Sunday, April 6, 2014


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E/N/C The Sun Classified Page 17


 DEAR ABBY


 Wife is hurt over being


ignored by husband's dad


 DEAR ABBY: I have
been married to my
wonderful husband for
10 years. My father-in-
law, "John," has always
been a man of extremely
few words with me. He
mostly just ignores me
when I'm around. I have
mentioned it to my hus-
band and mother-in-law
over the years, and they
say he's just "weird."
 Last year, my brother-
in-law married a nice
woman, "Donna." It turns
out that John talks just
fine with her. He's not
overly chatty, but he's
friendly and polite. They
had a 20-minute conver-
sation on Christmas Eve,
and I don't remember
ever exchanging more
than three sentences with
the man. I'm naturally
sociable and easygoing,
and I don't know why
John would treat me so
rudely for so long.
 Of course, I'm jeal-
ous. I would trade the
father-in-law I have had
for the one Donna has
in a heartbeat. I'm so
hurt and angry that I
find it difficult to be in
the same room with him
now. I am seeing a ther-
apist, which helps, but
I'm still not sure how to
get over this or how to
proceed. Can you offer
me some advice? -
LIKE I'M NOT HERE
 DEAR LIKE: I'll try.
There could be any
number of reasons why
your father-in-law has
been unable to connect
with you, and I can
think of at least one


 o..





 DearAbby

that might have nothing
to do with you. Has it
occurred to you that this
may have something to
do with the way he feels
about your husband?
Sometimes the negative
feelings a parent has
toward a child can spill
over onto the spouse.
That might explain his
warmer attitude toward
your sister-in-law.
 However, if that's not
the case, then you will
have to accept that peo-
ple don't always have the
same level of chemistry
with everyone and
your father-in-law isn't
being intentionally hurt-
ful. I have experienced
this, and if you think
about it, I'm sure you
probably have, too.
 I'm glad you're seeing
a therapist, although
I hope the reason isn't
your father-in-law. If
being around him is
uncomfortable for you,
then limit the time you
spend with your in-laws.
That's what I'd do.
 DEAR ABBY: Over
the past 35 years I have
saved all the cards,
letters and photographs
sent to me by friends.


I thought it would be
fun to make them into
scrapbooks and give
them back to those
friends one day.
 Now that I finally have
the time to organize
them all, I'm not so sure.
They are pre-Facebook.
There are lots of letters
about their pregnancies,
birth announcements,
child-rearing experienc-
es and holiday letters.
 Can you ask your
readers if they would
welcome something
like this or should I
toss them all? It's time
to clean house. -
UNSURE IN THE WEST
 DEAR UNSURE: I'll
put the question out
there, but the people
who really should answer
are the friends for whom
you're thinking of cre-
ating those scrapbooks.
Speaking for myself,
I think they would be
priceless gifts, but I can't
answer for everyone.
 Dear Abby is written
by Abigail Van Buren,
also known as Jeanne
Phillips, and was found-
ed by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby
at www.DearAbby.com
or PO. Box 69440, Los
Angeles, CA 90069.
 To order "How to Write
Letters for All Occasions,"
send your name and
mailing address, plus
check or money order for
$7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear
Abby Letter Booklet,
P.O. Box 447, Mount
Morris, IL 61054-0447.
Shipping and handling
are included in the price.


 DEAR PRUDENCE:
I'm close to graduat-
ing with a doctorate
degree in a lucrative
field. About a year ago
I met my boyfriend,
whom I love dearly. We
have a great connec-
tion and have started
talking about marriage.
However, he has no
college education. He
was in the military
and had planned to
make a career of it
until he was medically
discharged following
injuries he sustained
in Afghanistan. He
currently draws enough
disability to live on, but
he works full time at
a fairly menial job for
additional money and
something to do. He
enjoys his job, there's
room for advancement
and he has a desire to
move up.
 My friends keep
telling me that he is
nothing but a freeloader
waiting so that he can
enjoy the bounty of
my hard work. A very
close friend says there
is no reason for him
not to pursue higher
education, and his
failure to do so indicates
he's a poor excuse for a
human being. Because
we're in a long-distance
relationship, my friends
don't know him well. His
friends have suggested
to him that I'm going to
dump him once I obtain
my degree because
someone making the
money I'll be making
won't want to be with


 Dear Prudence

someone like him.
 I don't have a problem
with the fact that he
doesn't have a degree.
I would support him if
he decided to pursue
college, but we're both
30 and he doesn't seem
interested. If we were to
get married, we agree he
would stay employed.
Is this relationship
doomed because we
differ so much in
education and earning
ability? I hadn't consid-
ered this to be an issue
until our friends started
weighing in. My parents,
who always have my
best interest in mind,
have said nothing to this
effect. They really like
him and seem on board
for the marriage thing as
well. Bread Winner
 DEAR WINNER: Your
boyfriend sounds like a
keeper; it's your friends
you might want to get
rid of. That's a nause-
ating level of arrogance
and ignorance if they
think that by pursuing
university degrees they
were doing something
superior with their lives
while your boyfriend
was risking his. They


need to climb down
from their ivory tower,
get out in the world and
discover that there are
successful, interesting
people who lack a
higher education degree
- and disappointed,
fatuous ones who have
strings of them. Your
friends barely know
your boyfriend; to them
he's just a collection
of stereotypes. (His
friends, meanwhile, are
worried that you're out
of his league.)
 But the people who
do know you two as a
couple your parents,
and, well, the two of
you think you're
potentially great life
partners. Even though
your boyfriend draws
significant disability
payments, it's com-
mendable that since
he's able to work, he
chooses to (in general,
veterans' disability pay-
ments do not preclude
employment). If he is
willing to find similar
work anywhere, the two
of you will have lots of
flexibility when it comes
to weighing your juicy
job offers. Don't let your
friends' ugly judgments
worm their way into
your brain. Then there's
this to consider: If you
two have children and
you want to maintain
your demanding career,
you could be the envy
of your friends if the
bulk of the child care
is done by the bravest,
strongest, most fun dad
around. Prudie


 Wax withdrawal
 Dear Heloise: The easi-
est way for me to remove
the leftover wax from my
glass votive holders is to
put them in the freezer
for an hour or two. I can
get most of the wax off by
just pushing on it with my
fingers. For the stubborn
wax, I just use a butter
knife to push off the wax,
making sure not to scratch
the glass with the knife. -
C. Fuller, via email

 Crafty reuse
 Dear Heloise: I wanted
to share my crafty, easy
hint. I wash out my dec-
orative soap dispensers
when they're empty and
use them as flower or
plant holders. They go re-
ally well in the bathroom
and give it some life. -
Lynda in Missouri

 What would
 Heloise do?
 Dear Heloise: My wife
and I often paint small
items we are assembling.
The items are hung from
teacup hooks for paint-


- --


Hints from Heloise


ing, and the hooks ac-
cumulate a thick coat of
paint over time.
 We wanted to clean
the hooks for further
use. It looked like a
hopeless project until
we asked "What would
Heloise do?" The answer,
of course, was vinegar!
We soaked the hooks
overnight in vinegar, and
the next morning easily
wiped the paint off with a
cloth. Rodger and
Trudy, Spokane, Wash.

 Beach business
 Dear Heloise: When I
go to the beach, I cover
my car mats in a trash
bag so that no sand gets
on them, and the floor
will be mostly protected


from sand, too.
Florida


- Sue in


 Textbook ID
 Dear Heloise: College
students should write
their name and phone
number on a sticky note
and put it in each text-
book just in case it gets
lost. I usually put mine
on the back side of the
cover page. Alison in
San Antonio
 Great hint, Alison! You
can write your informa-
tion on an inside cover in
pencil or ink, too. Then
later just erase it, or cover
over with marker. Hel-
oise


 Bag it
 Dear Heloise: Here is a
helpful hint for the kitch-
en sink at cleanup time
that my husband, Henry,
came up with. When the
daily newspaper is deliv-
ered, we save the plastic
sleeve (bag) that it comes
in, in a box in the laundry
room.
 When we are prepping
for dinner, we place the
bag in a corner of the
sink and drop all scraps
into it. When finished, we
tie it up neatly and toss
it into the garbage can.
No fuss, no mess and no
smell. The Andersons,
Neptune, N.J.


Bathroom hooks Tape for transport


 Dear Heloise: A wom-
an complained about
missing hooks for purses
in public restroom stalls.
My hint is this: If the
hook is missing, I loop
my purse's strap over the
corner of the stall door.
That way, it does not
touch the ground, and I
can still grab it if some-
one tries to take it. Te-
dra H., Auburn, Ind.


 Dear Heloise: Taking
food somewhere af-
ter cooking is always a
challenge. Here is a hint
I have come up with:
After cooking in my big,
enamel-coated cast-iron
pot, I just tape the lid to
the bottom with painter's
tape. Keeps food in and
leaves no residue once
removed. Jennifer K. in
Colorado


 JUMBLE


 JTPl f THAT SCRAMBLED WORD GAME
 ju l l by David L. Hoyt and Jeff Knurek
 Unscramble these six Jumbles,I
 one letter to each square, You can s I've never
 Yucnse seen
to form six ordinary words, it repeatedly anything
 smashes likethis.
 i the rock.
 HEKSAN IE /^ -;;*
 E/

@2014 Tribune ContentAgency, LLC E .
All Rights Reserved. o ,


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 Now arrange the circled letters
 EISFUNto form the surprise answer, as




 suggested by the above cartoon.
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 WAT INVENTEPT
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 PUTBAR Now arrange the circled letters
 to form the surprise answer, as
 _7 1s^_ suggested by the above cartoon.
 PRINT YOUR ANSWER IN THE CIRCLES BELOW

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DEAR PRUDENCE


Keep the boyfriend,


 ditch your friends


HELOISE