speak the truth! Oh that I had but had the courage
to speak the truth—that I had but had faith in the
real greatness and goodness of her soul! I ama liar
and a cheat, let me bear as fair a face to the world as
I may, and a day will come when all my falsehood
will come to light!

The next day he set off to the Forest for the inter-
view which she desired, but not before he again made
inquiries after the lodger at Mrs. Cope’s, but the
lodger was not returned, and, racked with the appre-
hension of something terrible hanging over him, he
set out. He was prepared for some dreadful catas-
trophe, and felt more like a criminal going to judg-
ment, than a lover on his way to arrange with a
loving mistress for an early marriage. But what whi ps
and stings has an evil conscience—how it torments
with everlasting suggestions ; suppose Miss Bassett
should meet him with the full knowledge of all his
baseness—suppose his father had actually been with
her brothers, or herself—suppose he should be there
with her, and she should confront them face to face !
What should he do? Had he not now better go and
throw himself at her feet, and confess all? Could
she indeed love him after such a proof of his weak-
ness? Or should he boldly adhere to his lie, and
dare all consequences? He could not tell—he knew
not what to do—he was like a weed on the tempested
water, tossed here and there. A bitter curse is a mind
ever wavering between right and wrong! and thus—
iniserable, vacillating, apprehensive, repentant, and yet
ready to commit fresh sin to save himself, he went on.