Sunday, June 8, 2014


ads.yoursun net


E/N/C The Sun Classified Page 17


 DEAR ABBY



Girlfriend worries she will be


 a checkbook for her beau


 DEAR ABBY: I'm
having problems with
my boyfriend, 'Adam,"
and I feel stuck. He
recently was accepted
to graduate school, and
we're planning to move
there. We haven't lived
together before, and I'm
not sure I'm doing the
right thing.
 I will be working and
paying for everything,
and Adam will be just
going to school. He
thinks this is a fair
trade-off because "we
won't have to worry
about money at all"
once he has completed
his education.
 Abby, I don't think
he cares that it's me
going with him. I feel
like a space-filler and
a meal ticket. How do
I go about finding out
his true feelings and
intentions? He doesn't
make me feel special,
wanted or import-
ant ever. I worry
this will end badly.
I do love him, but I
don't want this to be a
self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please give me some
advice. TO MOVE
OR NOT TO MOVE IN
INDIANA
 DEAR MOVE OR NOT:
You do need advice
- and here it is: Your
woman's intuition is tell-
ing you this isn't right,
and that your boyfriend
can't be trusted to fulfill
his part of the bargain.
You should listen to it
because that's a poor
basis for uprooting
yourself and becoming
his benefactor.
 The person you have
described is someone
centered solely upon
himself and his own
needs. A man who


 Dear Abby


doesn't make you feel
special, wanted or
important would make a
very poor husband.
 DEAR ABBY: My wife
and I have three daugh-
ters in their 20s and 30s.
One of them, "Lauryn,"
is married with four
children. She and her
husband are behind in
their mortgage, student
loans, federal, state and
property taxes, utilities,
etc. Over the past 15
years, we have given
them more than $40,000
to help them stay
afloat. Things have not
improved.
 Now that my wife and
I are retired, the money
we provide is cutting
into our retirement
savings. For the sake of
our grandchildren, we
continue to bail Lauryn
out hoping their financ-
es will improve. But now
we have begun to think
our handouts should
come at a cost.
 We want to tell Lauryn
and our son-in-law
that the money we've
given and have
continued to give will
count against their
inheritance. It doesn't
seem fair that we have
given so much to this
one daughter and her
family and relatively lit-
tle to her sisters. Do you
agree? We'd appreciate


your thoughts on this. -
LOVING PARENTS AND
GRANDPARENTS
 DEAR LOVING
PARENTS: I do agree.
And for that reason,
you should discuss this
issue with an attorney
who specializes in estate
planning, wills and
trusts. Your other daugh-
ters should not suffer
because Lauryn and
her husband have been
perpetually needy. An
attorney can guide you,
and it will be money
well spent.
 Dear Abby is written
by Abigail Van Buren,
also known as Jeanne
Phillips, and was
founded by her mother,
Pauline Phillips. Contact
Dear Abby at www.
DearAbby com or P0.
Box 69440, Los Angeles,
CA 90069.
 What teens need to
know about sex, drugs,
AIDS and getting along
with peers and parents
is in "Hhat Every Teen
Should Know." Send
your name and mailing
address, plus check or
money order for $7 (U.S.
funds) to: Dear Abby,
Teen Booklet, P0. Box
447, Mount Morris, IL
61054-0447. (Shipping
and handling are
included in the price.)
 Abby shares more than
100 of her favorite recipes
in two booklets: 'Abby's
Favorite Recipes" and
"More Favorite Recipes
by DearAbby" Send
your name and mailing
address, plus check or
money order for $14 (U.S.
funds) to: Dear Abby,
Cookbooklet Set, P0. Box
447, Mount Morris, IL
61054-0447. (Shipping
and handling are includ-
ed in the price.)


 DEAR PRUDENCE: I
am a grandmother who
is haunted by something
I did when I was a girl.
Many, many years ago
while I was at school I did
something clumsy and
got a bruise. My mother
noticed it as soon as I
came home and asked me
what happened. She was
always making me feel
stupid, and I didn't want
to hear her put me down.
So I said my teacher
pinched me. I think I was
hoping for a little "poor
baby" from her and then
the whole thing would
blow over. It didn't. Mom
took me to school the
next day and raised hell
with the principal and
teacher I had accused.
There was an investiga-
tion and I was too scared
to back down. I stuck to
my story and the teacher
was either fired or quit to
avoid criminal charges.
I felt terrible, especially
when she asked me, in
tears, why I was telling
that lie. It has always
bothered me since. When
I became a young mother
I was afraid I might get in
trouble for what I did, so
I have never told anyone.
Now I am a grandmother
and what I did haunts
me. It is so far in the past
that I can't see what I can
do to make restitution to
the teacher. Surely she is
retired by now. But this
has bothered me all my
life and I would like to do
something. -Guilty
 DEAR GUILTY: I can
understand your being
haunted by this, but the
fact that your act has
distressed you all these
years shows that you are
a decent person who, as
a child who felt unloved,
acted out. Your letter
brings up a larger societal
issue. We know that many
people are horribly hurt


 Dear Prudence

and abused and never
speak up, or speak up and
aren't believed. But we
also have to keep in mind
that sometimes accusers
make things up, and that
sometimes people who
proclaim their innocence
are telling the truth. You
already know that there
is little likelihood you
could find this teacher
- and I don't think you
should start searching.
After she left your school,
the chances are that she
was able to continue her
career elsewhere, and let's
hope that long ago she put
this incident behind her.
 I might help you feel
better to do something
concrete to address such
injustices. You've never
told anyone about this
until now, so it must be
a great relief to bring this
episode into the light.
Now it's time to recognize
the person who did it was
a hurting little girl, and
forgive her. Prudie
 DEAR PRUDIE: I'm a
member of a book club
of women in our mid-
30s that's been going for
five years. We've got a
good group, but there's
one member no one
likes. She's insensitive,
ignorant, and rude. She
contributes very little to
the discussion of the book
and prefers to conduct
side conversations. She's
made some ignorant and
mean comments regard-
ing pregnancy that have


deeply wounded some of
the members who have
had miscarriages or in-
fertility issues. She used
to attend AA meetings,
but has been drinking
heavily lately before she
drives home she even
took a drink with her for
the road one night. When
we've said something
about this, she dismisses
us. We're at a loss. Can we
kick her out of book club?
If so, how? Literary
Blues
 DEAR LITERARY: This
extremely bad news for
public safety may turn out
to be good news for your
book club. One member's
driving home drunk from
your gatherings is more
than enough ammunition
to tell her that not only
is she a disruption who
insults her fellow mem-
bers, she's also a danger
to herself and others.
She needs to know the
rest of you cannot leave
yourselves open to the
liability of providing her
with alcohol before she
gets on the road. This
discussion should be had
in person with two of you
authorized to represent
the group, so that she
understands this is not
one member's animus.
Be firm but kind and say
while you no longer want
her at future gatherings,
you're concerned about
her escalating behavior
and that you urge her to
get some help. Yes, it will
be unpleasant, but this
is the kind of thing that
happens to people who
are out of control. It prob-
ably won't be welcome,
but as a parting gift you
could give her a book that
should be illuminating:
"Drinking: A Love Story,"
the memoir by the late
Caroline Knapp about
how she faced her alco-
holism. -Prudi


Buttonholes


 Dear Heloise: I sew
buttonholes into the
corners of my towels. I
have several hooks in my
bathroom that I hang my
towels and other things
on. With the buttonholes,
the towels are really easy
to hang, and they never
fall off onto the floor. -
Loni in Texas

 Weigh down
 Dear Heloise: I save
plastic gallon milk jugs. I
fill them with water and
use them to weigh down
the blankets, sheets and
towels I use to cover my
plants when needed. I
was having a problem
with the blankets blowing
off. The jugs help keep
them in place. Sheila
in North Carolina

 Safe blade
 Dear Heloise: When I
pack my lunch and need a
sharp knife, I put the knife


Hints from Heloise


in a travel toothbrush
holder for safekeeping. -
Patty in New Jersey

 Corny cards
 Dear Readers: Is your
favorite deck of cards get-
ting grimy? Clean the play-
ing cards by placing them
in a plastic bag with a
scoop or two of cornstarch
or baking soda. Shake it up
for a minute or two. Now
remove the cards and wipe
off the powder. Degrimed
in no time! This also is
a great way to clean up
cards from board games
and other card games your


HELOISE


kids may enjoy playing. -
Heloise

 Drawer dividers
 Dear Heloise: On a
cleaning spree, I decided
that my drawers needed
some serious reorganiz-
ing. I used cleaned cookie
and cracker dividers from
the packages to hold little
things (like buttons and
pins in my desk) and
cut down cereal boxes
to organize my socks in
my dresser, and I am so
happy. Nothing gets mis-
placed anymore!
- Helene, via email

 Perfect powder
 Dear Readers: If you're
looking for a delicate
accent to fruits and
desserts, try filling a tea
steeper with powdered
sugar and shaking to
sprinkle the perfect
amount onto the goodies.
It's as simple as that! -
Heloise


 Giving gift
 Dear Heloise: I think
this might be the best gift
ever: Give your signifi-
cant other a really nice
card and a kiss. If they
don't like the gift, they
can give it back.'-] Judy
in Ohio

 Labeled
 containers
 Dear Heloise: I read
your column regarding
poison prevention in
the Ventura County (Ca-
lif.) Star. One suggestion
that I felt should be
included is to store all
poisons in their origi-
nal, labeled containers.
Often, folks who need
a small amount of a
chemical will pour it
into another container
(a cup or glass), making
it appear to be water or
some other drinkable
liquid. This can be very
dangerous. A Reader,
via email


JUMBLE


THAT SCRAMBLED WORD GAME
 by David L. Hoyt and Jeff Knurek


Unscramble these six Jumbles,
one letter to each square,
to form six ordinary words.


 A Sflsr
02C14 Tdouer Orit Agercy LLC =

 VERITH






 -77 -
 SWUNIE


Now arrange the circled letters
to form the surprise answer, as
suggested by the above cartoon.


 PRINT YOUR ANSWER IN THE CIRCLES BELOW

L-II I I I 


DEAR PRUDENCE


Lies and consequences